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1,015,642 Views ⢠Mar 24, 2021 ⢠Click to toggle off description
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âA central fact about early childhood is that babies are born into the world entirely at the mercy of others. They have no native strength, intelligence or utility, they cannot fight or complain, walk away or argue their case, their survival depends solely on their capacity to look up from their cots with vast innocent beautiful eyes â and charm their parents into caring for them. Itâs their power to attract love that ensures they will be fed and clothed, protected and kept alive.
In exchange for this nurture, young children readily offer their parents or caregivers unconditional admiration. They naturally adore and are boundlessly impressed by those who pick them up and bathe them, warm their milk and change their sheets. They are in awe at these giant people who know how to turn on a washing machine and kick a ball over a tree. There is â at this stage â no innate desire whatever to question or doubt figures of authorityâŚâ
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Views : 1,015,642
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Mar 24, 2021 ^^
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RYD date created : 2022-04-09T02:05:31.839301Z
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YouTube Comments - 3,006 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Some of us recognized the dysfunction early on. We ended up resenting our parents, wishing they could have been more like the loving parents of our friends and classmates. We knew intuitively there was something deeply wrong with our parents. At the same time, society informed us that we are required to love our parents. This situation takes a very long time to recover from.
4.5K |
At 44, i am just now starting to navigate away from self loathing. If you had crappy parents, they already stole your childhood. Don't let them take your adulthood too. You have the power to heal and develop lasting, meaningful relationships.
We in this together, let's go! â¤
683 |
Abuse is horrible, but neglect is a special version of hell. You are invisible. No amount of good grades or special talent is enough to get recognition (at home). Your shortcomings are served to you buffet style when you do get any attention. By puberty, that little bit of cuteness that was your last saving grace is gone and you are a detestable burden. In adulthood, finally, you watch everyone else succeed but just trying to keep a job, and hold onto the bare minimum, is a significant struggle. If they only knew how hard you try...
684 |
Itâs crazy how much our relationship with our parents as children affects our relationship with ourselves as adults.
5K |
"Sometimes when a person doesn't have children, it's a humane act. Sometimes when a person does have children, it's an Inhumane Act." Eric Warnock
3.7K |
Grew up in an Asian family with narcissistic parents who thought showing love was a weakness and could never express it. It's even awkward to hug a family member. Everything is true, you grow up to be self hating, shameful adults. To deal with this shame and self hate, the mind, even at that young age engages in maladaptive behaviors killing off their genuine self and putting on masks. And when that need for love is still not met, they shut down emotions. These attitudes and behaviors over time leads to maladies and condition like pure OCD, limerence, social anxiety, depression, covert narcissism and etc that will surface later in life. All things that can wastefully consume the hours and days of life, and prevent you from becoming the person you are truly meant to be. It can also lead some to becoming an extreme people pleaser later in life, to the point where it becomes unhealthy.
Their social and emotional development are hindered because they are still stuck in that self hating phase and rarely do they know how to deal with problems in a healthy manner, because they never had that love and support. This could also lead to addictions like gambling, drinking, and etc. Please don't starve your child of affection and attention.
If you have been a victim in the past, try to stop the cycle. Forgiveness is the first step. Forgive yourself and your parents. They were most probably victims themselves. I also believe therapy is a good attempt to overcome this.
720 |
When my mother texted me she was too busy to come to my wedding I dropped to the ground sobbing. I rang my sister & the first thing that came out of my mouth was: âWhy am unlovable? Why am so revolting & awful that she doesnât love me.â My big sister said âYou are more loveable than you could ever imagine.â We sobbed together. I donât think people can understand what itâs like to have a parent who just canât be what they are meant to be. Not everyone gets to have a mother, be thankful if you do.
406 |
Growing up my parents always made me feel like I owed them my life, that I should be grateful because they paid for my food, my living expenses and everything I have. To me, It is a ridiculous proposition, why would anyone bring a child into existence if they're not prepared to raise the child? Do they honestly expect a toddler to work and feed itself? Now I am estranged from my parents and I have never felt more relieved, they would call me selfish, ungrateful and whatever negative adjectives that can comfort their souls, but I'm not going back to that abusive life I wanted to escape since young.
If you're a parent, please do not make your kid feel like they're indebted to you, they're not. They do not choose to be born, it is by your decision they come into being, hence it is your responsibility to raise them, if you only have children to count on one day they will take care of you, don't have children, you're running their lives, chances are you'll ruin yours.
2.3K |
I'm 26 years old and I have never ever been hugged by my parents (no, they're not dead), and the result is now I have trouble expressing affection to others and I'm uncomfortable when people start being affectionate to me
2K |
My parents excelled at so many areas of parenthood, so I never understood what happened to me in childhood to generate such self-hate and low self esteem. My mom cooked dinner every night, we had lots of toys and each one of us had our own bedroom. We were always physically safe, took amazing summer vacations, had help with our homework in the evenings. It took a long time for me to realize that as a child, I was âpushed awayâ a lot in moments when I was vulnerable. I guess my parents were trying to make me more independent emotionally, but thatâs not quite what happened. I remember being afraid at night and feeling that I couldnât go downstairs to their bedroom for comfort because I knew they would get irritated with me. I felt I couldnât ask for hugs or cuddles because I was actually physically pushed away a few times by my mother who was almost always busy with a task. My older sisters wanted nothing to do with me and often ran off with their friends to leave me alone at home. Although I was well-cared for and I love my parents for EVERYTHING they did ârightâ in raising me, I do remember feeling very lonely as a child and I started believing there was something fundamentally wrong with me that my parents didnât want to hold me or be around me. They were simply too busy to be bothered, but Iâve carried this feeling with me my whole life. When I donât meet my own expectations, I feel undeserving. Hopefully I can create self-love as an adult.
270 |
I was being criticized by my family for every single thing; good or bad. Growing up Iâm so critical and never satisfied with any of my achievements.
115 |
This is why, people really need to think through their decision before having children if they're capable to provide love, safety, and the basic necessity for another human being.
1.6K |
Only ever being scowled at, never smiled at.
Only ever criticised, never praised, no matter how well I did in school.
Never receiving an ounce of affection.
Being left alone.
Never having fun with my parents.
Never being reassured.
Being ignored, despite repeating myself over and over until I gave up talking.
Being of less worth because I wasnât thin; constantly being told I had a fat this, that or the other.
I could go on.
My mother is a broken human because of her unhealed childhood trauma, and I believe only had me because my dad likely talked her into having a second child . She would have happily not had another, after a bad time with my older brother keeping her awake for the 1st 2 years of his life. I believe I was resented from the get go. I believe she also had post natal depression.
This manifests today in me, still. People pleasing. Terrified of conflict. Always trying to keep the peace. Never standing up for myself. Scared of being disliked. Feeling like the only way to solve problems is to run away. Not really being able to articulate myself in conversations. Never arguing because of lacking confidence in my argument.
Always trying to remember it wasnât my fault. Always trying to love and care for myself. Still struggling through.
Hugs out there to anyone who identifies with any of this. â¤ď¸ itâs not your fault. You deserved love.
2.4K |
As a child, I didn't think I would live to see 25. It was the only way I could cope with the abuse in my home. I'm 30 now and I'm finally learning to actually LIVE my life and make plans for my future, not just survive everyday life. This video hits home!
166 |
I'm in my 50s , extremely grown up but somehow still seven years old and being told I'm not worth anything . It's a bizarre reality created by two now long vanished people.
108 |
It always goes back to childhood doesnât it...
2K |
I yelled at my parents several times that if they did not want a child they should have taken a cold shower instead of sex because I was constantly reminded that I was unplanned and unwanted and could not get an abortion to avoid having me.
735 |
Well damn wasnât expecting to cry today. Also, after reading the comments, I never thought Iâd be in a space with so many people like me. I literally donât know anyone elseâs parent who were abusive, hateful, manipulative and just downright evil as mine. I went through everything in this video and I outright hate myself. I was a straight âAâ student, an athlete, had perfect attendance and never got in trouble. Not because I was raised correctly, but because I wanted to be worthy of being taken care ofâŚI never achieved that goal. And, that led into my life. Romantic relationships even platonic friendships all led me be mistreated and apologize and âchangeâ as if I was ALWAYS the issue. Through therapy and timeâŚIâm just now combating this in my 30sâŚ.
Iâm sorry this happened to usâŚbut it isnât the end.
162 |
My childhood wasn't the best, but I grew up a couple houses down from three boys who had a horrific mother. The father was long gone. You could hear her screeching at them all over the neighborhood. This was back in a time when folks just shook their heads and looked the other way. One of the boys committed suicide in his 20's. Another died from drug abuse. The third, who bore the brunt of his mother's rage, works hard, but his life seems to be a disaster, and I know he doesn't cope well, even as he approaches 60 years old. But he has a big heart, and we have remained good friends through the years.
66 |
@arastuz
3 years ago
The most underrated crime in human history is bad parenting
5.1K |