Views : 1,305,553
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Sep 26, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.971 (248/34,279 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-16T16:42:47.674394Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
I want to forgive myself, I really do. I want to forgive myself for all the times I stayed up late because I was on YouTube, for all the times I didn't stick to my schedule, for all the times I've been on social media for too long, for every time I ever blamed myself for things others wouldn't dream to blame on themselves. I want to forgive myself for not forgiving myself. I want to forgive myself for being hard on myself, for making myself cry, for making myself feel like I'm not worth it. But I can't. You see, I have found that I'm no person of shallow emotions. When I try to feel happy about making pretty notes, eating healthy, aesthetic food, about just romanticizing life, I find myself exhausted after a couple of hours. I cannot feel that kind of ''shallow" happiness. My real nature of feelings is deep and calm and dramatic and sad and loving and true, but at the same time, I've never really loved myself. Silly innit? Even though I am the only person who I will always be with. My heartbeat is my home. But I cannot bring myself to forgive myself because it is not something I feel with all my heart, in my true nature of feeling. I will have to fight, though, because I ain't giving up. I really hope I can come back to this comment in a couple of years and be like ''Yes Darling. We made it.'' That would make me so crazily happy. Thankfully I'm still young. Wish me luck, thank you for reading this far, random stranger I'm never gonna meet :) Have a good life, bye bye
Edit: I didn't want to edit this originally, but concluding from the replies to this some people think I'm suicidal. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not, that I never was, and that I'm doing better now. But I want to thank all of you who wrote supportive comments, they always made a bad day a little lighter :)
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I forgive myself for being so emotional, for caring too much, for trusting too easily, for having too much hope, for loving too deeply, for overthinking too much. Yes I might have trouble controlling my emotions and always ending up embarrassing myself, but I forgive myself, because thatās the way I am, and I am thankful that I still have a brave heart that can experience these emotional turmoils, that still know how to love someone, that still be able to care and still be able to get hurt. I forgive myself!
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After 3 years of alcoholism, selfishness and lack of self respect or to others, I'll be a year clean in a month and a half. I've done a lot of shitty things during that time. Both those that i remember and those that someone told me the day after. I betrayed trusts, lied, cursed, fought, insulted and cheated. Cheated the people that i loved the most in this world. I still hate myself some days, as many of those people that i wronged, I'll never have a chance to apologise to or get any type of closure. These scenarios repeat themselves over and over in my head when i try to sleep some days, memories that only live in my head and im too ashamed to speak about. But despite all of this, God still looked after me every now and then, enough to allow me to band together as much courage as i could, get up on my feet and climb out from rock bottom's basement. I doubt myself and my thoughts often, but the beast has been slain. It will never come back again to haunt me. I want to be better and i will be better. I owe it to every single one of you here and moreover, to everyone that i hurt. To all of you, im sorry i was like that.
Taquito, im so fucking sorry i was the monster that i was. You were an absolute angel and i thanked God every day for allowing me to draw breath every second that i was blessed to look at those green eyes and pretty dimpled smile of yours. Your presence made me believe that there really is a God, and that i was blessed to be together with you.
Kae, im sorry i said all those foul things to you. Im sorry we fought all those times because i wanted to keep on drinking. Man, you are my best friend. You truly are the most exceptional, loyal, loving, caring and inspiring friend one can hope to find in a lifetime.
I owe it to myself and to them. I will never be able to go back there and fix it, but i won't fall down into those depths again.
Today i lay my first stone and i say: You deserve forgiveness. Let it in.
If you've read this all, wholeheartedly, thank you for coming with me down that dark path and not leaving me alone there. I felt it.
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Forgiving yourself is a deeply personal and emotional experience that can vary from person to person, but it often involves a range of feelings and sensations:-
Relief: Forgiving yourself can bring a sense of relief and release from the burden of guilt or self-blame. It's like lifting a heavy weight off your shoulders.
Peace: Forgiveness can bring a sense of inner peace. You may find that the inner turmoil and emotional turmoil you've been experiencing start to subside.
Self-Compassion: It often involves showing yourself the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend or loved one in a similar situation. You become more accepting of your own imperfections and mistakes.
Healing: Forgiveness can be a healing process. It can help you let go of the past and move forward with your life.
Empowerment: Forgiving yourself can make you feel more in control of your emotions and your life. It allows you to take responsibility for your actions and make positive changes.
Freedom: It can feel like breaking free from the chains of self-blame and shame, allowing you to experience life without constantly dwelling on past mistakes.
Self-Growth: Forgiving yourself often comes with a commitment to personal growth and self-improvement. It's a recognition that you are a work in progress and that learning from your mistakes is part of the journey.
Gratitude: Forgiveness may lead to a sense of gratitude for the lessons you've learned from your mistakes and for the opportunity to grow and evolve as a person.
Reconciliation: In some cases, forgiving yourself can lead to reconciliation with others if your actions have harmed them. It can open the door to repairing relationships.
Renewed Self-Esteem: As you forgive yourself, you may start to rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth. It's a reminder that you are deserving of love and acceptance.
It's important to note that forgiving yourself is not always easy, and it may take time. It often involves self-reflection, self-awareness, and a willingness to let go of negative self-talk and beliefs. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be helpful in the forgiveness process, especially if you're struggling with self-forgiveness in the face of significant guilt or trauma. Ultimately, forgiving yourself can be a powerful act of self-compassion and a step toward emotional healing and growth.
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I forgive myself for not knowing myself. I forgive myself for not being true to myself. I forgive myself for not introspecting earlier. I forgive myself for not wanting to be myself. I forgive myself for hating myself. I forgive myself for not forgiving myself. I forgive myselffor not listening to myself when something or some one was wrong for me and i knew it before evidence happened. I forgive myself for giving up on myself, and my dreams. I forgive myselffor allowing others to cross boundaries and for being a people pleaser. I forgive myself for not honoring my body by foolish deeds and unhealthy living. I forgive myself for my mental illness. May love, joy, peace, and abundance follow each one of us that needs to and is forgiving ourselves. ā¤
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I can finally breathe
I can finally vocalize my sorrows silently to myself
I can finally tell myself
thatās itās ok
and that forgiving and forgetting yourself
isnāt always bad
because to forget, is to remember
and to remember, is to reminisce
I ask nothing of anyone reading my comment
Except for you to find a moment
Where you to, can forgive yourself for at least one thing
Please remember that in the end of this reality, when everyone leaf has blown off its branch.. including yourself
You have nobody but you
So donāt hurt them
Dont yell at them
Donāt harm them
Because they love you
They will stick with you when everyone else is gone
You need to be you, and care for you
And if you canāt, let out a breath.. and forgive yourself for not being able to
Tell yourself itās ok to mess up and not be able to do things, because even forgiving yourself for dropping a pencil is recognizing that hey, you dropped this, thatās ok though.. just a minor set back in writing the rest of my feeling
Writing out my future
Writing out
This message
To a lovely reader
Whoās too hard on themself sometimes
I love you, and I hope you can love you to some day.. if even just for a momentā¤ļø
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@LSTSOUNDS
7 months ago
Listen on Spotify - spoti.fi/3l0BFgw š
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