@j.ascension7

4 months ago

My Girlfriend of 7+ years is going through a mental health depreciation, she has recently been going through schizophrenia and she seems so distant from me. It's like she is being held hostage in her mind and the girl I remember is trying to find her way back to the surface, but in the blink of an eye, she is gone again. I miss her and I tell her this all the time, what kills me the most is when she says, "She misses herself too"... I just look to the future with hope that I can support her enough that she gets better and maybe someday she can be her real self again, for the past year I have watched her get progressively worse, it started with depression, and then it progressed into paranoia, she thought I was against her and everyone was conspiring to hurt her. The truth was, I was trying to work hard so we could have a better life together. And now it feels like we lost it all, she can't even have a full conversation with me anymore without returning to talking to herself. All I can do is hug her and give her a kiss and tell her that I'm here for her no matter what. She was my highschool crush and we found each other again 13 years later. We lived together in pure happiness for a few years, but ever since 2018 is when things started to take the turn for the worse. I am being as strong as I can be, because I'm not weak and I have a resolve that has been strengthened for decades, My patience is greater than most people that I know. There have been some dark days where I felt like giving up and just ending my life, but when I look at old photos and the memories we created, I think about if she hasn't given up, then why should I? When you love someone if they are worth fighting for then fight...even if you have to fight yourself ❤

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