Views : 1,549,510
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Aug 14, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.943 (914/62,797 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-04-29T02:21:52.03349Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
At this point I donât just stay up because Iâm a night owl. Iâm stay up because itâs the only time when the world seems peaceful with no arguments or bad situations. I just get to lay down take a breather for a sec before I end up falling asleep and waking back up into the nightmareâŚ
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to the person reading this,
Itâs been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you donât see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to lose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didnât think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all arenât perfect. Itâs painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain through your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You donât know how much impact you have in this world and itâs sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make a change, itâs something so simple and little that brightens up someoneâs whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things youâre passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though itâs been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that youâre here, existing, but I donât want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. Itâs heartbreaking that you think youâre not capable of being loved because you are, I love you through all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe your heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, itâs not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. Youâre not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me whatâs wrong. Itâs everything, isnât it? Thereâs something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, itâs heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and canât give you a hug, thatâs why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didnât give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didnât give up when you tried to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why canât you now? I know itâs tiring, your mentally tired, but don't your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Donât let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I wonât let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I wonât let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that thereâs someone looking right back, maybe we canât see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and thatâs enough for me because I am glad your heart is beating and youâre still fighting. Youâre so much stronger thank you think, you didnât leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesnât feel like it when you donât feel like belonging then build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, youâre one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because youâre heart is beautiful, thatâs why the demons in your mind want to have it. As one of the stars you see other stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in their life, but they lighten up the universe with each otherâs presence. Youâre a star for me, maybe you donât see it yourself but I can see it, youâre beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence, and when you can make me feel that way then you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and donât let your story get written by others but by yourself, itâs your story, not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of âI hopeâ because I have hope for you even if you donât have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. Thatâs why I hope you wonât see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you then donât blame yourself, donât think you werenât enough, donât lower yourself for someone who couldnât see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you donât feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart then I am so sorry that they couldnât see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you doesnât know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they are :). If you arenât accepted at home or in general then I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldnât be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. Youâre safe here with me :). Youâre not useless, youâre not a burden to anyone. Youâre not a problem, youâre human and your feelings are valid. Youâre not being dramatic. Please donât starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know itâs hard. It hurts to see that youâre in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, donât let your emotions control you. Donât let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while youâre reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, youâre reading this and itâs enough for me to be proud of you because youâre here and thatâs all that matters to me. If itâs the night for you, go to sleep, I know itâs hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, donât let them fight you. If itâs the day for you, donât start it with such sad music, I know itâs impossible to have a good day with such a mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water every day in the morning, and so on. You will start building little healthy habits. If itâs the evening for you, youâre probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know itâs okay to feel the way you feel. You donât need to be scared, of course, youâre overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldnât? But itâs important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self-care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed.
And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that youâre so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer, I want you here.
I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you donât need to fake it anymore because I canât say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. Youâre worth more than every fucking cent in this world.
You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but donât let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not a weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you to a song as your friend.
âDusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)â I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you.
In case no one told you and youâre unsure yourself, youâre a good person and I am so happy youâre here.
I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay?
Life for those who couldnât smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like thereâs no other, hug-like it's your last one.
If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :)
have a good day and a great year.
Not mine but u can spread it :)
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There's nothing wrong with your eyes.
There's nothing wrong with your nose
There's nothing wrong with your height
There's nothing wrong with your skin
There's nothing wrong with your mouth
There's nothing wrong with your hair
There's nothing wrong with your face
There's nothing wrong with your body
There's nothing wrong with your hands
There's nothing wrong with your fingers
There's nothing wrong with your teeth
There's nothing wrong with YOU
you are perfect.
I am so proud of you:)
You made it this far.
You are amazing:)
Don't give up.
NEVER GIVE UP
you're pretty
You're precious
Don't need to be insecure abt your face.
You are so beautiful<3
Everyone out there loves you:)
A lot of people are scared to lose you.
I love you.
Everyone loves you.
Your friends love you.
Your family also loves you!
Don't listen to those hateful comments.
They are just jealous of you bc you are very pretty/handsome<3
They are just jealous bc you have a special thing inside you and they don't:)
You DESERVE everything. You deserve to be loved, to be listened to, to be taken care of.
You are enough and NOT a mistake<3
I'm slowly starting to accept who I am....and I think you should too:)
- A lonely person on the internet<3
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Honestly idk if these playlists make me feel better or worse. But I dont think it really matters because in the end i think i wouldve always been this way. I am so tired of feeling like im going insane. Questioning my own existence and feeling overwhelmed by the future. Im tired of the repetitiveness. Im tired of school. Im tired of my mom treating my whole family like garbage. I dont want to feel how i feel anymore. Paranoid of losing everyone i love. Im ruining my relationship with my best friend because i get paranoid and think she hates me. So i distance myself. One second im okay and everything is fine and even the slightest difference in the way she said or texted anything to me would ruin my mood. Because thats how it is with my mom. I dont know why im so dependent on people. Why my feelings are only dependent on them. But I genuinely think shes trying to leave me. I think the fact that i moved gave her the oppourtunity to become more distant. Because she takes forever to answer my texts. To be honest, I wouldnt blame her. Sometimes i want to just ghost all of my friends. Because i know im a terrible person. I know i became so draining to be friends with, just being around me im sure was too much. It doesnt matter that i have severe depression that has been left untreated for years. Im positive i have made others uncomfortable by just existing. because i couldnt just be happy. Because i couldnt just enjoy the moment. So i wouldnt be mad if anyone didnt want to be in my life. So maybe i need to just let go altogether. Of everyone. Even the friends ive made here. Before i get too dependent on them. I need to erase myself from everyone's lives. I cant bear my own existence anymore. I dont care about good grades. I dont want to go to college. I dont want to be a dropout but i dont want to be successful. I just want to be gone. I hurt myself when im happy. When im sad. When im angry. There is something so wrong with me. I think im going crazy. I tried so hard the first week of school to be organized and put together and have good grades. But it fell apart in less than a month. Maybe i shouldnt say this here but i havent talked to anyone about my problems in a while, and im not telling anyone i know about what im going to do, so i think i really just need to get this out. Tonight im gonna kill myself. It probably isnt going to work. But im just so tired. I cant go another day. Nobody can help me. Even when i last attempted, and i told my parents, they didnt do anything to help. So theres no point in getting help, because it wont help. I dont want to see how miserable my family is. I dont want to go to school. I dont want to feel hurt anymore. I dont want to talk to my friends. Nothing is going to help. I cant do this anymore. I cant handle living. I dont want to just escape my problems. I want to escape life. I dont want to be happy. Because even after happy moments theres the bad moments. And it just keeps going. It never ends. Im tired of that. Im so so fucking tired of it.
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@tildeolsen1265
1 year ago
Timestamps!
0:00 Prom Queen - Beach Bunny
2:14 Miss Wanna Die - Juliet Simmons
5:33 Young - Vacation
8:40 Home - Cavetown
12:26 Since i saw Vienna - Wilbur Soot
14:53 Alien Blues - Vundabar
17:29 Not Allowed - TV Girl
20:17 Dark Red - Steve Lacy
23:08 Sharpener - Cavetown
27:04 Nobody - Mitski
30:19 Useless Child -
34:33 All The Things She Said - t.A.T.u
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