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387,550 Views • Premiered Jul 20, 2020 • Click to toggle off description
presave here: ffm.to/foreverfifteen
Shot / Directed / Edited / Colored by Mothica
Thanks to Momica for holding the camera for a few shots!
Concept: I wanted to show two sides: on the left, me following all the advice that people give me to deal with depression. For example, eat healthy! wake up early! exercise! read! go outside! And on the right, all the things my brain wants me to do. Lay in bed all day, stare at my phone, and feel depleted.
Follow me: linktr.ee/mothica
(and links to merch!)
Thank you for all the support recently. It means the world to me.
Views : 387,550
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Premiered Jul 20, 2020 ^^
Rating : 4.98 (84/16,937 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-04T11:17:52.925728Z
See in json
YouTube Comments - 388 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
"Said I'm fine but we both know I'm fakin' " I felt that a lot
253 |
Most songs talk about how people are numb when depressed, they feel dead inside. But when I’m having an episode I don’t feel numb I feel overwhelmed with anxiety and the hopelessness of my depression. I always pretend to be fine but honestly, I’m not, and I’m not breaking down because I’m legitimately too anxious to cry. Thank you for this song, it really helped me understand myself a bit better
300 |
This whole YEAR got me feeling everything at once
406 |
“I’m coming off apathetic I play it off as an aesthetic , clearly I care to much” same
100 |
This literally portrayed my mania vs depression and I’m actually crying this spoke to me on such a personal level. You are so incredibly talented!
421 |
Coincidence: this song came out in 2020 where we feeling everything at once 25 HOURS TO WAIT WTF
122 |
Lyrics
I can't cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can't shake this
Said I'm fine, but we both know I'm fakin'
I'm not feeling numb
I'm just feeling everything at once
Hate when you ask how I'm doin'
I know that you're just assumin'
I'm better now, not bleeding out
Get outta bed on a good day
Lately that's all I can do, hey
I go through hell to hide myself
I think about new ways to hurt me
But don't want my mother to see
It's not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That's why
I can't cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can't shake this
Said I'm fine, but we both know I'm fakin'
I'm not feeling numb
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything
Whatever I do, I can't slow down
Please, don't leave me alone now
'Cause when I stop, my demons talk
I'm comin' off apathetic
I play it off like it's anesthetic
Clearly I care too much, but I'm foolin' everyone
Oh, I think about new ways to hurt me
But don't want my mother to see
It's not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That's why
I can't cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can't shake this
Said I'm fine, but we both know I'm faking
I'm not feeling numb
I'm just feeling everything at once (Once)
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
126 |
If there's a video to ever describe how I constantly feel thanks to my mental illnesses, it's THIS.
Getting up and doing everyday things like the side on the left but mentally feeling like the side on the left, as if I'm not actually up and doing things but I'm just still in bed doing nothing.
108 |
“I thought you already got over this. You chose to be unhappy.” - my parents to me
24 |
I love this. You captured exactly how I feel vs. what everyone thinks you should do. Definitely a repeat song for me. Thank you Mothica
159 |
this song is still something i listen to on repeat. i was just sitting here, hiding away in the quietest, darkest room of my house. you cant escape from the feelings no matter what you do. i dont want to sit on my phone scrolling through the same things every day. i wish i could do more than the same 2 things. i wish showers made me feel better like they used to. i wish hanging out with people helped. i wish exercise and healthy food fixed it all. everything is draining and theres no knowing who you are anymore. thank you for expressing this through music. you finally got me to cry while my body has refused to all day
69 |
Mothica is the only artist that has made songs that actually say everything i feel. Like other singers talk about things i feel but usually its a song towards a boy that hurt them but a boy has never broken my heart because my heart was never whole to begin with...
14 |
I wonder what people’s bad days were like without the wide use of technology...
I know that when I am in a mentally bad place, I waste my whole day on my phone/laptop.
43 |
You’re the first singer I have ever felt in my entire life “these songs are written for me”
24 |
Can't wait! Premiere is 2am my time. Sleep is overated anyways.
50 |
I was diagnosed with Borderline last week. I've been trying to figure out how it's affected my life and what it feels like to have this when this song popped in my life. Everything at once. This song's taken on a new meaning for me, thank you <3
3 |
I just want to say thank you. Your music saved my life.
28 |
Im glad I found a artist who really knows how I feel
3 |
Just found this song and it made me break down in tears. Ive never related to a song so much. Im doing really bad right now with my mental health after literal years of clawing to the surface. Quarantine has made me do a 180. I use to go to the gym, eat healthy, visit my therapist every week and was managing my anxiety so well for the first time in my life.
Now my therapist suddenly took a new position so i cant even talk to her through email, i have only left my house twice since march and feel like im the only one struggling right now because my anxiety has made me agoraphobic and.. idk this song just makes me feel so seen.
I know im just a stranger on the internet but from deep down in my heart thank you so much! i cant wait for blue hour to drop💕
6 |
@mirandamyers4055
3 years ago
I feel like this describes how it feels to have “good” days mentally vs “bad” days mentally so well. No matter if you have a “good” or “bad” day you still feel depressed/numb/everything at once. It’s wild how accurate this is.
1K |