forever fifteen ep - MARCH 19
presave here:

Directed by Mothica
Edited by Kyle Blaich
Cinematography by Jacob Lane Dugger
Lighting by Peter Garland
Styling Assistant by Drew Cockrell

Special thanks to Bianca Posey, Sleeping Lion, Kyle McCammon, Nicole & Zealyn.

I'm so nervous to share this because it's the first video I've directed! I had the idea to show the aftermath of a wild night out. I hope this feels as realistic to you as it did to me. Can't wait to share more music and visuals with you! As always, thank you for supporting me.

Follow me:

oh god
what did I do
i’m out of control again
woke up
blacker then blue
probably lost a friend

my throat's so fucking dry from saying sorry
wake up a different person in the morning
forget every lesson daddy taught me
i never learn, I just make it worse

oh god
what have I done?
what did I say last night?
did I play the fool?
did I make you believe
I was having a good time?
cause i’ve been drinking all of my emotions
until i’m sick until i’m broken
oh god
what have I done?
what have I done?

oh no
should've stayed home
but it’s hard to be alone sometimes
dark thoughts
got me so low
i’d do anything to clear my mind


all the nights I missed
poison on my lips
all alone
i’m done
i’m done hiding it
i’m done fighting it
on my own

From da web

McKenzie Ellis, known professionally as Mothica, is an American singer. She grew up in Oklahoma City and began producing music when she was 18 years old. Since 2015, she has produced a dozen albums and singles distributed across several online musical streaming platforms such as on Spotify, SoundCloud and Bandcamp along with numerous collaborations and features with other musicians known by "Nydge", "PUSHER", "Crywolf", and "Icarus Moth". In June 2020, a TikTok video she posted that included her song "VICES" went viral, providing greater notability as a musician and singer.

From wikipedia under CC-BY-SA 3.0

Metadata And Engagement

Views : 322,699
Genre: Music
Upload date: Premiered Mar 1, 2020 ^^

Rating : 4.966 (85/9,861 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-09T09:32:06.288538Z
See in json

Comments - 311

Top Comments are being randered rn :3 all comments are soon!



2 years ago - 145 Likes


I really love the part “Cause I’ve been drinking all of my emotions,
’Til I’m sick, until I’m broken”

The way you’s really heartbreaking. The emotions you put in there is just genuine. It hits me so bad. You deserve the fame, Mothica. Sending love from Malaysia.

2 years ago - 40 Likes


if you watched this, you are now my best friend

2 years ago - 2.1K Likes


I´m so proud of you! I admire your transformation and your power to change for a better version of you. It is truly inspiring!

2 years ago - 97 Likes


I really enjoyed the song, but like...girl...are you okay?
I hope you are because I've been following you through your musical journey for wow almost 3 years and it would suck to see you hit a rough patch.

2 years ago - 311 Likes


Открыла для себя эту девочку и несказанно рада этому. Очень вовремя. Она 🔥

1 year ago - 4 Likes


Literally just listened to Vices now i’m gonna be crying and binge watch and listen to all your songs!!!!!💗

2 years ago - 69 Likes


I found you on TikTok earlier today and now I’m a huge fan!!

2 years ago - 252 Likes


You are by far one of the most talented people I’ve came across in a long time... Your music deserves more hype! 😍

2 years ago - 12 Likes


Currently in the process of trying to be sober.

2 years ago - 146 Likes


This song really really hit me…. As have all of your songs. You are truly a gift. You help me cope with all my mental health issues. When I’m at my lowest, I put on your music, and I don’t feel so alone and can get myself back up and keep going. Please know how important your music is….

2 weeks ago - 0 Likes


I’m excited for you. I think you’ll go far, looking forward for more releases, keep it up!

2 years ago - 62 Likes


Honestly, I'm obsessed. Your music is so good... You're officially up there with Halsey for my favorites. ♡ 😍😍

2 years ago - 18 Likes


you deserve more!!! i been sober for past few years and its because of the songs which made me realize what i have been doing with my life. you inspire me more with your songs. i could relate...and two advises from your best friend
1. never do that shit again.
2. surround your self with people who really love u "really" and keep doing what you are doing now .
much love <3

2 years ago - 22 Likes


And the Grammy for best new artist goes to Mothica❤️‍🔥

3 months ago - 0 Likes


Your music is truly motivation for me!! Thank you so much

9 months ago - 1 Likes


I can’t stop playing or singing all your songs serously on repeat ♥️

2 years ago - 4 Likes


This hit deep, and I really felt it. I went through a divorce, and I would drink myself into a blackout. I don’t rely on it anymore, only socially drink, and I found this song a couple weeks later.

2 years ago - 0 Likes


Crazy how so many artist are on the radio who genuinely have no real talent. Yet, we have you, who is extremely talented with an amazing voice and not on the radio. I found you on tiktok and I was instantly drawn to your voice.

2 years ago - 7 Likes


It's not always that we see great artists like you, I can wait to see you keep growing!! Keep up with the great work!

2 years ago - 2 Likes