Views : 233,260
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Feb 29, 2024 ^^
Rating : 4.982 (96/20,697 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-06T04:04:44.219821Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
A dear friend left this world on his own foot last month. He planned and talked about this to me because he knew I wouldn't judge him, having tried twice in my teens. He didn't go through this phases exactly but he did tell me he felt trapped. I love you, my heart is broken, I hope you're not in pain anymore
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Suicidal ideation is unfortunately a daily thing for me. And it has been for many years since childhood. Itās only been active one or two times in the 6 years I have lived with it, but I feel like passive is overlooked so much. And In my experience the passive ideation was so much more draining and painful than the active phase.
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On Valentine's day of 2022 I attempted suicide, I was in my senior year of high school and was in a really dark place I honestly thought I was never gonna see the day of my graduation, I stayed with my sister for weeks. I didn't go to school for almost two weeks (I had both online classes and in the building classes) when I came back I was honestly surprised with the people who realized my absence and asked if I was OK and my mom (who wasn't the best when it came to the topics of mental health) had my clothes neatly folded and my room which was messy cleaned I honestly felt and still do feel guilty. I'm now 20 turning 21 this year and have a son now I still struggle with my mental health but please if you are in this dark place it gets better. Trust me when I say that people will notice your gone and will miss you. Please keep going keep fighting you are strong and I'm proud of you. ā¤ā¤
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Sometimes I wonder how is it that so many guys out there are living life in easy mode, while Iām stuck on hard as if the universe has some kind of vendetta against me. Feels like the universe has singled me out for a string of unfortunate events, a perpetual cycle of bad luck while everyone else gets all the breaks. I honestly feel that I was born into the wrong universe, where I feel so out of place, like I donāt belong here. But then again, sometimes Iād like to think that maybe it's just life's way of throwing challenges our way, testing our resilience and perseverance. It's not easy, but sometimes the hardest journeys lead to the most meaningful destinations.
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I eat healthy well balanced meals, i keep up with my hygiene, workout regularly, and from the outside i know i look like a well adjusted and optimistic person(i was actually described as optimistic before, not sure where they got that from) but i have moments like this one right now where i just feel like dying, or making a wish to have never been born.
Nothing happened today to trigger these thoughts. Nothing has to happen to trigger these thoughts, they just pop up when they decide they want to. I was fine today at work, i was listening to music and a song came on my phone that i listened to a thousand times before and sung along to. I was singing along to it and then the lyrics just hit me out of nowhere(the song was "So Called Life" by 3 days grace)
I hate that i could go from feeling fine(not particularly sad or particularly happy) to feeling like i want to die in a matter of minutes, for seemingly no reason at all. All it takes is a fleeting thought, maybe a line from a book im reading, a song im listening to, or simply observing other people, for me to feel this way.
My life feels meaningless and all i have to look forward to in the future is pain and misery and being stuck in the same place ive been in for the past idek how long, all i know is i cant recall a time ive ever felt genuinely happy to be alive. Even as a child. Im 25 years old now. Sometimes i wish for my life to end, most of the time i feel fear and despair at the thought of my own death.
All i know is, i cant stop thinking about death, my death, the death of my loved ones. I cant stop thinking about how inadequate i feel. I cant stop thinking about the possibility of developing an illness, facing financial ruin and ending up homeless, being stuck at a job that makes me feel miserable, and being stuck in the same place im in now, lonely and dealing with feelings of meaninglessness.
Even as a child i struggled with loneliness. I was surrounded by a lot of fake friends. Between the fake friends and my family treating me like i was a terrible child, i learned early on that i was an unlikable person.
As an adult, i have acquaintances and people i talk to at work, but i dont have any friends. Out of all the worries in my head, its the fear of never finding my tribe and the knowledge that my loved ones would one day die(making me truly and completely alone) that fills me with the most despair.
If i was never born, if my parents never thought to try for a third(a third child they could barely afford among other things) i wouldnt have to go thru any of this. I wouldnt exist, i wouldnt have to suffer. I wouldnt have to face death(which is the biggest suffering of them all)
Why couldnt they have stopped and think and asked themselves if having a third child was a good idea? I couldve been spared all of this.
Now i must sit here a suffer until its my time to die, a moment i both fear and long for.
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@Psych2go
2 months ago
One of our important projects we've worked on. This video covers the unnoticed struggles of passive suicide ideation, often overshadowed and overlooked. For anyone who is struggling, you are not alone. Please reach out for help. :_PSIPsiFamHug: Help us share this important video message to save lives. :_PSIPsiFamHug: If you know someone is struggling. We have a video on How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal might help you https://youtu.be/B7dKgg4Z9tg
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