Views : 176,716
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Feb 17, 2024 ^^
Rating : 4.983 (33/7,610 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-21T04:52:21.424256Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
ive been told it gets better, and i say the same to everyone else who is struggling around me because im sure it does. but just for them. it has been over 5 years, im getting worse and worse, my family is fine, we have ups and down, my friends are perfectly fine, im there for them. i know exactly what i need to do to get better, but i cant bring myself to do so. i cant bring myself to stop my addiction, i cant bring myself to distract myself from thoughts. i let it happen, its like i dont even care anymore.
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I don't talk about my feelings because I don't know how they'll react.
I don't sh because I don't want them to worry
I think I'm a monster, but they treat me like I'm pure.
I feel like I can't talk to my family, so they step in.
I stayed because of them.
I hate my life, but I know my friends need me.
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When I was in 7th grade I had most of these songs in my playlist,I would listen to them while I waited for my bus after climbing out of my window because my door was blocked by trash,food,mold,dirty clothes,art stuff, and coke cans. Eventually I wouldn’t get out of bed to go to should and would sleep all day and wake up to a subway sub on my bed from my mom at 8pm before she went to work. I was kicked out of school and rotted in my bed for 9 months before I was sent to a hospital and went to live with my dad. These songs were my life, and I hated living it.
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its gotten to a point i dont want anyones comfort or support or them saying if im okay. i just need a hug and someone to be by my side. i dont want to talk about it, i just want people to be here. with no talking. im so fucking done with this life and i dont know where to go or who to trust. i just.. want love for fucks sake. younger me couldnt get it, and i cant either.. i promised myself i'd be better.. now im a fucking loser who doesnt do anything but be on my internet and be a asshole. im.. failing my younger self. what the fuck is wrong with me..
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4:50 «alone nugget...»
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every time i get better and better but then everything goes bad again over and over either its my friends or family or school or anything it somehow gets to this point in some way sometimes it only lasts for a day but sometimes it lasts for months i dont know what to do other than type in a youtube comment section cause if i vent to my friends theyll think im a baby or make fun of me and when i vent to my family i dont know what to say and it gets awkward cause my family and my friends have a weird connection or they just dont like them and if i vent on my tiktok people just make fun of me, say womp womp or flat out dont give any help or anything. sorry to whoever read this and thanks for reading.
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@zwodarek222
2 months ago
~ Timestamps ~ 0:00 - 3:46 Radiohead "No Surprises" 3:47 - 7:35 Mac DeMarco "Chamber Of Reflection" 7:36 - 9:38 Eyedress "Jealous" 9:39 - 14:23 Cigaretes After Sex "Apocalypse" 14:23 - 19:36 Cigaretes After Sex "K." 19:36 - 24:09 Memo Boy "Insomniac" (slowed) 24:10 - 28:24 Grimes "Genesis" 28:25 - 31:16 Doja Cat "4 Morant" 31:17 - 33:59 Salvia Palth "I Was All Over Her" 33:59 - 37:14 TV Girl "Cigaretes Out The Window" 37:14 - 39:09 øneheart x reidenshi "snowfall" 39:09 - 42:47 Guti "Girl Of My Dreams"
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