@TheStupendium

3 years ago

CHECK OUT HARRY'S ALTERNATE ENDING! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJqdMm-GrF4 LYRICS: SCOUT: Watch out! The scout's out and about. Running around, bringing bonks right down on your scalp Do you even know who you're talking to here? I'm a streak of greased lightning, keep fighting for years I'm a stunner, number one run and gunner My beats bring the heat 'cause I'm a sweet double jumper Your finger’s on the trigger but before you get to pull it I'll take a sip of fizz and go whizzing past your bullets I'm on it like a rocket on a course to freakin' pound ya Call me Super-Sonic 'cause I'm running rings around ya I'm a dab hand with a sandman I'm the baddest in the badlands I'm a speed freak on a kill streak See a blur and then it's bang bang DEMO: I'm the Demo! Explosions are my M.O. Tyrant from the highlands getting violent on the bellows The only thing more volatile than me would be my ammo I'll leave you blown to pieces while my piece is screaming blammo Did this have whisky in or was it nitroglycerine? I'll find out on the way out if I'm spouting flaming p*ss again 'Cause if I live another day my liver might go anyway And I'd rather go in glory so in war I won't be giving in I suffer for my art I've got sulphur on the heart This tartan Spartan's gonna tear you apart. Fire shots at the Cyclops, it never ends well Oh, they're gonna have to glue you back together in hell SNIPER: Zoom, red dot Boom, headshot Your head's got a new lead clot Bring you to a dead stop, leave you with your head popped Another target on the list that can be checked off 'Cause on a mission I am viciously efficient My vitals just my rifle and a set of jars to p*ss in When it comes to assassins you could say I'm high-calibre Yanking my machete from your head like it's Excalibur No mercy mercenary, I'll take you down like cattle when My true forte's in 2Fort playing blood sports on the battlements Spray your brain before you know what's happening Safe to say, no way that you'll be wearing hats again If you’re seeing red or you’re feeling blue If you wanna bust caps and wear them too If you like warfare in stylish headear Well have we got the game for you No there isn’t any greater Military millinery simulator We fight all day to find out who’s The most fashionable faction in TF2 SOLDIER: Listen up ‘cause I won’t say it again You'd better not be sissies because war is not a game! Unless of course it's war games, then I’m all for games Hope you're keeping score because numerate I sure ain't! I am good at fighting, ask Sun Tzu I taught him all he knows in the art of Shovel Fu Way back in ancient China when I met him one night He said Soldier’s really cool and the best at winning fights Now I win all the fight money wherever I go 'Cause my rockets go BOOM then you explode Now, the army told me that I was crazy But I wrote this song so I’m clearly amazing SPY: Gentlemen, it won't be gentle when I sneak into your base and steal the faces of your helpless friends Stealing your briefcase really was a brief case You think you're smart but I have the intelligence Be a man! Why do you have to die screaming? I shoot you, take the loot and take my suit for dry cleaning. I’m not cheating you ignorant swine I creep in and sneak things right into your spine When I fight with my butterfly it stings like a bee So tonight tell your mother 'hi', give her a kiss from me I'm debonair with deadly flair, I'm anyone and anywhere The face your mother wakes to is the last you'll ever see HEAVY: I am heavy weapons guy I make puny babies cry Want to live? Rule one: Don't. Touch. My. Gun. May be slow, no need to rush ya When i'm rolling with Natascha Fill you dead with holes we crush ya Leave you cold like snow in Russia. That's puny gun! I punch more damage! Chew you up for lunch like sandvich Think you can outrun me? Prove it I'd like to see you outrun bullet If you’re seeing red or you’re feeling blue If you wanna bust caps and wear them too If you like warfare in stylish headwear Well have we got the game for you No there isn’t any greater Military millinery simulator We fight all day to find out who’s The most fashionable faction in TF2 ENGINEER: Howdy! The engineer’s in the field Farm boy charm with a megaton yield I’ve got a cranium laced with uranium Dispense your offense with the weapons I wield I'm hot stuff, ‘cause I’ve a hundred degrees So if you boil my blood you’ll get burned on Steam I'm over qualified to leave you nullified and tan your sorry hide You'd better run and hide or die by my machines Just a friendly Engy Preventing entry with a deadly sentry Each practical problem I solve, my skill mounts The only thing higher than my IQ is my kill count PYRO: Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Emboldened scolding folds of red and gold are my desire! Its my sacred duty, keep the beauty burning higher Leave you dismembered in the embers, every felling swells the pyre! I'm a terror from the nether, something that you've never seen With a charcoal soul, heart pumping kerosene You've met your match you'll be a charred patch on the floorboards I'll strike a match and strike the match off of the scoreboard What's it matter if my brain's deranged when I snuff you out? Boy, does it look lovely out! Candy canes and fluffy clouds! Racking up the kills as I’m cranking up the grill Easy to blow you away when you're just powder MEDIC: Got a little headache? You'd better call the Medic! Were you wanting anesthetic? Really don’t be so pathetic That burning is a bird within your sternum that snuck in whilst I was working But I think a bloody dove is quite a lovely aesthetic You grazed your knee? Well it seems to me You need invasive exploratory surgery See I may have a little uncertainty Between patient, Specimen? It’s a blur to me. Get the point of my syringes at your hiney I’ll Übercharge and buff you 'til you're shiny I could fix you quick with my medi-gun The procedure is painless but that’s no fun… If you’re feeling blue or you’re seeing red If what’s on your mind’s what’s on your head Who wants to battle When there’s catalogues of hats to browse instead? It’s not how far you push the cart What matters is the noble art Of dressing heads in dandy threads To wear whilst you are blown apart If you’re seeing red or you’re feeling blue If you wanna bust caps and wear them too If you like warfare in stylish headwear Well have we got the game for you No there isn’t any greater Military millinery simulator We fight all day to find out who’s The most fashionable faction in TF2

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