@TheStupendium

1 year ago

BE SURE TO WATCH DAN'S ALTERNATE VERSION TOO FOR NEW SCENES! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_pTDB1vJW8 LYRICS: INTRO Sleeping deep beneath the sleepers of the isle There’s a demon creature dreaming, heathen and reviled Sees no rhyme or reason but for feasting when he’s riled Better let him be, lest you are sure to see the smile Of sixteen tonnes of scurrying death Smouldering souls through funnel of red With a pick-like grin on the front of his head Sat atop a most illogical number of legs VERSE 1 Tickets, please! Let me tell you the tale Of a wicked beast, that’ll follow your trail Through the valleys and vales, on your tail day and night There’ll be chaos on the rails when the railway strikes Stop, take stock, try to gauge the situation ‘Fraid your train has been derailed, there’s no use waiting in the station Every engine’s been dismantled, there’s no other service coming Charles is leading by example, he’s the only train that’s running All in all, we're in a doozy of a mess So, all aboard the WTF express Should you want to stay safe, then I wouldn’t play games Or you’ll learn another way of saying, “Run away! TRAIN!” CHORUS Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead But you might just find that behind it instead Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred And we’re next on the menu if we’ve left him unfed Charlie Your timetable says it’s almost time for tea Charlie And we’ve laid on quite a spread, as you can see There’s a choo-choo train Coming after you Food chain’s Gone a bit askew Won’t catch that train If it’s gonna catch you VERSE 2 For certain worse than what they say to mind the gap for The train’s not just cancelled, it’s damn well deplatformed Since it scampered off the tracks to find a snack from off your back lawn Couple jackdaws and your cat and then your dad from off the back porch He’s hungry and he’s hunting down the islanders With a side of any siding-hiding bystanders Quite queer what his dietary requirements are But it’s pretty clear regardless he’s a dining car Coke? Coal? Petroleum? Alone they’ll never do No, this engine sends the scent of rendered flesh out from the flue On this service we’ll be serving something rather more unnerving Chugga-chugging on blood as he chew-chews you It’s all true, choo-choos consume fuel too Humans are a whole new consumable and whole food Gluten free range and more renewable than coal too So, who to choose to chew to this tune? Ooh, you’ll do CHORUS Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead But you might just find that behind it instead Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred And we’re next on the menu if we’ve left him unfed Charlie Your timetable says it’s almost time for tea Charlie And we’ve laid on quite a spread, as you can see Charlie If we sate your lust for flesh on which to feed Charlie Will you promise to eat them instead of me? There’s a choo-choo train Coming after you Food chain’s Gone a bit askew Won’t catch that train If it’s gonna catch you MIDDLE 8 Engine, engine number nine On the Aranearum mining line If your train comes off the track Better run, better run, or you won’t come back VERSE 3 Hey, guess who! This is déjà vu Like HS2, you’ll be railed right through Penetrated in the vein of a mainline route When we come, well then, we’re gonna run a train on you You might say we’ve got a loco motive To provide the train with a load of groceries Locally sourced from the local folk, dear Granny’s s’posed to host, although she’s toast when the smoke clears The el choo-choopacabara, the beast come to dine And it’s far worse than leaves that he leaves on the line You’ll see when he feasts in the deep of the night By the pieces of people-y debris left behind Riding off-peak? Don’t be ridiculous The worth of your season ticket is Quickly diminishing with every pillock We’re feeding into his gleaming scissorous teeth But if we seem insidious We’re just uneasy villagers Seeking to keep the most hideous beast We unleashed from committing the deed of killing us If killing a priest, a vicar, a grocer or postman or three is villainous? Well, what’s it to me? You probably see the feast is imminent Keep on screaming, pump the bellows, he’ll be drawn to your duress Charlie loves a little murder on the goriest express You can ruminate on whether there’s a certain train near Or pray that it’s a rumour made to circulate fear But in case you didn’t hear then I better make clear This train terminates here CHORUS Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead But you might just find that behind it instead Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred And we’re next on the menu if we’ve left him unfed Charlie Your timetable says it’s almost time for tea Charlie And we’ve laid on quite a spread, as you can see Charlie If we sate your lust for flesh on which to feed Charlie Will you promise to eat them instead of me? There’s a choo-choo train Coming after you Food chain’s Gone a bit askew Won’t catch that train If it’s gonna catch you

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