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Mothica - UPSIDE (Official Music Video)
325,668 Views • Premiered Aug 28, 2021 • Click to toggle off description
on the upside, everything's gonna be just fine.... i'm already dead on the inside, nobody can hurt me now.

Directed by Mothica & Samuel Halleen
Edited by Samuel Halleen @samuel_halleen

Cinematography by Neema Sadeghi @thenamesneema
1st AC - Ian Finneran @okiewankenobi
Gaffer - Tim Katz @timkatz
Grip - Blake Brown @blakenolanbrown

Colorist - Strack Azar @strackazar
VFX - Matt Collamore @matt_collamore

Location by Meaghan & Ernie @saudadevintage_ @bigblockblondie
Set Design by The Junk Fairy OK @thejunkfairyok

Hair & SFX Makeup - Lacey San Nicholas @lacey.san.nicholas
Zombie Girl - Jayden Andews @earlymorningrobert

Party Guests:
Domonique @justdam
Camille Thomas @camillethomas444
Isaiah Pickens @iziapluscamera
Xander @405kingping
Lacey San Nicolas @lacey.san.nicolas
Johnny Scoggins @josco.visual
Han @tumblrdaddyirl
Johnny Manchild @johnnymanchild
Meaghan Syrälä @bigblockblondie
Drew Cockrell @drewsview_
Gian Archiniaco @popisdead

Styled by Mothica & The Junk Fairy OK
Styling Assistant - Drew Crockrell @drewsview_
Metadata And Engagement

Views : 325,668
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Premiered Aug 28, 2021 ^^

Rating : 4.949 (172/13,358 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-09T20:38:08.02204Z
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YouTube Comments - 326 Comments

Top Comments of this video!! :3


2 years ago

‪Theory: the greatest ad for beef jerky in the history of advertising‬

632 |


2 years ago

Theory: you’re representing how you feel on the inside, struggling mentally and battling depression, and that’s why you’re a zombified Mothica in the video. Everyone around you sees life in color, but you see only grey. Toxic positivity is tough to deal with so you just have to be there physically with these people despite not being there mentally while they celebrate your birthday. You’re an outcast with this group. You can’t relate to anyone and finally at the end find someone else who’s “already dead on the inside” who you can relate to. I think this is a powerful message and very creative video!! 🖤

239 |


2 years ago

SO SO GOOD!! On October 30th, it'll be the 6 year anniversary of a childhood friend's suicide. You and our music have helped me heal so so much. It was an honour to be a part of your forever fifteen lyric video. I'm now 5 years, 9 months, and 30 days free from self harm, and last week I hit ONE HUNDRED DAYS sober from Opiates! Your story, your art, your music, has truly changed my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without you and Blue Hour. If my friend was still here, I know for a FACT she would absolutely adore it. Thank you for sharing your art with us. I know how hard it is to make it big completely independently. You've got this! The production quality of this video is also top notch👌🏻

188 |


2 years ago


I come home to lights off, missed calls, don't even bother
Can't sleep, can't eat, I'm underwater
There's nothing that you can say, I've always felt this way
Left out, leftovers on the counter
Feels like I'm only sinking further
There's nothing that you can say, just chemicals in my brain

There's a little voice running through my head
Reminding me of the stupid things I said
All the mistakes I've ever made
Playing over again

On the upside, everything's gonna bе just fine
I'm already dead on thе inside
Nobody can hurt me now
On the outside, having the time of my life
Hanging with people I don't like
Nobody can hurt me now
Nobody can hurt me now, ooh
Nobody can hurt me now, ooh
Nobody can hurt me

Bloodshot, no tears, at least it's something
Still here, didn't even see you coming
I don't like the way it feels but at least I can say it's real

There's a little voice running through my head
Reminding me of the stupid things I said
I let the monsters in my bed, they say

On the upside, everything's gonna be just fine
I'm already dead on the inside
Nobody can hurt me now
On the outside, having the time of my life
Hanging with people I don't like
Nobody can hurt me now
Nobody can hurt me now, ooh
Nobody can hurt me now, ooh
Nobody can hurt me

Now, ooh
Nobody can hurt me now, ooh
Nobody can hurt me now

100 |


2 years ago

I love how this video has so many levels to it. First off, she's a zombie because she feels dead inside. I liked how all of the party people seemed super bright and happy- often when I'm feeling "like a zombie", everyone around me seems almost obnoxiously happy. I think also it seemed like she was trying to do normal things (brush teeth, eat, smile), but it felt wrong and forced, like going through the motions (😉). It's a perfect representation of what so many of us feel like- totally empty on the inside but trying to act smiley for everyone around us. I also feel like at the end she finds another person like her, and by taking the girls' arm, Mothica takes a little piece of her with her. Basically- it was a dope video. Mothica, bravo you've done it again 👏

52 |


2 years ago

So proud of u for this.Every MV is a masterpiece 🖤

108 |


2 years ago

i’m so insanely excited for this!! this song got me out of a really rough time (as did the rest of the EP)

79 |


2 years ago

Theory: I don’t wanna like be too presumptuous, but definitely the feeling that everyone around you is experiencing joy and happiness in a way that doesn’t feel palpable for you. Like your on the outside of the veil everyone else feels and tries to impress on you. You’re like conveying exhaustion from the wear and tear of how that weighs?

52 |


2 years ago

Theory: youre dead inside, around a world who doesn’t seem to notice. And yet, the people you feel closest too/the people who always seem to care, are the ones that are equally as miserable as you.

231 |


2 years ago

These music videos are always so good, the style is just perfect.

39 |


2 years ago


62 |


2 years ago

I discovered you this week and ended up binging your entire discography, your music is already helping me through some rough times so thank you so much for making this art, you're such an inspiration to me already ❤️❤️❤️

37 |


2 years ago

This era's music videos have been so great. I'm so proud of you

16 |


2 years ago

My theory is walking through life feeling as though you've already died while everyone around you is alive and happy, and they keep giving you things that will "make" you happy or make you alive like them, even though it doesn't work and it doesn't bring you back. The only thing that does give you a reaction is when you finally see someone that's like you

17 |


2 years ago

The whole music video is such a mood.

21 |


2 years ago

This is such a masterpiece. I need the lyrics omg

17 |


2 years ago

Right when I feel at my lowest you drop another masterpiece and help me keep going, tysm <3

10 |


2 years ago

This is precisely the song I needed at this particular time. Thank you.

5 |


2 years ago

i love that we're slowly getting music videos for all of the songs in this EP, because dear lord do i love it so, so much <333 this one is def my fave so far

4 |


2 years ago

i love this so much!! to me this is about feeling so overwhelmingly numb while everyone else around you is perfectly fine, and you're just wondering how they're so happy and what's wrong with you, because you should be happy like them, what's wrong with you? but then you finally find someone like you, who too struggles with feeling nothing sometimes. and it's great having someone who finally knows what you're going through, so you don't have to hide anymore <3

1 |

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