Views : 231,244
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Premiered Mar 20, 2024 ^^
Rating : 4.999 (1/6,174 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-20T02:37:56.441237Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
Well, he just answered the million-dollar question of my life, "Why are you single?" Because my whole life, I have chosen people who activate my nervous system into fight or flight mode thinking that it was love. I have never been able to answer that question with so few words . But it's the truth, thank you
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@34:47
The guy I most recently dated told me about the last girl he was with & how she was really cold and never acknowledged him or how he cared for her, but he still wrote sad songs about her. I tried to end it when I realized he was hung up on someone, but he insisted he was as healing and he saw dating me as moving forward from that. Yet of course, he wasn’t showing up in the way I know I deserve, and I experienced HIM as being unavailable emotionally. I could tell he enjoyed how nurturing, sweet, and open I was to him, but he took it for granted. And I understand, because I’ve been in his position. It’s what you guys are talking about - we only recognize love when we are trying to earn it. I was doing it with him and he wasn’t as into me as the last girl because he didn’t have to earn my love/attention. Clearly we’re both wounded. It woke me up to the work I still have to do personally. No regrets.
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I’m really proud of how far I’ve come in voicing my needs, however, the recent experience of having my needs labelled “too high expectations” or “sensitive” or “you shouldn’t need that” and invalidated and denied really shook me. It’s been 2 months and I’m already healing well, but I wish I walked away once my needs were denied. They were as simple as cuddles after intimacy, going on a date, asking for an apology… basic things. I was always the one going “how can I love you better? What can I do? What do you need?” And he asked it once towards the end of our relationship, made the change I requested, then blew up when he couldn’t keep up the “act” as he called it. Man, I’m ready to work on myself and take this time to heal, and when I date again, I’m being authentically me and not being afraid to say no to the wrong person…
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I can attest to dropping the thing we normally use to attract people. I’m huge into pole fitness & I have a ton of fantastic pictures…but putting them on the dating app profile gets me nothing but superficial men chasing thrills. Once I started posting my average every day pictures, I began getting better matches
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32:40 That’s spot on about the nervous system ! … ANDDDD a lot of the times childhood unhealed trauma around not having father figures that protected them as little girls tend to gravitate towards “ bad boys “ and so they misread and confuse the power control and fake confidence they portray, with a man that has the potential to provide protection. I believe that women intrinsically want a good, gentle man that can also make her feel protected.
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Toxic love can be emotionally draining and harmful to your overall well-being. It's important to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship, such as constant criticism, manipulation, or lack of respect. Remember, you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, and respect. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and consider seeking professional help if needed. Take care of yourself and prioritize your happiness. You deserve a healthy and fulfilling love. ❤️
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Self compassion is a beautiful gift to ourselves. This podcast is so raw and full of human softness, definitely the reason why we all attract the people that we create relationships with because we do see our brokenness in them. Being truly authentic and naked emotionally takes courage. Nobody wants to be judged and not like because we are who we are. The feeling of being safe and home with someone is truly amazing yet it takes vulnerability and compassionate acceptance to arrive home. I appreciate both your openness and vulnerability as the leaders and authority navigating this topic. I feel that both your life experiences creates volumes impacting us today ❤️. Grateful to both of you. Gracias!🙏
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@lewishowes
1 month ago
Thanks to Matthew for sharing his wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again youtube.com/lewishowes
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