ImmersiveAmbientModecolor: #e4dcc0 (color 1)
Video Format : 22 (720p) openh264 ( https://github.com/cisco/openh264) mp4a.40.2 | 44100Hz
Audio Format: Opus - Normalized audio
PokeTubeEncryptID: 39d1ef8b06c4f316244ef48984e9ddaa89387746850c24f518e1bbc4441a77eb1ce6223eb9c802ab523a87766e815cc1
Proxy : eu-proxy.poketube.fun - refresh the page to change the proxy location
Date : 1715866961036 - unknown on Apple WebKit
Mystery text : YkVMZkhzMWthUUEgaSAgbG92ICB1IGV1LXByb3h5LnBva2V0dWJlLmZ1bg==
143 : true
186,409 Views • May 3, 2023 • Click to toggle off description
FURTHER READING
You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/41PS8F3
“The moment babies are born, their minds are dominated by a powerful implicit question: What do I need to do in order to be loved? We have to remember that babies are entirely at the mercy of the prevailing environment, and therefore, knowing what exactly the people in this environment want from them in exchange for keeping them alive is central to their very survival. Furthermore, how the question is answered will shape their entire personality and sense of adult priorities; who we are is predominantly the result of what we needed to do to capture and sustain the interest of the people who put us on the earth…”
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
bit.ly/TSOLself
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/
X: twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife
Instagram: www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-bu…
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Léon Moh-Cah
Na Na Na Studio
nananastudio.com/
Title animation produced in collaboration with
Graeme Probert
www.gpmotion.co.uk
Views : 186,409
Genre: Education
Date of upload: May 3, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.951 (105/8,550 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-04-28T16:47:20.752231Z
See in json
YouTube Comments - 454 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Everyone damaged by their parents need to watch this video once or twice a week as a self healing therapy.
671 |
I've met several parents who have identified the flaws in their parents' approach to parenting and are breaking the cycle to make sure their kids are valued for who they are not what they do. I have utmost respect for those people who work on themselves so they don't screw up their kids (too much).
83 |
I had the strangest combination of the last two - my parents, mother especially, always pushed me to be the best at any academic skill and would get boiling mad if I had any blemish on my record. However, they also made even the tiniest faults or goofs I made public knowledge and attracted ridicule on me. My most recent example of this would be - I finished my phd, and my mother told me that a cousin called to congratulate her and tell her she should be proud; she made sure to tell me to my face that she doesn't think there is anything there to be proud of, because there are people with less school who make more money. Also, I was told to steer clear of girls at all costs since they would impact my academic success...but when my formal education was over, a big objection to me as a man was why I still don't have children. Basically, I was set up to fail from the start. Thank heavens for therapy.
314 |
I do not know how to describe in words my gratefulness and love for all the people behind this channel. School of life has saved my life .
79 |
My mother gave me wonderful, unconditional, nuturing love. My father gave me emotional neglect and emotional abuse. I have Complex PTSD from that, but I am working on it.
53 |
I don't wanna have kids, i just want me baby version to be cared by me, to be loved by me, to be calmed by me.
7 |
Is there a fourth one? Because I felt mostly ignored. If I succeeded, it seemed irrelevant, as well if I failed. No one wanted anything, but I also never felt loved. I always felt like invisible.
25 |
In 2nd grade, the teacher and a few of us students had an aside impromptu discussion. “Your parents love you,” she said to us. In my heart, I knew mine didn’t.
64 |
At around 56 I first realized my siblings desperately want me to fail, still to this day. My parents want me to fail and succeed. At 14 I knew I had to get away from them but didn’t yet know why.
People talk a lot about privilege now. White privilege, pretty privilege, rich privilege, etc. I think there really is only one privilege and that is the privilege of a fortunate childhood. Nothing to do with color, money, looks, etc. If you were lucky enough to have a solid childhood, you have a huge leg up on others.
280 |
Or Number 4: Succeed, Fail, or Do Not Much of Anything, and still not get love.
27 |
The number one thing that made me accept my parents for who they were/are, was becoming a parent myself. You quickly realize that you are winging it a bit, so they must have as well. You quickly realize that you do your best as a parent, but make mistakes sometimes. One day it hits you that your parents were once immature and occasionally irresponsible young adults, when they had you.
Suddenly the standard, to which my teenage and young adult self held my parents to, changed dramatically. This continues for YEARS. As your child grows, you also grow, and your perception changes.
My parents weren’t perfect. Sometimes my father may have said something unkind. My mother gave me an unhealthy idealized view of the world. Father’s drinking was often a problem, but so was mom’s reaction to it. You know what they have been perfect with though? When the shiz really hit the fan in my life, they were/are there. Whether listening to me whine on the phone, or showing up to a family court date for support....they demonstrate their love.
It gives me some relief, knowing that when I don’t know what to do, or how to help my child, I can’t go wrong, by simply loving them. THAT is success, as a parent for me.
226 |
Both my parents wanted us kids to fail even as adults - so sad I was shocked to see this in the video I thought I was alone
20 |
As a former child in the third category, this video could have saved me years of rumination and overthinking. I finally got to this conclussion (about my parents) on my own, but I never had validation from others, and as a person without naturally acquired self esteem o confidence is hard to move on without validation. I mean, I considered that "I rested my case" on this just by my mid 30's. When the inner compass is that broken, self doubt will make any advancement in the healing journey MUCH slower.
I am very happy that this is available for many others coming to terms with their upbringing. For me this knowledge felt like the true end of adolescense.
40 |
I can't express my true emotions in front of my father.
One day expressed anger and it felt so good.
5 |
I dunno in what way I am damaged, and this is too public for me, but it’s relatable. Oddly specific. Specially the one which is a merger between two and three. This video is like therapy to me. And I see that I am not alone.
23 |
I agree. Number 1 is the best place to be as a parent. Love your kids as they are. I’ve had this conversation with my husband. It’s why I want to raise my son on Mister Rogers. He had a lot of content talking about that. I grew up with parents that were between 2 and 3, and I hated life so much at one point. It’s taken years for me to heal and find my own way. The only right thing they ever did for me was baptize me Catholic. It’s been my home for the last 3 years, and the Church has been crucial in helping me heal. From everything I’ve learned there, I came to the conclusion that children need to be accepted as they are. So that’s my plan with my son.
56 |
My brother and I had to be perfect. Yet, any time I tried to achieve something, my dad used to say, "don't you get too big for your boots young lady". At the same time, he used to go mad if my grades weren't excellent or if a teacher said they had found me chewing gum in class. In his eyes, I had brought shame on the family. I went to university, partly to prove my dad wrong when he said that I was too thick to get a degree. Now, I am chronically ill, living on disability benefits.
51 |
Mostly everyone in the comments are sharing how they were mistreated in their childhood. Which is sad and I know the urge to share it.
But please can we take a moment with ourselves and make a promise that we will never do the dame mistakes we think our parents did. And see what changes we can make in our personal capacity.
3 |
What does it mean if my parents weren't interested in me inherently, didn't care if I succeeded at anything, and didn't care if I was struggling/failing?
16 |
@user-nm6dr4uy3d
1 year ago
I feel like most parents see their child as an extension of themselves. Should the child do something silly, rude or reckless, they see that as a reflection of themselves as parents and people. Allowing another person to make their own mistakes takes a cool-headed and forgiving attitude.
418 |