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Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Jan 18, 2024 ^^
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YouTube Comments - 76 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
I was recently told it was "bleak" that I was considering buying meal replacement drinks so that I can actually get nutrition in a day. But I also have an ED-ed past, and it's really triggering sometimes to be in burnout and not be able to even walk to the kitchen for days. Thank you for that "fed is best" tip, it makes me feel a lot better about doing what I need to do to make sure I'm eating. :)
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Even if I'm not autistic, I've still made so many accommodations to my life that help so much---the biggest one being a low-demand lifestyle. I'm in the process of leaving school to do my special interest full-time (drawing and painting and woodworking and writing) while working 15 hours a week at the public library, in the back room where I am mostly alone. I also visit my family every day, because being around them just resets any sort of discomfort or anxiety I've had that day; they're my comfort people. Basically I have a routine of things I'm very comfortable with, which allows me to live inside my body more, if that makes sense. I don't have to always be on alert! It's wonderful. And I walk everywhere, which gives me room and time to stim the way I want to without feeling self-conscious (especially in overcast weather when no one else is out). I try not to have more than those three things in my day---creative time, work, and family---though if I have to do another thing, like go grocery shopping, I can replace one of the three slots with that thing. I have a little decision paralysis in those moments, like 'what can I afford to replace today', but it's not as bad as trying to squeeze it into 20 minutes between time slots. Every once in a while I'll try something out of my comfort zone so I don't forget my social skills, but I feel like I can choose situations I don't feel too anxious about now, instead of forcing my self to go to class. The only person I'm disappointing is myself, or people who will understand and not judge me. Self-imposed obligation is where it's at.
Also I relate so much to the way you can't form an opinion on something until you hear other people's opinions. It's like I just see everything as relatively neutral until someone else points out how good or bad it is. That's what happened with Marvel movies. I'd probably still be going to the theater for them if my friends hadn't pointed out how bad they were getting. And now I totally agree. I might have gotten there on my own eventually, but I wouldn't have been able to pinpoint exactly what was wrong đ
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5:57 As soon as you said, âoh my god it was meltdownsâ, I had the exact same realization about all the times I ended up in tears while trying to get dressed as a tween. I had always attributed it to body image issues, but looking back it was more that I couldnât get my clothes to âfeel rightâ. I was recently diagnosed at 30 and still have a long way to go when it comes to accommodating my sensory issues in my wardrobe, but after watching this I have hope that itâs possible, so thank you!
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I was raised as a macho man and I was diagnosed at 45 and masked heavily. Since then I have been doing my best to pay attention to what my body says in every situation and it is hard to relearn listening to myself. In my process finding different things my stress level has dropped off considerably. Being 46 now, I feel like I have to do this or it could cause a heart attack from stress.
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I try to accommodate myself by having as little contact with people as possible and avoiding any change in routine. I aim for pretty much every day to be the same, In general I use avoidance a great deal, particularly to deal with anything that might cause anxiety or OCD-type issues. While these strategies can reduce stress they can also mean that you're a low candidate for support because it's thought that you are "coping" and usually someone needs to be seen as in "crisis" before they get any help. The fact that someone needs to engage in avoidance shows there is a problem and that support would be helpful rather than waiting for a crisis to occur.
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I'm just beginning, at the age of forty, learning how to appropriately accommodate myself and my needs. It's a daunting process to put it mildly, having to unlearn a lot of neurotypical expectations I've been putting on myself my entire life and try to unlearn all the maladaptive behaviors that have been making me chronically ill my entire life.
I've begun replacing my wardrobe with sensory safe clothing for me. Finding furniture that allows me to accommodate my vestibular hyposensitivy, finding ways to curate my auditory and visual environment in my home, etc.
I just recently hopped on the noise cancelling headphones train and it was an absolute revelation. I need to try the Flare Calmers. My auditory hypersensitivities have been the greatest source of chronic pain in my life so finding workarounds for that has been life changing.
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Oh wow i do the same the pockets! The phone one pocket, wallet in the other. I usually buy ready-made meals, which my coworkers make fun of me for, but like it keeps me fed so i don't care. Their teasing does hurt me though sometimes.
I don't have a diagnosis but i relate to all the issues you've found accomodations to.
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Yes, the pockets thing. I do that. This is the reason I hate switching pants or jacket. I basically have one outdoors outfit for "summer" and one for "winter". When I mess this up, by buying a new pair of jeans or something, I always forget mission critical things like my wallet or my keys at home. Which inevitably ruins my day. Spring and fall are the worst, because then I have to constantly switch back and forth between my two sets of outfits.
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Thank you for this. My self-accommodation chiefly involves buying products for my deep-cleaning rituals.
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Had to smile when you got to that explanation of the demands of today's society and said "I hope that makes sense." That part of the video made perfect sense to me. I've always felt inadequate in keeping up with all the things you're "supposed" to do in adult life. Go to work, complete chores, have a social life, have a romantic partner, exercise, prepare meals, get adequate sleep, etc. Often times I come home from work and I don't have the energy to DO anything else and it's always made me feel like I'm not good enough. Figuring out that I'm autistic and that the barriers I face are "real" has been relieving for me. I think it helps me be kinder to myself and not always worry about what's "wrong" with me
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On the topic of headphones, I collect high-fidelity wired headphones as my hobby and getting a 700 dollar pair of wireless anc headphones was a game changer for going out in public. They don't have the best anc or even that many bells and whistles, but the sheer quality of the audio was worth the purchase. To me it's crucial to have a pair of really good sounding headphones rather than a pair that focuses too hard on anc and touch features. I'm not the norm of course, I'm someone that has spent 3,000 on a single pair of wired headphones just to show how insane I am about the hobby. I just think other neurodivergent people that love music should consider getting something that really engages them with the music they love (if they can afford it of course). Sound quality can really make a difference on the listener.
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I think I've done some of the same things you do even before I realised I'm autistic - I wear earplugs to sleep because the noise from the road is too much. I've gradually allowed myself to wear comfier clothes & stop worrying about looking different to other people. I hope once I'm diagnosed (hopefully this year some time) I'll be able to allow myself more accommodations - my inner critic is very loud.
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Instead of noise cancelling headphones, have you considered electronic earmuffs instead? Basically, they are like high-quality safety earmuffs (generally much more comfortable than cheap hardware store earmuffs), except each ear cup has a speaker on the inside and a microphone on the outside. The microphones/speaker pairs will allow you to control any sounds or noises under ~80dB, but will cut out anything over that threshold (like a gunshot - these are very popular with shooters and hunters). Another added virtue of having the microphone/speaker pairs is that all conversation/anything you want to listen to will be projected into your ear from an optimal position every time and you can control the volume to suit the environment or conversation as needed. When turned off they just deaden the world around you just enough without completely isolating you, and when turned right up you can hear every tiny little nature sound around you, which can be nice if you need to focus on something like birds in a tree instead of your brain.
I thought they were just going to be an overpriced gimmick at first, but since trying them I now own 5 pairs. 3M Peltor Protac or Sporttac are my preferred makes.
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So many things I struggle with I am learning from this community are actually things that others deal with too. Thank you for the suggestions and the permission to accommodate ourselves.
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I keep all the stuff that I carry every day in the same place also. It is funny you mentioned feeling your pockets. I do the same thing at my doorway. Most important is keys - I am afraid of getting locked out. Hotel key cards cause a bit of anxiety because I put them in my wallet. So, I have to look inside my wallet before closing the door.
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I totally hear you about the "high demand lifestyle" that most people live today and how Autistic and other neurodivergent people may have a difficult time keeping up. I understand this as a dyspraxic person.
I've actually done quite a bit of research on pace of life and work in society and though I could say volumes about it, I'll just suffice to say that a) you're right, it's not a natural or healthy way for anyone to live, neurodivergent or otherwise, and b) the hyper-accelerated pace of the modern world is to a great extent, an outcome of how society is structured and how decisions are made. It's not a natural intractable externality of modernity. This it could be at least to some extent amenable to structural and economic reforms. I've always wished there were more widespread critical consciousness of this issue.
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I'm a new content creator and I understand how much work it is to make content. It's so much hard work and when we talk about these things it's frustrating because it's about real and important things that affect our mental health. This video is great! I love to hear about what other people have learned and the changes they are going through in life.
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YouTube should pay you!! You hit the nail on the head. Also, great video and thanks for talking about noise canceling headphones! I think theyâve saved my life recently. ⤠love your channel.
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I think I am on the spectrum but I am frightened of speaking with a mental health Dr as in the past they labelled me as emotionally Unstable instead of realising I suffer from childhood CPTSD. Excellent video. Very relatableđ¤
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@coololi07
3 months ago
'its so hard to figure out what the sensory issue is cos I've just been ignoring everything for years' yeah that sentence pretty much sums up my life right now. Literally dont have the internal language to know what on earth is going wrong
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