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Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Mar 21, 2024 ^^
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YouTube Comments - 49 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Imagine sitting on a bus seat, keeping your arms in, your body tight, and your legs pressed tightly together, so you don't accidentally bump into the person next to you. Then all of a sudden, someone says to you "The person next to you got off three stops ago." When you realise you're autistic, and everyone else around you is going to treat you like they've always treated you, regardless of whether you relax your rigid mask of neurotypicality, it can be a tremendous relief to relax. The first person that needs to make appropriate accommodations for us, is ourselves. When you know you're autistic, and you start to be aware of the things that are harder or easier for you due to that, it's absolutely normal to readjust how we go about things. And yes, sometimes that means we "seem more autistic". It's not us putting on an act of being more autistic, it's us putting on LESS of an act of being neurotypical.
That's how I see it at least - but hey, if you've heard one autistic person's take, you've heard one autistic person's take :D
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Also a people pleaser and have had the same of people who I would bend over backwards for to do stuff complain, invalidate and outright reject me being autistic and adhd. They would ask "why are you like this" and I would say its because my autism or adhd makes things more difficult and then you get "Oh it's always something, normal people just deal with it, everyone's a lil bit autistic". Apparently people dont like you answering their rhetorical questions. Another thing I've had is people suggest things to try and they are things I know wont work through experance or thinking about it a lot and when I respond with "that won't work or thats unhelpful" I get "you don't try" or "Oh well I'm always wrong then arn't I". People basically take us for granted and as soon as we try to advocate for our autonomy or mental wellbeing, we are "difficult", "not actually neurodivergent", "jumping on a trend" etc
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I was having so many mental health issues I ended up in a psych unit where the psychiatrist gave me the working diagnosis within 10 minutes. Everyone close to me all suspected autism apart from one, me! I had the official assessment and diagnosis accelerated by the psychiatrist. Since then I have mentioned I might have ADHD and when I mentioned this to my psychiatrist her response was, āYou mean youāve only just realised?ā I have these conditions and Iāve been unknowingly broadcasting without realising!
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I definitely identify with the idea that since identifying that I'm autistic I no longer make myself do the things that I find overwhelming that I thought I had to do. Recently I got overwhelmed and someone asked if my nervous system gets so overwhelmed because I've created such a safe and comfortable environment for myself. I found that pretty offensive, as I've only allowed myself to feel safe since identifying that I'm autistic. My nervous system reacts like an autistic person's nervous system, and has done so all of my life because I've been autistic all of my life. It's only now that I know I'm autistic that I have the tools to manage it.
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I do the leg bounce too, it drives people around me nuts lol. I've been unmasking more and more though and fortunately I've only gotten a few comments. It's weird, though, I keep surprising myself with new behaviour. Like I'll get stressed out and then suddenly I'm rocking back and forth and I'm like "Okay, this is new... and just feels right?" and now suddenly I'm coping with a situation that I would normally have struggled with. It's wonderful (and frustrating) to learn that all this time, the struggles had names.
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I have experienced the same thing. I feel like I can do things or not now. Eye contact - before, I tried to force that but now I don't. Stimming - I don't care, I just do it now.
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I got my diagnosis in 2021 at age 50. ONE person that was in my life before diagnosis is still here now. My family, my partner of 23 years, all our friends - every one of them apparently has more psychological training than the INSTITUTION that diagnosed meā¦because their response was āYouāre not autisticā and to reject me. I am on my own trying to figure all of this out because the closest therapist that has any autism training is 2 hours away from where I live now. If it wasnāt for you and the other autistic people hereā¦I firmly believe I would not be alive today. 9 months after diagnosis, I overdosed on my prescription meds and should have died. March 2022. So, thank you. Yāall are keeping me alive and fighting to have a better life experience.
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Regarding āpeople pleasingā, I did it to the extreme, for most of my life. In my early thirties, I realized that I never got anything out of it. It was totally one-sided. I stopped. My life isnāt better, but I have more me time.
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I'm still pretty new to my diagnosis, but I don't feel like a whole lot has changed for me other than taking some naps because I know they're necessary for my brain. I don't feel like I'm masking at home, but then it never felt like it did so it's hard to say.
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Hi, Dana,
I was diagnosed in 2022, at the age of 48. I have been through a similar emotional journey to what you have gone through: it's just that mine took a little longer!
I've felt off-key and alienated since early childhood, when I first entered the social world. These feelings developed into confusion, depression, anxiety and psychosis, eventuating in my being sectioned in my 30's. I was disagnosed variously with depression, personality disorder and, at one time, sociopathy.
I knew these were all wrong, by the fact that counselling, group therapy and medications were either not working or causing more chaos. Once I had the correct diagnosis, my true personality slowly fell into place and I stopped with all the people-pleasing/passive-aggressive crap.
I spend 15 years of my life out of work, which could have been avoided had I had the correct diagnosis and guidance from childhood. I am becoming the type of the person that I am comfortable with, and have stopping gaslighting myself and undermining my own confidence.
Having undiagnosed ASD is a very dangerous place to be. I got out of this place by turning my back on the mental health services that failed me and paying for a proper assessment by professionals who knew what they were doing. There is a decent life on the other side, but you may well have to fight for it.
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Getting more autistic after diagnosis. 2 reason I see for this
1) You just put their focus on autistic traits you may display
2) You relax more allowing more autistic traits to show, let the mask relax a bit more
This just what I notice when I tell some I'm on the spectrum.
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āI have a self to beā š©µ
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Tangles for the win! šš¦š„
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Just got my diagnosis and this was helpful, I have been starting to act different and getting imposter syndrome a bit but I'm not really 'trying' to do anything other than try to stop telling myself to shut up and be quiet all the time. Anyway good video.
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Is this a re-upload?
Yeah, I was a leg bouncer too. Once my leg started bouncing I couldn't stop. This happened usually when at school sitting at a desk. Guess it was my way of relieving stress of just being there?
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I was enjoying your fidget noises throughout the video :)
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2:36, I remember being envious of my firstborn, around age six. On the playground, heād walk up to a kid he didnāt know, and start playing, like theyād known each other, forever. Iād sit there, and think, āI wish I could do thatā. But finally realizing the things Iād done for yearsā¦were autistic. š
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Yes, absolutely. Introspection has really helped me become a better person since diagnosis. I finally feel that I know myself.
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You are amazing and you are unmasking. Itās so healthy for youšøš
You are doing so Well!
I was diagnosed with BPD and have been in the horrible system on various drugs for over 10 years.
Now at age 32 Im finally finding out Im autistic.
I was very angry too.
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@TubeWusel
1 month ago
When you have to hide how you function in order to survive, relearning your natural way is the opposite of acting - it's liberating your real self.
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