@Mea_zzz

1 year ago

I'm just gonna make a POV for no reason PT 1 It's funny how at a time, I was a little girl. I was playing with dolls and watching heroes on TV. Look at me now. I have drastic eyebags and nothing but sweat surrounding my body. I've been drowning in this madness ever since I was a teenager, and it's ridiculous. I can't get up, and feel myself smile. I have to constantly feel the urge to punch someone in the face. Like I'm controlled by someone behind a screen. I wake up one day, scared and afraid for my life. That's not normal. I wake up one day, having the thought of who's gonna come after me. That's not normal. I fight, I plead, and I beg. It doesn't help. I'm still yet the same as every other hero in this world. I desperately search for the meaning of 'harmless'. I can't find it. I'm just nothing besides a worthless follower that people praise. I hate it. !BEEP! !BEEP! !BEEP! - "God, shut the f*ck up!" I scream, tossing my pillow at the plastic, loud alarm on my nightstand. Another day, another scar. Groaning from exhaustion, I slowly use my arms to lift myself out of bed. I hate it. I can feel my itchy hair flop onto my shoulders by lifting my arms up one by one. A sigh escapes from my mouth, flipping my blanket off of my shaky body; Stepping into my slippers, hearing the floors creak as I walk to the bathroom. My bed isn't made, but I don't have time. It's 6 am, and I'm yet still looking a mess. I'm not even in my suit yet. Idiot. Walking into the chilled bathroom is like a nightmare. I'm freezing, holding my hands on my shoulders. Wearing a tank top was not a good idea. This Mournful morning is not going well. Finally, after an hour of getting myself together I put my tight, strechy suit on. I'm not prepared, or ready. I'm scared I'll die today, but a hero never is afraid. They have to push through. Atleast, thats what I think. Each leg going in feels like putting your clothes on after getting out the shower. Sticky. Fixing up my hair, the floor creaks some more as I run to the front door. Throwing my shoes on, and tightening the laces, I can feel myself yawn. 7:10.. God I hate being a hero. I would be able to sleep in until 1 everyday. I only got an hour of sleep god damn it. I swear to god I'm gonna kill a villian today. I'm pissed, and ashamed I feel so aggravated over saving the world. Selfish. That's too bad though. I can't save every life, and thats not my problem. I'm sick and tired of having to fly around all day, saving person after person. Who told them to walk into a villian. Fight for yourself, you stupid b*tch. Jesus christ I'm gonna go insane. PT 2 What an 'amazing' day. The looks people give me as I pass by makes me wanna gag. Stop praising a person who has more flaws than anybody else. Stop praising me. STOP IT. Oh my god I hate it. My drained eyes give them a side eye with a faded smile. You can clearly tell I don't wanna be here right now. I can see kids holding.. plushies of me. Most admire my existence, and aspire to be me. I don't understand. Why? Why do you want to be someone that risks their life for the sake of the world? You sacrifice yourself because the world tells you to. That's not fair, and people can't seem to understand that. I put myself on the line for innocent kids like that, and it's so hard to imagine how they would feel if they knew the true thoughts that I have. Killing myself for a few primary kids isn't the worst, but it still hurts. The breeze fills my mouth as I pass large office buildings, waving at adults looking through the windows. I'm surprised even elders respect someone like me. You'd expect them to not beleive in such unrealistic human beings, but apparently they do. It's kinda confusing. They're just like me. Tired, focused, probably rotting. But there's something that pulls our roles apart. They can't fly, or put on a flashy suit to dress to impress. They sit in a chair, and upload files on a computer. I would've dreamed to be that way honestly. I would get to relax, enjoy myself. But I can't do that right now. That's what pisses me off, a lot. I can't even sit down without getting a cal- !BEEP! !BEEP! Speaking of which, I'm getting an emergency call from my guard. It's unusual for her to call at a time like this. Especially when it's only 8:30. I press my thumb against my belt, answering the annoying, beeping ringtone. "CHARLOTTE, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" The screeching voice shouts. I pause for a second. She said my name instead of 'Starlight'. That's not good. Why out of all times does this have to be so serious, Jayla uses my real name? I really can't deal with this right now. I reply with a mumbling voice, "What's wrong JJ?" Please, like thats gonna help the situation at all. I shouldn't be asking whats wrong, I should know whats wrong. Someone's in danger. F*ck.

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