@xmoderkingd

1 week ago

Everyday, I tell myself, "I can do better". I avoid one problem today, but it hunts me tomorrow. The past has threw grudges into my head that when I try to forget, I can only remember. The more I try and tackle it, the more it tries to consume me, for I'm merely a smaller part of something much larger. When I try acknowledging my actions, one part of my mind thinks otherwise, and that confusion throws me off-balance. Am I someone who deserves life?, what am I doing wrong?, is life even.. what I thought it was? Anyway, I knew Suicide wasn't the answer, and when it came in-between life or death, life really is something I had to be patient with., no matter what happened, because a book doesn't end halfway. When I wanted to be someone/something that stood out from others, I knew there was someone who thought the same. Everything I did, I knew someone had already done, and I no-longer feel special, but feel as if I'm just an ant, following in another ant's footsteps, headed toward the same miserable path, with the end of the road being death's door. No-matter what I accomplish, I'll never find what I truly want, everything's just canon at one point. I have but no choice to accept this reality, since I can't live the impossible, and wait for death to come to me, that's just Life. Everything I'm saying right now, no one cares, and it's not like it'll change my problems, it'll only cause more. Hate me, though the both of us are of the same species and are both headed toward what's unknown. Let's pretend this never happened, laugh, drink and eat, influence others, keep our thoughts to ourselves, and die with no one in our debt., let them figure it out themselves, and they'll repeat the endless loop, just as our mother and father hoped to do for us. Rather keep it peaceful, than let them hurt their selves, only to blame others around them for the less. Why?, Because it's hopeless... I'm glad I'm not Immortal because I won't get to see another sad ending. -Moder

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