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751,097 Views ⢠Premiered Nov 14, 2022 ⢠Click to toggle off description
www.patrickteahantherapy.com/offerings/#membership
Topics covered in this video: decisions, decide, control, controlling, paralysis, childhood trauma, therapy, psychology, healing, inner child, adulting, toxic parents, security, toxic family system, ifs, self-healing, journalling ,toxic relationships, triggers, childhood trauma, inner child, inner child work, c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, assertion, mind reading, moods, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, NPD, BPD, dysfunctional family
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
2:52 Is it From Childhood Trauma?
4:35 Connect With Me
5:39 Childhood Trauma Categories
5:49 Childhood Trauma Categories - #1 Neglect
6:53 Childhood Trauma Categories - #2 Criticism and Contempt
7:55 Childhood Trauma Categories - #3 Dysfunctional Parent Modeling
17:53 Jill's Core Beliefs
18:03 Jill's Core Beliefs - #1 Shame
18:37 Jill's Core Beliefs - #2 Control
19:59 Jill's Core Beliefs - #3 Security
23:05 How to Work on It
23:34 How to Work on It - What is your decision making process?
24:19 How to Work on It - What is the fear?
24:48 How to Work on It - Is the fear from Childhood Trauma?
25:54 How to Work on It - What's needed for security?
27:12 Final Thoughts
29:21 Outro
Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
âĄď¸ linktr.ee/patrickteahan
MUSIC IS BY - Chris Haugen - Ibiza Dream
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â ď¸ Disclaimer
My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.
If you are, or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255
Views : 751,097
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Premiered Nov 14, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.949 (443/34,451 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-15T18:49:02.626871Z
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YouTube Comments - 2,034 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Not having our feelings validated as a child leads us to learn that nothing we feel or want is correct, so why would we feel confident making decisions? I'm just starting to dig into this with my own therapist
1.5K |
Tell yourself, "I made the best decision that I could make at that time," for every decision you have made in life. ( Let that stress go.) â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
387 |
This really hit home because I hadn't realised quite how neurotic I was to research things for days/weeks before decisions. At some point enough is enough.
1.2K |
I'm 42 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Thanks mom and dad.
1.5K |
All of the factors describe my parents so well but what affected me the most was being made to feel like I couldnât make mistakes. My parents always chastised me. Instead of telling me to learn from them, theyâd tell me how I shouldâve foreseen the problem or how I shouldâve been smarter enough to avoid it. It literally set me up to be scared of making decisions.
2.6K |
"The most depressing thing that can affect a person's life is the unfulfilled life of their parents". This struck so strongly. I would love to figure out how to stop being so affected. The security bit is also very difficult for the larger choices.
834 |
Wow, never realized parents not helping the kids could be classified as neglect. From an immigrant family, it was normal that my parents didn't understand how things worked here and couldn't help, and they were also working all the time. But they didn't even try to be honest - never took me to any after school programs or signed me up for any sports or anything enriching. The one time I convinced them to let me sing on the schools xmas album cuz I was one of several who got chosen by our choir teacher - they came to pick me back up very early, broke up the taping of it, and took me out of there as if something was wrong. Nothing was wrong, we were all just singing. They were total a-holes to be honest, they always ruined anything good I tried to do for myself. I remember sitting in my room in the evening trying to do my HW, and many times just straight bawling because I was so frustrated and didn't understand and had nobody to help me. I learned from an early age I couldn't ask them for anything, in fact the thought never even occurred to me. So sad.
804 |
His mentioning âseeing life as one false move thatâs finite, thatâs foreverâ really hits home among other things.
577 |
I made an uniformed medical decision for my great grandmother when I was 19.
I was the only one who showed up to the hospital for her even tho I was out of the country. My family laid into me for that decision but according to the doctors the alternative was death.
This was the starting point of my decision to go no contact with my family and while I donât regret going nc, I spent 4 hours trying to buy a flashlight last weekđ
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Iâm a work in progress. Thank you for this easy to understand explanation.
1.2K |
All decisions were treated as "life or death" with intense time pressure to decide--"make up your mind right now or you get nothing." If I made the "wrong" decision, I was verbally degraded. Many decisions were set up to trick me. So, yeah, I have anxiety with decisions.
62 |
I make decisions and I always regret them... My fear is that I always regret my decisions no matter how much I tried to make the right decision... I always think the "other" decision was the correct one
47 |
My mother used to yell at me & get impatient with me because I could never decide anything. Looking back I realize that so many decisions were always made for me, what to eat, what to wear, what to do, that it really is no surprise that I had trouble with it. I still do. I went from an abusive home to an abusive marriage, where again, I had no voice. My needs & wants don't matter & when I do decide something, its my fault when it doesn't turn out right.
566 |
âHopefully we know that weâre being neurotic.â Got straight to the point!
92 |
I was struck with a memory listening to this. My mother would tell me many times that she stayed in her garbage jobs so I would qualify for FAFSA money and other kinds of accessibility opportunities. So I wound up internalizing that I was responsible and needed to be grateful for all the suffering the adults around me went through for my benefit. But dang it they could do responsible things like set up a saving account for my college funds, model working a job that was tolerable or enjoyable, being even vaguely responsible with money so we would be able to afford what mattered. It is not my fault that they were irresponsible and miserable all the time.
244 |
I never realized how much my childhood trauma affected me as an adult. I thought I was crazy.
17 |
It wasn't just childhood trauma for me. Yes, that caused me to be incredibly insecure, indecisive and fearful of regret, but what really hammered it down was that in adulthood, the doom scenarios for decisions always actually played out. And sometimes there weren't even doom scenarios in my head, but things still turned out badly in ways I hadn't even imagined. Most of the decisions I have made in life have had such horrible outcomes and terrible consequences that I just no longer trust my own judgment and am more frozen than ever. My childhood laid the foundation, but adulthood seems to have cemented it. I'm not sure how one crawl out of that hole.
559 |
I also get paralyzed by small and big decisions. Recently I waffled about leaving my stressful job for months. It was a Sunday when I decided to talk to my bf about it. Right before the talk, my sister called asking for advice. She kept waffling and talking herself out of what I thought was the best decision. When we hung up, I decided I couldnât do the same thing. So when I talked to my bf about my job, I stated my reasons why I should quit. He said âsounds goodâ and I said âok Iâll turn in my notice Monday.â And I did. Our convo was all of 10 minutes. It was the right decision and I felt great.
120 |
I related to this so deeply. I have struggled with an inner sense of security my entire life despite having competence, a strong personality and work ethic. I would get to the other side of something and then redirect my sails. Now, approaching 40, I recognize that I could have been successful on any one of those journeys, had I found the courage and faith to get there.
I see people every day who have that courage to put themselves out there. I used to think it was some special gene that I was not fortunate enough to inherit. Now I see strong, confident people as either having grown FROM strong roots, or as having grown strong roots to weather lifeâs challenges.
I think it ultimately requires turning those old, formative voices down and turning your own voice up.
Thank you for your videos. You are so warm, insightful and honest.
45 |
This guy slowly making me realize that every single aspect of my personality is a childhood trauma response đ one video at a time
4 |
@laurenboyd7094
1 year ago
Who else felt personally targeted by the title đ
6.9K |