Views : 3,586,863
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Apr 7, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.87 (3,079/91,620 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-02T20:03:24.978791Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
The woman who died early at 55 and was always nice/never got angry with anyone (or at least never showed it) is why I CRINGE when people say stupid platitudes like, "it costs nothing to be nice." Oh Yes It Does Cost. We just expect people to bear those costs instead of standing up for themselves!!!!!!!!!!!
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My primary doctor kept telling me about my high cortisol levels, which is a direct indicator of stress. He also was my abusive husband's doctor, so he knew where it came from. Finally he said "you can leave, or stay with him and die, and there's nothing I can do to fix that."
Then the specialist that I see for a chronic life-threatening condition said the same thing, without ever meeting him.
By then all four parents had died, so he could no longer use threats against them as a way to keep me from leaving. Right after these conversations, my elderly cat died. I knew that I had to move out, despite being the one paying the mortgage, and I knew he wouldn't feed or medicate the cat if I couldn't take him with me. The day I buried the cat, I started sorting donations and packing for storage.
Freedom is amazing.
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For me, Canadians in particular and world citizens in general, in the aftermath of the COVID years, are experiencing the abandonment by educational, judicial, medical, financial, and governmental institutions AND fear of reprisals if we choose to reveal our authentic selves. This is such an insightful talk. Thanks Gabor.
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46:50 " Stress is not just what happens to us. It's how we process it" -- such a gem to remember
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Just came across this video while scrolling before bedtime, and this may very well be my life-saving grace. I've been suffering with near stroke levels of hypertension for years. On and off meds, doctors can't find root cause (organs are healthy and normal). I have always, as far back as I can remember, internalized my emotions. I have repressed everything from sadness and loneliness to depression and anger. It's time to let it go. It's time to live again.
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For my own reminder and anyone else of this glorious moment
37:06
âWeâre still behaving like little kids who need to attach, who need to be liked, who need to be accepted and approved of at the expense of our authenticityâ
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Yep, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at 21 years old. I remember asking my doctor if this was caused by stress, and he immediately said, âNo, we donât know why you have this.â I knew why I got it. I was raised by a mother with schizophrenia, and part of a high control religion and family. I was basically raised in a pressure cooker, and expected to not only be perfect, but to fix my mother. One day my body broke, at a very young age. I stayed sick for years, because I was expected to meet expectations no matter how many times I ended up hospitalized with my colitis. I didnât go into long term remission until I finally got into a position where I was able to tell everyone to go to hell, and fix their own problems. I still have issues with stress, and not being able to handle a lot of stuff. I still sometimes feel like I am supposed to take on a lot of responsibility for other people, without complaint. Itâs very hard for me to accept that other people think I am a terrible person, because I have chosen to walk away from situations that I cannot fix, but for some reason Iâm expected to kill myself trying.
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I am so proud of myself for finally learning to say no, for prioritising myself, for pushing back negative people and most importantly, for keeping them there. What cancer didn't teach me, my 8yo niece did -- "Why didn't you answer my call," I asked her. "I didn't feel like," she said as if it was most natural thing in the world. I was so happy she's better than me at taking care of herself, and equally happy I finally got it! All my life I had accepted rubbish from everyone, just to not hurt their feelings. And of course, I was always answering their calls.
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@hartmanartsource
11 months ago
My sister sent this to me because she knows that in our family, expectations were high, and non-compliance was punished. We both experienced sexual abuses from non-family members, and simply complied and blamed ourselves. We are now supporting one another and realizing what a generational curse this has been. We are determined to overcome our pasts, and to triumph, even in the autumn of our lives.
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