@silvernickel108

5 months ago

I started liking him in late December 2021, and I liked him up until he asked me out in late May. We dated for a little (cringy first love situation) and I broke it off after like two weeks. He took it really hard and I just didn’t care. We were still friends, and grew even closer later in the year. In that same year’s October, he dated my best friend with my encouragement. It ended after a week. This September I blew up at him, telling him horrible things just because I was angry at myself and didn’t know how to deal with these feelings. He texted me the next day trying to talk about it but I just blew him off. Then we ghosted each other for a few weeks until I finally came to my senses and apologized. I asked him to consider fixing our friendship, and he agreed. That night we were back to normal with hour long calls and easy chatting. But our discussions from then on were few and far apart, and now it’s just radio silence. I think it’s because he likes a new girl named Clara, and for some stupid reason, after over a year, it’s ripping me apart. I know that this is my fault and that I only like him because he doesn’t reciprocate it, but it still hurts. I want to tell him how I feel but I know that it’s a selfish request. He doesn’t owe me anything. Still hurts though. Still hurts. I’ve just reread some of our texts and it just set in how absolutely horrible I was to him. He was the sweetest person and I used him. I even led him on just for validation, just so he would be hung up on me. And then I had the audacity to get mad at him? I’m so lucky to still have him in my life, and I promise to change. Swear on my life.

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