Views : 21,100
Genre: Entertainment
Date of upload: Mar 17, 2024 ^^
Rating : 4.979 (9/1,674 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-04-12T12:04:58.954433Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
It is necessary to "visit" the bad memories once in a while, it serves to remind you to be vigilant, it's like that pair of shoes you find while cleaning out your closet, you forgot that you had them, but decide to wear them next time you went out....and, after an hour of wearing them, all the memories of why those shoes were bad for you came back.
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Having experienced several narcissistic relationships in my life I have learned how to interpret my feelings and understand better what is happening. Want to avoid one of these relationships? The best advice I can give is the very first time a person makes you feel confused, run. The confusion goes along with them telling you they are smarter (better) than you and the confusion on your part is fantasy. Don't believe them. Just run.
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There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
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Raised by a narcissistic mother, I internalized the notion that betrayals of trust, in the forms of psychological or physical assault and battery, was familiar, and somehow to be tolerated and forgiven in a "loving" relationship. As a young man, I got out on my own and was creating a life of self-definition and empowerment when I met, and fell into the clutches of, the malignant narcissist I would eventually marry. Now, 40 years later, divorced for 14 years, I continue (although increasingly less often) to awaken from nightmare memories of the marriage. I have ZERO positive memories of my ex. I am HYPER vigilant of the behavior of any woman I date, and to date, there is no other. I don't want to forget, I just want to be indifferent.
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Last night I had a dream about a narcissist that I avoid. In my dream, I was sitting next to them with a package of cookies. One at a time, they started taking cookies from my package and put them on their plate. Each time they took a cookie they looked straight into my eyes, like defying me to protest. In my dream I wasn't sure about what to do. Eventually I got up, took my package if cookies, and the plate of stolen cookies and walked away. And then I woke up. 😂
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To want to wipe out all the 33 years of my toxic relationship would be to invalidate even more all the things I know I accomplished while being gaslighted, invalidated and painfully minimised. I want to remember that I am good enough and resilient in spite of the person I chose to live with, not because of them.
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I've encountered many people who have criticized me for sitting with what happened, despite explaining that it's good for me. Most of them, I've realized have also suffered parental narcissistic abuse. I refuse to let it deter me; I see their pain and I understand that they aren't in a place where they feel ready, willing, safe, or comfortable exploring their own pain. I just hope they get there.
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Be fearless in healing...To know what gaslighting is means we don't fall for it again. Sitting with the feelings and experiences brings discernment and awareness so we don't end up in a similar predicament again. It builds a suit of armor. ❤ The healing happens when we do the work. Be well and take care.
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I understand what you are saying Dr. Ramani, but I do mourn the trusting and naive lil Erica, and her hope for a mother who would finally see her, tuck her into bed at night, and kiss her forehead and make her feel safe, like she saw her aunt do for her cousins. I mourn that little girl, because she is gone forever, and so is the hope for a mother or father who will ever see her. To me, they never existed, those loving parents that lil Erica hoped for so badly, tried so hard to be perfect for. I know that now, and that is painful. Lil Erica did not deserve that, or those big feelings of disappointment. What I would have given for a chance at a life where I have ever felt safe. All I can do is be that mother for my children. It's all I can do. It will always make me feel sad, I think.
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@sushmayen
1 month ago
Its really shocking to know that good times are also part of the abuse. Because good times are fake and intentional.
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