Your Metabolism Isn’t Broken.
You’re Just Eating More and Moving Less Than You Think...
You don’t ‘kickstart’ your metabolism.
It isn’t a shitty lawnmower—it’s always running.
Here’s what’s actually happening:
❌ You underestimate what you eat—by a lot.
❌ You move less than you think—daily activity matters more than workouts.
❌ You don’t account for becoming a smaller person, which means you need fewer calories.
Your metabolism isn’t holding onto fat.
It adjusts to how much fuel you give it.
🚨 But what about hormones?!
Unless you’ve got a diagnosed condition (and even then, the effect is probably not as huge as you’re made to think), it’s not your hormones...
It’s your behaviour.
Fix it:
✅ Stop pretending calories don’t count.
✅ Eat more protein & fibre, so you’re not constantly starving.
✅ Move more—blink, hoover, take the stairs, bonk, and take a 5-10 minute walk daily.
If all else fails, I present the coma diet...
You burn 60-70% of your calories merely existing.
Breathing, thinking, digesting, staying alive—it all costs energy.
Riddle me this...
❌ Why do people in comas still lose weight?
❌ Why do hospitals feed unconscious patients through a tube?
❌ Why hasn’t the NHS started rolling out ‘metabolism booster’ programs for the unresponsive?
Because your body always burns calories.
Even when you’re doing absolutely nothing.
And I guarantee you, before you depart this planet, you’ll be sold worse.
🏋️🤢🥗
#pushpullhealth #rottenattitude #brokenmetabolism #thecomadiet
1 - 0
Phew…
Thank fu*k that New year, New Me 💩 is over for another year.
🏋️🤢🥗
#pushpullhealth #rottenattitude #thankgoditsfebruary #newyearsameyou #newyearnewme2026
0 - 0
I’d buy me a drink… 🪞👌
Enjoy your weekend.
It's coming home.
Apparently.
1 - 0
You can’t escape your Rotten Health Attitude, but you CAN embrace it.
🏋️🤢🥗
2 - 0
🥺Clients🥺
Double chin?✅
Double thumbs up so you know I’m fun! ✅
If you need accountability or insights into why counting syns, points, or your latest 10-day juice cleanse didn’t stop you from continuing to yo-yo diet...
OR
If you have never found a form of exercise you can stomach, pop down to the gym for coffee.
🔗🍰
2 - 0
🥹Clients saying nice things🥹
I dare you to look me in the eye & tell me you aren't tempted by the prospect of having me comedically pointing at your name!?
Come for coffee.
Embrace your rotten attitude to exercise & nutrition. 🏋️🤢🥗
3 - 0
With a temper as short as her legs, Fiona joins Ben each week to forcefully 'Push Your Health From The Pulls Of Life.'
Expect foul-mouthed narcissistic ramblings on fitness, nutrition, film, and life coaching.
The weekly audio & video expansion on the world-famous 'The Daily Rot' email includes:
Usefully Useless Fitness and Diet advice
Half-arsed film reviews
The exploitation of children.
Nutritious leprechaun-inspired recipes.
Narcissistic wisdom.
Howdy,
I'm Ben, the only 'health' coach who allows you to embrace your Rotten attitude towards exercise and nutrition.
Empowering you to give the finger to Your yo-yo diet and half-arsed exercise routine in JUST 30 Days...
How many times have you tried to improve your health in the past...?
Are you sick of yo-yo-ing from one restrictive diet and hideous exercise plan to the next, begging for it to end so you can slip back into old habits...
Repeating this cycle until you die?
You can count your own reps...
6 February 2024