@hazbinhotelangeldustangst

3 years ago

in august 2020, i was admitted and entered into a mental health program that was at a hospital. or well, supposed to be at one - covid shit happened, you know? it was online. 7 hours a day or some shit, i remember dreading it so fucking much because it felt like a summer school and did absolutely nothing for me mentally other than make life worse. my life was an absolute hell back then. the thing that caused me to even get put into that hospital in the first place was how my mother threw me out of a car and the cops found me. my mother called the cops on me and said i was out of control but then proceeded to throw me out of a moving car and make me walk almost all the way back to my dad's house, over a mile. she was screaming at me, telling me she wished i killed myself and whatnot. the program was shit for me especially because it made me stay in home longer on a shitty zoom call, in the hot summer where i couldn't get away from my mother. however i remember in the program there was this one girl. she was two or so years older than me. you know that everyone in the call thought she was pretty, they'd told her plenty of times. she had all of what someone would look for in a person. i remember, we were all being forced (as usual) to say some weird shit about us, and that time the topic was what music we listen to. she talked about how she listened to Men I Trust quite a bit, for comfort is what I remember. she seemed to really like this band. and now, that i've finally clicked on it and just... listened, after so long of avoiding it because of that; it's actually pretty good, huh. it's appeared so many times in my feed, and i've thought about her each time. a big thanks to her, man... Naomi, if you're out there, you have great music taste. i don't know if you'll see this someday, but i know you were there in that program for a reason like how i was. I hope you're better now, i hope things aren't as bad. I know nearly nothing about you that I can remember, but I know that i can still have hope that you won't ever go back into that program again. i'm glad to be finally here with you all.

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