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28,444 Views ā¢ Mar 13, 2024 ā¢ Click to toggle off description
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YouTube Comments - 285 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
This is exactly me. Extrovert turned introvert....tired of caring more about everyone than they care about me.....tired of drama, constant comparisons (spoken or unspoken), superficiality and bullshit. But happier than ever now because I give to myself what fills me up instead of feeling disappointed by others. Friendship sadly is overrated. I donāt know what to tell Gen Z....they are lonely....most of us can benefit from human connection if itās reliably healthy but thatās so rare to find
61 |
Agreeable people give the benefit of the doubt, and they are loyal. They are more willing to assume blame and responsibility.
52 |
Narcissists can sense agreeable people a mile away, like a SHARK senses blood in the water.
107 |
I grew up with narcissists, so agreeableness and fawning have been my way to survive ever since.
4 |
My sister used to call me a doormat...but she didn't mind using that to her advantage.
31 |
My agreeableness was born from my motherās narcissistic abuse. From there it reverberated through the rest of my life. Feeling the need to earn love. Friends, family, spouse and even my kids had benefited from my agreeableness.
18 |
When I don't agree, I get screamed at, berated and told I'm a bitch
72 |
I think silent treatment could also be used to create agreeableness. My husband uses silent treatment without burst of anger to control me.
23 |
Give them a second chance, AGAIN! That is the mistake we eventually wake up to, hopefully.
30 |
When people in your āfriend groupā in unhappy marriages smile curtly and say that you are a good wife because you are so agreeable - recognize that itās NOT a compliment, itās a clue.
101 |
Agreeable, going along to get along, people-pleasing behaviors are firmly rooted in fear. People can smell fear.
31 |
I am a target of narcissistic people. A lot of what Dr. Ramani has said here matches me, at least at first glance. I think Iāve matured from mostly empathy to discernment, as Iāve aged and especially with the learning of narcissism. This, perhaps, makes it confusing for what narcissists pickup on, from me. Hereās what I mean.
I think I āappearā like I wonāt leave ā but I have, more than once. I think they take my silence as fear, when itās really observance. I think they think that me āstayingā is tolerance, when itās really just a few limited chances, before I ditch. Unfortunately for them, they feel, āHeh, I GOT THIS!ā But then, they become perplexed and itās uh oh time. What they thought I didnāt see and was afraid to address, was taken care of, by my absence. Iām not going to confront them. Thatās a waste of my time. Time Iāll never get back. One I knew was verrry confrontational. So, I knew she was going to measure my empathy, by how confrontational I am. Iām not, so she didnāt see it coming. I will let them spin like a whirling dervish, in absolute delight, as they fantasize about what they think theyāre getting away with and what they assuredly feel they will get away with. Later, they realize they were like the trash taking itself out.
35 |
I think, well I KNOW that my tendency to be agreeable came from my childhood. In order to keep the peace, I knew I had to do all that was expected of me. Good grades, being mostly quiet and respectful, doing my chores, no talking back, etc. The moment I showed the least bit of resistance, it felt like all hell would come raining down on me. Not physical beatings, but it sure did a number on my mental state. For years, I felt like I was walking around on eggshells, trying not to say or do anything to upset the delicate balance of the family. When I was about 17, I started rebelling big time. I had just had enough. That wasn't the best decision I've made, but in my teenage mind, it made sensešāāļøš¤¦āāļø
41 |
OMG! Thank you for this, Dr. Ramani! I finally have the answer to why I've become a "happy hermit" after my divorce from a very complex covert narc. I've always valued my alone time, but for most of my life, I really enjoyed social interaction. Maybe that was because as long as other people were around (and living with us, off and on, for many years), my ex was on his best behavior. Now, five years after our divorce, I definitely still value my friendships (many of them new), I NEED solitude more than ever! I didn't really know why until now.
36 |
Wow! Dr Ramani is the best. Suddenly I see just how much of my agreeableness is a reflection of how unsafe I feel with others. People say I'm sweet like an angel but I always feel tense. I never realized that my sweetness is a shield until now. Thank you Dr Ramani
32 |
Being agreeable with narcissists does not help. Because itās like youāre agreeing to them abusing and destroying you, which ends up affecting them and then they blame you. And if you agree to their accusations, then youāve got to do more to help them, and then youāre even less able to do that for them. And itās just a vicious cycle where they end up running you into the ground. But then, they also donāt like boundaries or accountability. So thereās really no winning with narcissists.
67 |
Absolutely! Agreeableness/fawning/fear of anger š³
20 |
ā¤ Dr Ramani getting her difficult on. Fighting for herself and us. The best reason in protecting ourselves and others. ā¤
A shining strong example for everyone, she is.š
38 |
Just listening to these videos makes me feel so seen, heard and understood.
12 |
@jadegreen1554
2 months ago
āElements of agreeableness like straightforwardness gets worn away. The capacity to communicate directly is taken away by narcissistic peopleā Dr Ramani.
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