@payton7774

3 years ago

This hurts so bad. I was in a 5-month relationship with the person who thought was my home, my forever. I genuinely was and still am in love with her. she was the only thing that kept me alive at one point. I devoted my time, and my love to her every day. every second I spent with her because I couldn't imagine spending time without her. I loved her too much. after about the third month, stuff when downhill. it didn't feel the same. I didn't feel loved anymore. I felt like I was simply her emotional support. she had many mental health issues and was extremely sensitive and I have never been in a relationship with somebody like that. it was so difficult. I felt like every I did would hurt her because everything I did constantly made her upset. I'm not sure what I could've done better. I burnt myself out because she led me to believe she had nobody else other than me but later on you'll realize that wasn't the case. The breaking point of our relationship was when I brought up an issue and she instead of apologizing for hurting me told me everything I do/did wrong. it was super painful when she did this. it reminded me of the 4-year relationship I had been in before. In that relationship, I was treated the same exact way. maybe I deserve it... I'm not sure. We went on a break after that cause it was clear something had gone wrong between the two of us and she had things she needed to work on alone. The break goes on for about a month until I hit a breaking point with her. I've been hurt so many times and I wasn't willing to tolerate her hurting me anymore. I planned how I would break up with her. I planned to stay with her through Valentine's day because not only did I want to spend it with her but I knew she would want to have that. I poured my heart out to her that day in efforts that maybe shed change and love me again. didn't work... so on 2/17/21, I broke up with her. we called cause we were long-distance, and I told her I said "I don't feel the same way anymore" and then I said "I think I may have lost feelings" cause truly that's how it felt. her hurt that she caused me covered up all my love and suffocated it. she ended the call. texted me and I continued to break it off. we planned to stay friends after the breakup. but she went on to tell around 4 of her friends about our past and recent conversations. her friends called me a mental abuser (mind you I'm 15 how the hell) and toxic. her friend we will call C texted me telling me I'm a hoe and that I was a horrible person for what I had done to ry. what could I have done that was so horrible that she would call me that. I loved her throughout that whole relationship. I was the one pushing for growth and communication I put the effort in to fix my various problems. she hurt me I had to leave her. but nobody saw that they saw me a hurt, heartbroken, lost soul who had just been greatly hurt. mourning the fact that the person they loved hurt them. the person I thought about having kids with, the person I was fully willing to spend my life with. the love of my life broke my heart. I thought she was the one I was in bliss. I let my guard down with the thought of her being my soulmate in mind. I was wrong she wasn't my soulmate. she posted a pic with the caption saying something along the lines that I never deserved her heart. she hurt me again. knowingly. she then showed me screenshots of her friends saying those awful things about me. to show she "was defending me" how are you defending me when you're actively talking to other people about or private conversations. she got a new boyfriend about 4 days ago I think now. I don't know. hearing that hurt but I was the one who asked. she moved on already. had I not meant that much to her when we broke up she told me about how she couldn't ever move on because she was still "in love with me" and during the relationship, she tells me she could never move on that fast after we broke up. but she did. but she moved on. she probably gives him the same love she gave me. I loved you but you hurt me r***. what did I do to deserve this. was it because I told you when you were being mean. was it cause I didn't let you get away with manipulating and gaslighting me? maybe it was. but I hope you know I told you those things for my sake and yours cause I knew if you continued our relationship would end. and here we are, over. if anyone here is around my age (15) and wants to be friends please contact me. here are my socials Insta: godess.wesley Snap: paybear42005 Discord: blakey@/2342 Twitter: bigtitgothgorl my feelings for her were fatal.

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