Views : 2,835,977
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Sep 5, 2018 ^^
Rating : 4.97 (428/56,105 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-09T05:34:24.688278Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
i feel like i messed up so many things this year, i messed up numerous friendships and relationships, i messed up my grades, i messed up my own fucking sanity. I just want the old me back, they were so happy and carefree
edit: ahh i didnt think this would get attention lol i hope everyone is doing okay! this was just a little vent i did, i always felt guilty about the things i messed up but i kinda learned to forgive myself and to know that i can have these types of low times. I hope everyone underneath these comments are doing alright đ
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Venting where nobody will see:
I'm in love with my best friend. Her smile is intoxicating, her laugh always makes me smile, her jokes make me crack up, the way she dances like nobody's watching, the way she know all the words to the songs on the radio, the way she still gives me butterflies when I see her, the way her hair shines in the sun, how I catch her day dreaming all the time, how she makes me the happiest and saddest person in the world, she's just so perfect and it hurts more than anything that we will never be more than friends (coz she's straight) and I keep replying in my head when we were in the bathroom together she was hugging me crying about her boyfriend cheating on her I was comforting her and i felt this urge to kiss her or confess to her but I didn't I just keped hugging her and telling her it's all going to be okay and describing how I imagine our life but changing me to he/him. That's why I'm balling rn coz the line "sorry I didn't kiss you...but its obvious I wanted to " it just hits so hard and I wish that I could be her's. And it hurts me to say I know that she will always have a place in my heart even though I know she will never love me the same way. I just love her so much I hurts but it's worth it for her, anything for her.
Edited: I've just been hiding my fellings for so long I needed to tell someone even if it's the comment section of a youtube video lol
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I loved this cat so much man. Weâve had previous pets before but this lil shit was different. I talked to him about everything when I had no one else to tell we got the mail watched movies together, then I figured out I had to move from Cali to Arizona and we had to leave him :( I didnât wanna give him to the pound and I couldnât find anyone who would take him so I left him with his friends in my old neighborhood. I miss him so much Iâm lonelier than ever and have no one to tell. I just wish I really said bye. I feel so bad.
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To the person who read this,
its been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you donât see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didnât think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all arenât perfect. Itâs painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You donât know how much impact you have in this world and itâs sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, itâs something so simple and little that brightens up someoneâs whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things youâre passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though itâs been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that youâre here, existing, but I donât want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. Itâs heartbreaking that you think youâre not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, itâs not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. Youâre not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me whatâs wrong. Itâs everything, isnât it? Thereâs something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, itâs heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and canât give you a hug, thatâs why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didnât give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didnât give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why canât you now? I know itâs tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Donât let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I wonât let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I wonât let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that thereâs someone looking right back, maybe we canât see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and thatâs enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and youâre still fighting. Youâre so much stronger thank you think, you didnât leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesnât feel like it, when you donât feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, youâre one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because youâre heart is beautiful, thatâs why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each otherâs presence. Youâre a star for me, maybe you donât see it yourself but I can see it, youâre beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and donât let your story get written by others but by yourself, itâs your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of âI hopeâ because I have hope for you even if you donât have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. Thatâs why I hope you wonât see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than donât blame yourself, donât think you werenât enough, donât lower yourself for someone who couldnât see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you donât feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldnât see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesnât know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you arenât accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldnât be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. Youâre safe here with me :). Youâre not useless, youâre not a burden to anyone. Youâre not a problem, youâre human and your feelings are valid. Youâre not being dramatic. Please donât starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know itâs hard. It hurts to see that youâre in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, donât let your emotions control you. Donât let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while youâre reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, youâre reading this and itâs enough for me to be proud of you because youâre here and thatâs all that matters to me. If itâs night for you, go to sleep, I know itâs hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, donât let them fight you. If itâs day for you, donât start it by such sad music, I know itâs impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If itâs evening for you, youâre probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know itâs okay to feel the way you feel. You donât need to be scared, of course youâre overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldnât? But itâs important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed.
And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that youâre so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here.
I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you donât need to fake it anymore, because I canât say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. Youâre worth more than every fucking cent in this world.
You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but donât let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend.
âDusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)â I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you.
In case no one told you and youâre unsure yourself, youâre a good person and I am so happy youâre here.
I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay?
Life for those who couldnât, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like thereâs no other, hug like its your last one.
If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :)
have a good day and great years.
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@mariedirickx2756
3 years ago
this rlly made me cry huh
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