@yamyamless5882

1 year ago

tbh, I fell in love with this girl, like I never had such strong feelings for someone ever, to the point where if she told me she liked something I would try to learn more about it. For example she likes metal music, so I gave it a try, it wasn't my cup of tea but I saw how it made her happy. So I kept listening and asking for recommendations, I really thought that we would eventually start dating but no, I was so stupid. I told my friend that I liked this girl and they said they had someone they liked too, We described them to each other and it turns out it was the same girl. For a few days we were talking about her saying "If one of us ends up dating her, it wouldn't ruin our friendship" but one day they said that they asked the girl to hangout at the mall, sending me pictures of them together and stuff, knowing that I liked her. But I tried to be a supportive friend even though I got so depressed, saying that they'll be cute together, just hyping them up because the girl said that she had feelings for my friend. They eventually started dating and then me and my friend (now ex-friend) got into a argument about me being "friends" with this person we talked about, I told them we weren't friends and that the person just kept talking to me IN SCHOOL not out of school and I didn't want to be mean. They blocked me on everything, I was so angry I sent them a message cough paragraph cough to them on my other Instagram account, they said that we could work it out and I thought that we would become friends again but no they blocked me again and their girlfriend also blocked me too. I just left them alone, even though me and the girl were in the same friend group in the class we had together. I was angry thinking "I did one thing they didn't like and they don't want to be friends anymore, I apologizes so many times" and now that I think about it they said, "we would only get over this with intense consoling" like, what? we had ONE fight in our own whole entire friendship and they end it like this? they didn't think of me as a friend in the first place. After that I went into deep depression where I would cry for days, won't eat or sleep, my parents had to begin me to the hospital because I fainted which also ended up with me being baker act. Even when I was released, I didn't feel any better and that was back in 2021 and even to this day even when I don't mean to think about it, I get a sharp, sad pain in my chest (if that makes sense) going to school is hard because I see them in the hallways every single goddamn day and even when I tell my parents, therapist, or school counselor they say I should ignore them. I wish it was that easy, I wish I could forget about them, forget that it didn't happen, forget that they exist and it was all a dream. But I can't, I gave up on liking anyone until I graduate high school, college, and have a stable job. I would never wish this type of pain on my worst enemy not even them.

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