Views : 377,823
Genre: Nonprofits & Activism
Date of upload: Nov 1, 2021 ^^
Rating : 4.972 (100/14,325 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-08T23:03:32.179342Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
Masking is something people dont even realize they're doing. Someone mentioned it was weird I never looked people in the eyes so I was like "oh I'm not doing this right I guess" and started to force it. (The people complained I was looking into their eyes TOO much šš) and rehearsing conversations because I dont want to be caught in an awkward position.
I did this all before I even knew I was autistic
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I just recently told my mom that I think Iām autistic, Iām hopefully going to get a diagnosis soon! Nobody understands just how hard EVERYTHING is for me, nobody has listened or noticed until now. I could cry thinking about it. Everything makes sense, Iām not crazy and Iām not bad. Iām just different.
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So weird that neurotypicals don't have to think about it. I had to spend over 15 years masking, researching, rehearsing...watching documentaries and movies, reading books and studying social psychology (as this whole thing became one of my special interests) in order to learn it. I'm proud to say I think I do it better than most neurotypicals do. But it was painful, grueling work that took tons of practice, panic attacks and overstimulation (still get those but have to mask it and it's much less now) to achieve. I'm always told how charismatic I am, so I guess my work has paid off. Proud to be neurodivergent!!
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I'm a 25 year old woman who was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder at 12 years old and have medicated as such from ages 12 - now. But now, I'm working with a psychiatrist to get an autism diagnosis because all of the signs are there. I was just pidgeonholed.
I can't even begin to imagine how much easier my life would have been had I gotten the correct diagnosis at age 12, and what that would've meant for my self image and self-knowledge. My life in relation to having autism and having those traits has been incredibly difficult and it is breaking my heart to see how society fails people (but women particularly in this conversation) with autism.
After learning what masking was for the first time, I literally broke down sobbing. I finally understood why I've felt so exhausted, left out, and misunderstood my entire life. Now, I just have to figure out what to do from here. I've struggled in education and jobs and can't seem to find a way to succeed.
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Here's what I learned when I was diagnosed at 27 (I'm female). Neurotypicals usually can tell you're masking at some point in the conversation. But, they interpret that as you hiding something and therfore become suspicious. This is when you get people thinking you are creepy, or unsettling in a dangerous way. Sometimes they think we are on drugs.
I found out after losing the ability to mask that it's actually a positive for me not to mask anyway. I'm less anxious in public now and I disclose to people in situations where I'll be spending a lot of time with them, like work. Ive found that it seems to be disarming to some, but that still others don't believe me and think its me larping because my differences are not very extreme. But they're not my boss so I don't care. I can let myself not care. š
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This made me cry. I'm 67 years old and always felt like I was from another planet. I lived in a bubble that I didn't feel I could break out of to touch human beings. As a child I'd have thoughts that were way beyond my years but I couldn't communicate them, and I was so out of touch with other children, like I said earlier I was an alien who couldn't relate to them at all. I've been awkward, saying things meant one way that people took wrong and were hurt. I would lie awake and cry, because I felt so horrible for the pain I caused. I'd go over conversations in my head over and over changing things, adding new things, trying to make it come out right as if I could somehow fix it. I've been a performing musician, songwriter, and on the road. That was easier as I didnt have to spend time with people, learned the right short answers, and it worked for me. Now I live with family on an acre and write books. It's good to know there was a reason for it all. God knows, He is good.
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I really enjoyed this talk. One thing it made me think of is if society expects more of little girls than of little boys, or just different things. Girls are expected to have better social skills, but boys are expected to be less emotional, for example. I can definitely see some of the issues girls face in being diagnosed with autism being similar to what men masking depression might experience. Not within the scope of the talk exactly, but just made me think
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Our brain don't works like yours. To give an example. When I was 16 I rode the tram to school every morning with a friend. One day we got off and she started throwing up. I didn't know what to do and just pretended nothing was wrong. I ignored it. I didn't even ask if everything was OK. Now I know that if something like this happens you have to show understanding, possibly touch the person and ask if everything is OK. And so there are still everyday things that I have to analyze in my brain in seconds and think what you think is normal in response. My life is a stage, and I learn my lyrics seconds before I perform. Pierre-Paul Maes, Belgium.
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@JanieBee
2 years ago
Boggles my mind how neurotypicals dont have to constantly monitor their body and communication style to come off as "normal"
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