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601,660 Views β’ Dec 13, 2023 β’ Click to toggle off description
In this video I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes Iβve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life.
00:00:00 | Introduction
00:00:49 | Paradox #1: The more choices you have, the less happy you will be
00:07:25 | Paradox #2: Hard choices, easy life
00:11:45 | Paradox #3: What you hate in others, youβre avoiding in yourself
00:17:35 | Paradox #4: The more afraid you are of failing, the more likely you are to fail
00:21:48 | Paradox #5: The more something makes you uncomfortable, the more you should do it
00:26:15 | Paradox #6: The more connected we get, the more isolated we feel
00:31:10 | Paradox #7: The more afraid you are of death, the less you will enjoy life
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Views : 601,660
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Dec 13, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.947 (184/13,812 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-15T18:24:21.686614Z
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YouTube Comments - 466 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
I think the most interesting paradox that you implicitly stated is that:" The more you chase pleasure, the more miserable your life is"
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Paradox of choice: I have Netflix, Disney Plus and Amazon Prime but I can't figure out what to watch and scroll for a good 20 minutes. Then I give up and go to YouTube and scroll for another 10 minutes.
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I like uncomfortable conversations. Genuine uncomfortable conversations bring people together. I am extremely uncomfortable in an environment where everyone is avoiding important and uncomfortable conversations. I'll be sitting there thinking to myself...so we are going pretend that the tension will eventually go away and problems will result itself. π€·ββοΈ.
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π― Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 π Paradox Introduction
- Introduction to the concept of paradoxes, highlighting how they force holding opposing ideas.
- Teasing upcoming discussions on life-changing paradoxes.
00:28 π§ Paradox of Choice
- Explaining the paradox of choice: more options lead to less satisfaction.
- Discussing the impact of abundant opportunities on mental health.
- Connecting the paradox to dating apps and the hidden cost of information overload.
02:49 π€ Freedom through Commitment
- Exploring the idea of freedom through commitment in relationships and life choices.
- Sharing personal experiences of finding liberation in commitment.
- Discussing the misconception of associating freedom solely with having more choices.
07:17 π Hard Choices, Easy Life
- Presenting the concept that hard choices lead to an easier life, and vice versa.
- Discussing the importance of discomfort and taking control of life direction.
- Highlighting the backward law and the relationship between discomfort and comfort.
09:38 π Shallow vs. Deep Happiness
- Differentiating between shallow and deep happiness using dietary choices.
- Discussing the societal association of joy with unhealthy habits.
- Reflecting on personal experiences with lifestyle changes.
12:02 π Projecting Insecurities
- Exploring the psychological concept of projection and its impact on relationships.
- Discussing the tendency to notice disliked traits in others that are denied in oneself.
- Emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in interpersonal dynamics.
13:00 βοΈ Evaluating Judgments
- Discussing the tendency to judge others based on one's own metrics.
- Analyzing the cultural and societal aspects of projecting insecurities.
- Reflecting on the connection between personal judgments and self-perception.
16:55 π¨ Fear of Failure
- Presenting the self-fulfilling prophecy of fearing failure.
- Emphasizing the impact of expectations and pressure on performance.
- Sharing Jeff Bezos's 70% rule and its application to decision-making.
19:16 π Embracing Imperfection
- Encouraging a proactive approach with 70-80% confidence in endeavors.
- Discussing the paralyzing effect of perfectionism.
- Sharing insights on unpredictability in audience reception and the need for adaptation.
21:16 π§ Learning from Imperfection
- The 70% rule acknowledges that perfection is unattainable; optimizing for learning is key.
- Brendan emphasizes the value of learning quickly, even from imperfect actions.
- Recognizing that what seems 100% ready may not be and embracing the opportunity to learn.
21:50 π Embracing Discomfort
- The more uncomfortable something makes you, the more valuable it might be.
- Overcoming the natural tendency to avoid uncomfortable thoughts leads to personal growth.
- Brendan and the host discuss personal experiences with leaning into discomfort.
23:18 π Disproportionate Rewards of Uncommon Actions
- Doing what others fear often brings disproportionate rewards.
- Brendan shares insights on finding valuable opportunities in areas most people avoid.
- The premium attached to doing things others are unwilling to do.
24:18 π§ Fear as a Compass for Passion
- Embracing fear can be a compass for discovering one's passion.
- Stephen Pressfield's concept of "the resistance" and its connection to valuable work.
- Suppressing outlier urges in youth and rediscovering them in adulthood.
26:18 π Paradox of Connectivity and Isolation
- The more connected we become, the more isolated we feel.
- Discussion on the impact of technology and social media on meaningful human connection.
- Friction in communication as a necessary element for genuine connection.
28:45 π Globalized Identities and Frictionless Communication
- New communication mediums remove friction but may make interactions feel emptier.
- People's identities becoming more globalized, detaching from local and personal connections.
- The value of friction in relationships and the concept of investing in connections.
31:19 π Memento Mori: Confronting Fear of Death
- The more afraid of death, the less enjoyment in life.
- Reflecting on mortality as a means to gauge the value and meaning of experiences.
- Personal experiences with death shaping perspectives and the importance of memento mori.
Ma
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Mark, I think you just explained clearly why toxic relationships and trauma bonds are so hard to break: they have so much friction and require so much effort, that they make all other relationships feel frictionless and unimportant in comparison. This suggests that a healthy relationship requires the Goldilocks zone of friction: enough to make it feel valuable, but not so much that it becomes toxic.
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another paradox to consider: the more you think of death, the more you live in the present
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This is a thought provoking and valuable reminder. Subtle shifts in focus and actions have a huge impact on the trajectory of your life. I watched this with my husband and it caused an interesting conversation and deeper connection for us.
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Mark, grateful for each and every of the episodes!! Every time I learn so much and a light bulb π‘ powers on ππΌππΌ
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I really like this format with the 2 in-house hosts discussing ideas. Even thought they're topics Mark mentioned before in his books and videos, they feel more original and engaging than having the same the same 6-8 faces that show up in every podcast out there sharing the same thoughts again and again and again
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This was great, and reasonably lighthearted, just the way I like it.
Shared this with my family.
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09:45 this is exactly how meditation has been for me. Sooooo hard in the beginning as my inner demons lined up to welcome me to my inner world. And now we be chillin and the hidden benefit is that I now see others behavior in a totally different lens. I take the world so much less personally and so much of it is in my new capacity to be with the "rejectable" parts of MYSELF. Very much like you were explaining the shadow. Facing the hard stuff inside myself has changed the entire world, or at least the effect the world has on me.
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Iβve heard of a paradox (not sure if calling it a paradox is appropriate) where if you expect negative outcomes, then that increases the chance of them happening and vice versa for expecting positive outcomes, which Iβm basically gonna shorten to βtry your best to be positiveβ
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Thanks you guys for putting things in perspective..!
These podcasts really help me a lot..
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Great video. I'm LOVING these podcasts, it's so satisfying to just watch you two talking about life. π§π·
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I love all the ones I listen to! This one is one of my favourite! Thank you for doing itβ¨
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I deleted Instagram off my phone last month because my feed was being inundated with so much bad news. And it wasn't just bad news, it was bad news pertaining to topics I could do almost nothing about (most of which didn't affect me directly anyways). I've become a lot happier since adopting the mindset of doing what I can and then not worrying about it. I can't somehow magically will myself into becoming the hero of the story by being angry.
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'Choice Paralysis' is one of the funniest aspects of our world.
The best example I know of how to illustrate this is the 'Tesco Jam Experiment' which is how I use to teach this concept in a business capacity
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Hey Mark, I have watched a ton of all these videos, and podcasts related to the reality of life, paradoxes, stoicism, meaning of life, purpose, choices, etc etc from great personalities like you, Huberman, Rogan, Lex, TED talks and many more . I always question myself like "If these guys were in their early 20s(coz I'm rn) , would they have watched all this content of paradoxes, realities, advices, truth, do's and don'ts of life?". But then I feel like each person had their own story of life which consisted of different experiences, decisions, luck, timeline, situation, place, etc. Based on all these they have gained wisdom and created some advice/s in their domain of life. In this age every advice/truth is being bombarded through self-help books, podcasts, videos, and tweets, hence I just feel people in their 20s should create their own advice for themselves like you guys did in your life. It will be a hyper-personal advice that will work for that individual only. So Mark, should I know all this wisdom , truths, realities , paradoxes of life or will I just experience them in my 40s-50s when I will be connecting the dots of my life.
- A confused, curious, unsuccessful guy in his early 20s
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Thank-you, Mark. Committing to spending and enjoying time with people we care about and who care about us will bring joy even if itβs just hanging out
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@jonathanwalther
5 months ago
1 // 0:49 The more choices you have, the less satisfied you are with each one. // 2 // 7:28 The harder you work, the easier your life gets. The more you avoid hard work, the more difficult your life gets. // 3 // 11:48 The more you hate a trait in someone else, the more likely you are avoiding it in yourself. // 4 // 17:35 The more afraid you are to fail, the more likely you are to fail. The more okay you're with failure, the less likely failure becomes. // 5 // 21:49 The more something makes you uncomfortable, the more you should probably do it. // 6 // 26:16 The more connected we get, the more isolated we seem to feel. // 7 // 31:11 The more afraid you are of death, the less you will be able to enjoy your life. // Made with a brain, not with AI.
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