@Thagros

5 years ago

This is the song that too perfectly described the situation with my partner, in a good way. When we met she was in a loveless, sexless, emotionally neglectful and abusive relationship with her man. I was still heartbroken from a break-up of the best relationship I'd ever had two years before. We met and sparks flew. We both have a lot of issues but are high-functioning professional people at the same time. When we met we both said it was just a casual sex connection. Very quickly we saw how much we connect, how much we have in common, how compatible we are. As we got closer and deeper bonds formed between us I found this song. It perfectly describes the situation we were in then - we both knew we had amazing chemistry but we were both clinging to the past, to what was known, what was safe. We have savagely honest communication. She was attached to her idenity as the crazy, kickass woman who just did what she liked and didn't need a profound relationship with a man to be content and challenged. And she knew she was competing with the ghost of my former lover. I told her how much that relationship had meant to me, that I was still in love with her. She was crestfallen - she finally met a guy she likes and he's hung up on some woman who left him because he didn't want to get married. I know she looked at me thinking, "You'll never leave your lover". Lying in bed together, with the silent night outside, the whole city asleep, in each others arms, listening to music, enjoying each other, with a hint of melancholy, the sentiments in this song were perfectly evoked. We wanted to be together but we were afraid. We knew "we should leave our lovers and be with one another". But I was afraid to let go of my lover. It felt like a betrayal. And I was too afraid to accept the finality of the breakup, even though it had been two years before. I had moved on and dated other people, but I still longed for that connection, assuming it was irreplaceable. She was afraid of leaving the security of her dysfunctional relationship because it had become 'normal'. As we talked and talked and got to know each other and the inimacy increased we realised we could "share our secrets until they swallow one another". It was scary but we did it. She left her lover, and I left mine, so we could be with one another. It continues to get better and better, even when we struggle in our own lives, we support each other. This song is the perfect soundtrack to an early chapter in our adventure. I'm so glad it exists.

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