@petalshadz8672

1 year ago

this song changed my life. I was put on a too high dose of ADHD medication and hospitalised for psychotic symptoms about 4 weeks ago. That first night, I listened to this song and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I've never cried that much inmy life. And then I listened again And Again and then I watched the video And I didn't even notice the details. I just connected and FELT his pain. It was the same pain I was in. The same. Pain. 2 days later, I spent the last of my money (I was still in hospital) on concert tickets to his show (its coming up at the end of July). It was the happiest I'd ever felt in my life at this point. Someone who has GENUINELY, through the power of music, SAVED MY LIFE, and now I had spent the last of my savings on these tickets - and its the first time in a long time I genuinely appreciated a purchase, something to look forward to. A week later, I trigger warning Tried to kill myself, even when I was in the hospital. I ran out. LAte at night. I was just like the scene at the start, with the plan, the note to mum and dad. I was ready to go. I didn't do it And 3 weeks later, here today, rewatching this video, I cry even fucking more and I just feel SO FUCKING HAPPY I DIDNT GIVE IN, IM SO GLAD I DIDNTKILL MYSELF AND IM SO GLAD IM 'FOOKIN ALIVE (AS HE WOULD SAY) And I genuinely have this video to thank for that. I watched it a hundred times in the last month. I played the song on repeat more than most. I used to write songs myself and I used to never complete them out of fear of how they may influence others negatively. As a writer, I know that that is a common fear. YOUR MUSIC SAVED MY LIFE, WHEN I WAS SITTING IN MY ROOM WITH MY HEAD IN MY HANDS AND REALITY DIDNT MATCH UP, WHEN 8 YEARS OF RITALIN AND AMPHETAMINE DEPENDENCE FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME. WHEN EVERYTHING HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS AND I COULDNT TAKE IT AND I NEVER WANTED TO DIE MORE THAN THIS MOMENT. YOUR SONG SAVED MY LIFE.

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