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11,602 Views • Jul 7, 2022 • Click to toggle off description
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References:
Ettensohn, M. D. (2013). The relational roots of narcissism: Exploring relationships between attachment style, acceptance by parents and peers, and measures of grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. Dissertation Abstracts International: Section B: The Sciences and Engineering, 73(10-B(E)).
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#npd #narcissism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #psychology #healing #relationaltrauma #trauma #traumahealing #psychologist
Views : 11,602
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Jul 7, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.912 (13/576 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-23T21:43:34.93392Z
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YouTube Comments - 109 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Any rejection, real or imagined, is physically painful, induces G.I. disturbances, makes my heart race, and clouds all ability to think. I acutely remember every negative interaction I've ever had and sometimes they pop into my head with the most inexplicable triggers - I can be pacing around the house for over an hour audibly cursing to myself, trying to get these forced introjects to piss off. Whole weeks can be ruined by one unfavorable comment.
My greatest dilemma is my innocence; declaring it, denying it, defending it, satiring it, etc. I've become lawyerly and precise in my language through the years. I firmly believe that consensus on the truth is decided by allegiance, charisma, and reputation - evidence be damned, because it doesn't always entertain the public's craving for "blood-sport". World history, the news, social media, what have you... it all supports this view!
Also, my interests were treated with annoyance ("this crap again?") and likewise myself. Yes, being rejected feels like a big scary adult intimidating little ol' 6-year-old me. I have Third Reich opinions of school bullies and internet trolls. Physical pain is also a narcissistic injury to me, because expression of pain was punished severely - I get paranoid and irritable for several hours afterward.
The issue with giving others an explanation of trauma is, everyone is assumed to be sadistic or aggressively dismissive - could be a projection on my part - and I can't make myself a target to a species of rough-n-tumble predators by exposing a raw nerve like that. I just hate people, right down to the core. Mercifully, we can all cordially interact with each other on a basis of persona.
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So hard to feel compassion when they trample all over your life without impunity. I wish I would’ve had this information at the beginning, it would’ve made a world of difference. I cannot survive any more of this.
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This is so sad and unfair. I don’t know if I have NPD but I relate to this on every level and wonder what the answers should be. Nobody knows how to help and I don’t know how to help myself. It’s hell.
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This makes so much sense. This is the very scenario that happened to my ex husband. He told me he won an art award and his mother instead of giving him praise she set a brownie or cookie pan on top of it. He told me that my tears made him angry. It made him feel like a monster and that he fell in love with a girl at work because she smiled at him. He lacked empathy, and he was only concerned with feeling like a winner.
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Your podcasts are the best thing I have listened to on this subject. I connect with it deeply, which is both threatening to me and soothing at the same time.
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Welcome back! Glad you posted this. I'm kinda taken back, I didn't realize that other people stopped being as sensitive to criticism as they grew older. I just thought that they got better at hiding/handling it than me. I remember once in elementary school I was accused of calling a girl fat. I didn't, but that didn't matter. One of my teachers said she was disgusted and couldn't even look at me. To this day I still catch myself fantasizing about revenge or saying insulting and cruel things to her. I guess that assumption is why my first response when I feel hurt is to want to attack their insecurities. I guess I want them to feel like I did. Hm, something to think about. Keep up the good work!
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Flip side of my previous post: I will stand up for some of the other YouTube creators (not all… some are hacks) who focus on those receiving abuse from narcissists. It’s an incredibly isolating experience and hearing someone else articulate your experience is so so so validating and necessary. It does go to the point of demonizing (almost literally) but understand that it’s coming from a place of self love not other hate.
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Just come across your channel, and ordered your book yesterday. I've been learning about NPD the last couple of years and so much on the subject seems out of balance, very black and white. Your different fairer way of thinking about the subject is very refreshing and so much more positive overall. Thank you! ❤❤🇬🇧🇬🇧😊😊
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This content is so, so, so well expressed and thought provoking. I have listened to a tremendous amount of YouTube NPD content (I’ve got a PhD from YouTube U now) and this is distinctive.
I’m in the middle of a divorce from my partner of 17 years who I strongly believe has NPD or is at least well down the spectrum. I was disoriented for the first 14 years and depressed for the past three at the realization that the behavior was not likely to change.
I take your point that it’s not true to say it CANT change but it is true to say that I’m not in a position to change it. I truly hope my soon to be ex is one of the lucky few who decide to do the work. I have quite honestly lost any love for her as a person but she’s the mother of my two wonderful innocent children who don’t never chose any of this when they were born. The damage an unaware narcissist can do is staggering.
I commend all who are following this channel as part of a journey to right themselves. I can only imagine how difficult that work is but I can assure you it’s worth it
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I have moderate intellectual disability so being hated on is very real. I want to be a good person which is denied. Thank you for the nice video. Hungry so I will see the rest later but will probably forget as usual.
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Thank you so much for this helpful, compassionate and empowering information. Getting ourselves out of a victim mindset, whether a narcissist or partner of one is the most empowering first step.
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I love your videos, they bring me peace wss married to a narcissist for 28yrs, the hurt and pain i try to understand on daily basis, it's such a SAD DISORDER and affects soooo many people and families. Thank you so much for showing me what this condition really is like.
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THANK YOU, LORD, FOR CONFIRMATION ...
thank you, sir, for this encouragement that i'm NOT supposed to run in the other direction!
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This is the greatest discovery on YouTube for a long time!!
Thank you for your professional, humanistic, down to earth exposure!!
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Thank you once again 😍
Wow there's just so many emotional traumas in my childhood I struggle to finding the root in these, 'cause I felt misunderstood almost EVERYWHERE (I've got ADHD hyperactive type, and I was a noisy invasive girl) at home, most of my family, in school.. so where to begin..
I've been praticing yoga and mindfullness for almost three years now so I don't have the need for revenge any more.. and taking more responsibility for my own actions...
however I can't control the need for adjusting myself to others needs not showing others who I am - the cause: a combination of fear of rejection, but also to let people inside wondering when they are going to leave but I've been doing this so much to a point when I forgot who I was..
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Thank you for this help for those who suffer. This is deeper than most want to delve, but it’s so true..
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You explain it really well. Thank you so much for all the work that you do. I was definitely raised by a covert narcissistic mother (from my own research) and I have always had a deep fear that I shared her similarities as I often mirrored her to cope with her. I started doing incessant inner work in 2020 and thought I was doing a good job since I had the willingness and let myself be accountable to the role I played in my own and other peoples suffering, then I got into a relationship. Long story short this relationship was fast paced and triggered me and made me competent disregulated and I was codependent and paranoid and controlling and had bouts of rage etc. I hurt this person and I feel terrible and i definitely acted like a narc. The tables turned on me and I am completely lost bec I thought this was empathetic but I guess I just never had the opportunities to show my narcissistic side
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You have helped me so much
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"Nobody is responsible for making you feel a certain way" - this and many other things can be easily spoken by the narcissist in defense of his actions hurting another person. My narc often logically stumps me in this manner. Narcissists also don't "intend to hurt", but people around them are routinely and often badly hurt by them. How do you get around this paradox?
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@healnpd
1 year ago
I will remove comments that are abusive to any individual (including myself) or population. This includes comments that are abusive toward pwNPD.
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