@ailaniortega8327

1 year ago

I think this song perfectly captures what it feels like to know you’re stuck in a toxic relationship but unable to get out. It starts out with a sad piano melody and him saying “you can kiss my love goodbye”, suggesting he is done with the relationship. His lover has likely just hurt him again, and he’s feeling like he can no longer sustain the hurt that comes with loving this person. He continues to reflect on how he has been deceived in the relationship and wonders how he was so blindly in love, “so naive”. He continues to say “I wish I woulda known you didn’t love me”, maybe if he knew sooner that this person didn’t love him, he wouldn’t have let himself fall so hard and deeply in love only to be deceived. He starts to blame it on himself, saying “maybe I’m just dumb”. Then the song picks up and the tone of his singing changes from sad and reflective to a more chaotic and dreadfully delightful kind of tone. He admits he’s down bad for his lover and that he’s aware that all his friends think this person is not good for him and yet he ignores it, his vision is blurred and he can’t see or at least accept the truth. He knows he looks kind of crazy but he feels good as of lately. This change in tone, in my opinion, represents the high that comes from being in the presence of the person you love in a toxic relationship. Ironically, the person that hurts you and makes you feel sad like the singer in the beginning of the song is the same person that brings you back up and makes you feel good. When you’re in a toxic relationship, you fall into a cycle of being deeply hurt and feeling as if you can’t take anymore, but every time you think that you’re done, your partner brings you back up to that high and you feel so good that you don’t want to leave. Eventually, as this cycle repeats, you become aware that this relationship is causing you pain, but as the singer says “I kinda like the pain”, you take it because the pain also comes with some amazing moments. He continues with “breathe, breathe” as if to pull himself together and go on enduring the pain. He knows he is not okay and that his partner has broken him, but he’s okay with it because they still make him feel so amazing at times. Being in this situation, you realize that you are being hurt, but if you leave the relationship, you will still be left with that hurt and no longer get the highs, so you feel like you might as well continue to take the hurt if it means also having those temporary good moments. It takes so long to fully wake up and be strong enough to break out of this cycle, and I feel for anyone who relates to this situation as I have myself. I hope you find the strength to do what you know is best for you, it’s going to be extremely difficult and will take time to heal, but I promise you’ll be better off in the end.

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