@TheStupendium

1 year ago

Order your Satisfactory merch and replicas now at www.lizarddoggo.com/! LYRICS: INTRO: Do you love the sweet smell of industry in the morning? Does terra firma fill you with terror versus firm factory foundations? Have you ever looked at Mother Nature’s splendour and thought, ‘Eugh...’ We have brave FICSIT pioneers nobly shaving off the galaxy’s superfluous greenery Grinding it down into the fine mulch of progress and refining it into pure ingots of profit And now you too can join them Welcome To the AWESOME shop CHORUS 1: The planets and the stars are new frontiers of revenue And our pioneers bring bargains factory direct to you Try not to be disheartened by the trees that we consume Call and place your orders of Products from the AWESOME shop INTERLUDE 1: Violent violet boars on your iron ore? Carnivorous critters crashing your Caterium conveyors? Then do we have just the product for you! VERSE 1: Every planet features sweet resource veins that you can extract Sadly, selfish creatures then, of course, make them their habitats We’ve got a brilliant new addition to your haversack Thirty thousand volts of pure eviction in one handy pack Introducing the Xeno-Zapper, just as soon as it leaves the wrapper Any nuisance beasts giving you any grief just give a brief zap and you’ll see them scatter Is it cruel? Does it even matter? Deep below, well, we need that matter It’s a tool with a decent stagger but certain pests need a beefier splatter The Xeno-Basher is our premium offering Guaranteed to leave more than a few teeth wobbling When local zoology opposes remodelling We recommend them a deluxe clobbering INTERLUDE 2: Case in point! This little bugger clearly needs an excavation of his brain from his head Oh... He’s uh... He’s brought me a berry... Nobody’s ever brought me a berry before... Go on, get out of here! CHORUS 2: The planets and the stars are new frontiers of revenue It’s one small step for industry, one giant deal for you Leaving deep space carbon footprints in some giant freaking shoes Wake up babe, new ores just dropped Now stocked in the AWESOME shop VERSE 2: ‘Cause it's thirsty work, converting the fertile earth From worthless dirt to stuff for the twerps on earth to purchase So, what’s a few birds in a furnace? Slurp from your new coffee cup, you’ve earned it Land that’s not wasteland stands wasted Raze those plants and then replace with Plating plants, gas excavating Fracking plans are quite groundbreaking Flora and the fauna aren’t important when there’s more to sell Heck, even our chainsaw fuel is ground up alien tortoiseshells There’s no need to focus on our one-sided war of the worlds Ripping up the rosebuds as we’re plundering these ores n’ wells Climate impact? Disregard it, you’re under contract to farm it Our market share just can’t be spared and you’ve got artifacts to HARVEST INTERLUDE 3: NEWS FROM EARTH. WIDESPREAD CHAOS. THERE IS NO HOPE BUT FOR ALL CITIZENS TO IMMEDIATELY HARVEST ALIEN ARTIFACTS. YOU MUST COMPLY. YOU MUST COMPLY. YOU MUST COMPLY. CHORUS 3: The planets and the stars are new frontiers of revenue And our pioneers bring bargains factory direct to you You’ve reached our complaints department, you’re three millionth in the queue Critics say we oughta stop But then who’d stock the AWESOME shop? OUTRO: It's that blinking Lizard Doggo again! That’s it, you were warned! I am gonna clobber you with... He’s brought me another present! Look, I can’t do it! He’s too cute It’s a... It’s a barrel of nuclear waste... Thanks little guy... I could never be mad at you...

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