@rubyrodriguez5918

9 months ago

I just needed to share this somewhere I guess. I came across this on Spotify a few minutes ago, and it reminds me of my dad. He’s talked about packing up and moving out of the state since I was a little kid but never did. Each year he’d say “this is the year”, but the years came and went. Eventually everyone just accepted that it was never going to happen. He called me yesterday and told me that he’s leaving next week on Friday with my two sisters. My brothers are staying in our childhood home. I’m grown. I’m married and have my own family now. My husband is asleep next to me, my toddler is asleep in my arms as I type this, and I feel my baby inside my tummy kicking. I am surrounded by so much love, but just knowing that half my family is actually leaving leaving soon, had shattered my heart into pieces of fine dust. I feel like a little girl who just needs her daddy. I’m reminder of all the opportunities I turned down to see my family, or all the angry feelings I’d had toward them at some point for something that suddenly means nothing… I’m just thinking about how I regret not seeing them more and putting aside the petty arguments. I’m meeting with my family in a few days at a restaurant we grew up going to, to say goodbye. It’s been more than a year since we were all together and now I can’t help but regret and wonder why we didn’t do this more often. I don’t know when the next time I’ll see any of them again will be and my heart feels so empty. I’m surrounded by so much love, but yet I feel so scattered and empty.

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