ImmersiveAmbientModecolor: #deb7b1 (color 2)
Video Format : 22 (720p) openh264 ( https://github.com/cisco/openh264) mp4a.40.2 | 44100Hz
Audio Format: Opus - Normalized audio
PokeTubeEncryptID: c55cb7b5d394736a7acaa762f8e211baf8009ffbe689e588f93aacdeb9888612b0fba86eb2b622e101e1801df3891496
Proxy : eu-proxy.poketube.fun - refresh the page to change the proxy location
Date : 1715878674177 - unknown on Apple WebKit
Mystery text : S0pUeE53S3l0RUUgaSAgbG92ICB1IGV1LXByb3h5LnBva2V0dWJlLmZ1bg==
143 : true
26,683 Views • Aug 17, 2022 • Click to toggle off description
CONTENTS:
Intro 00:00 - 01:08
Breastfeeding / formula feeding 01:08 - 03:57
Sleep training (or not) 03:37 - 04:30
Working mum / stay at home mum 04:30 - 05:42
Relationship post baby 05:42 - 06:15
Fashion post baby 06:15 - 06:27
Being 'overprotective' 06:27 - 06:54
To T.V or not to T.V? 06:54 - 07:33
The dirty looks 07:33 - 07:49
Posting kids online? Tolerance? 07:49 - 08:23
Dealing with 'mum guilt' / judgement using BetterHelp 08:23 - 09:40
What I've learned & advice 09:40 - 17:55
That last bit is the real MEAT of the video. Cheers to BetterHelp for helping me with this minefield and for offering my followers a discount to try out the service! betterhelp.com/murphy
► MY INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/melaniiemurphy/?hl=en
Views : 26,683
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Aug 17, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.916 (38/1,761 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2023-11-14T12:04:27.044027Z
See in json
YouTube Comments - 179 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
This video is going to be so beneficial to mothers and people who want to have children but are terrified of judgement, pressure, making mistakes etc
89 |
this video helped me confront my bias against stay at home mothers. My mom, who was a stay at home mom, was abusive. Stupidly, I didn't realize that my instinctive anxiety toward the idea of stay at home mothers was more tied to that than anything else.
17 |
OMG I work in a nursery and I wrote a goodbye letter to the parents thanking them for the trust they instilled in me for the privilege and responsibility of looking after their precious children. I wrote a section in the letter saying how it breaks my heart that parents feel so guilty for sending their kids to child care when they're busy supporting them in other vital ways like working, cooking, cleaning, recharging their emotional batteries etc. And it's literally a job I'm trained and qualified to do because parenting is a valid and skilled job. My boss made me cut that paragraph out though 😕 but yeh, with breastfeeding, disciplining, rewards and punishments, diet, access to the internet etc. There's so many heated opinions. I've not even watched 1 full minute yet and I could write an essay
25 |
Thank you for sharing such an important message, Melanie! As a new mom of a 4 month old I’m experiencing this all the time. E.g. older generations asking why I don’t use formula, because “the child can’t possibly get enough milk”, even though it is perfectly thriving and gaining weight greatly. “Why do you have to carry her around all the time, you’ll spoil her, let her scream once in a while so she’ll learn to sleep on her own” is another one. And the list goes on and on. It is so exhausting. We are busy enough figuring it all out and fighting self-doubt as a parent and we are all giving it our best. Constantly having to justify oneself just adds to the stress, but surely doesn’t help anyone.
8 |
Oh Melanie, you've absolutely smashed this. Formula feeding (hilarious considering she's almost 2 and hasn't had formula in a year), allergy part time working mum here. Being an allergy parent brings a whole new level of judgement - some people believe just giving the allergen repeatedly will fix things, some people believe it's my fault for being a germaphobe or that I was too scared to eat things during pregnancy. And then you have to trust other people not to kill your child because somehow reading allergens on a packet is IMPOSSIBLE for everyone except you.
3 |
Just to say - you don't have to go down the Better Help route and pay for therapy ! If you are perinatal (pregnant, baby under age of two, any gender) you can access therapy and counselling via GP within IAPT FOR FREE perinatal clients are prioritised and seen quicker so no long waiting lists !!
23 |
In my almost three years of being a mammy I’ve learned no matter what we decide someone will always disagree. Now I’ve baba number two and I feel so much more relaxed because I’m listening to myself and not others.
I can’t work right now because we can’t afford child care, and it suits us for the moment until my eldest starts crèche next year. It’s a full time job with no pay or breaks.
11 |
Melanie, I’m SO glad you made this video. The hardest part about being a mum for me is fearing constant judgement. I’m always scared that people will think I’m a bad parent for choices that I think are best for my child. Sometimes I look towards mothers like yourself and think that they’re all perfect and I’m not good enough. But the reality is that no one can ever be a perfect parent. We just need to do what’s best for our babies! 💜
15 |
Can we also talk about how in this capitalistic, patriarchal, misogynistic society we are set up for a man to work a 40 hour week and for a woman to be a housewife. However because of the economy women are also expected to work and contribute financially to the home while maintaining the full responsibilities of a mother. Few if any of her responsibilities are delegated to the man. Being a mother is more than a full time job which requires physical and emotional labour 24/7 (particularly in the first year) with no holidays or sick leave, often while recovering from the physical and mental toll of pregnancy. Yet it's completely unpaid and disturbingly undervalued
43 |
My granddad's baby brother starved to death in the early 1940s because he couldn't latch. My great grandmother never recovered from the loss, formula is a miracle!
5 |
Many years ago, a friend of mine was unable to breastfeed. She tried to get help and advice, but the nurses and representatives of LeLeche league told her that "if you really wanted to do it, you would get it done". She was heartbroken.
21 |
Crazy how most, if not all, parents will resonate with everything you have said. Thanks for sharing your experiences with for the world to enjoy and be reminded that we are not alone.
I am a single mom that breastfeed my daughter until she turned three and still bedshare, while working full time. Bonus, we are plant based and I was raised in New Orleans, Louisiana, USA. There are so many challenges in life, and motherhood has additional ones. This experience has taught me to be less judgmental and more loving towards others for sure.
If you’re reading this, just know that you’re an amazing being that is deserving of love!💕
4 |
I know this is for mothers, but I think sometimes we do this to ourselves in so many other areas of our lives. Thank you for reminding us to be kinder with ourselves and others always.
4 |
Thanks for making this video! It couldn't have come at a better time for me. I experienced my first clash over parenting with my parents and it has bruised my heart. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. X
1 |
Love this style of video, well done for juggling it all Melanie!
5 |
Excellent video, Mrs. Mel!!! I love your openness (and the new office space is amazing! Perfect, calming, and homey background)
|
loving this whole thing: your thoughts, the new office, the Miss Honey vibes 💚
4 |
I love this editing format, so much more personable and fun
|
I loved your passion in this! It's timely too - I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I think it'll help me to feel empowered in the decisions I make as a new parent.
1 |
@elliafabia
1 year ago
Although I decided that I don't want children, I'm really interested in this whole conversation. My neighbor gave birth a few weeks ago. She's a single mom and every time we interact, I ask her how she's feeling first and try to show empathy for her struggles. We aren't friends or anything, but I still want to give her the feeling, that she is save with me and that she knows that I don't judge her, however often or loud her baby cries, or she doesn't look her best etc. I don't want to showcase how good of a person I am here ^^ just wanted to share my experience as a child-free by choice person and say that videos like these help me a lot to understand and to improve my empathy towards parents.
36 |