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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Ever wonder why INFJs attract attention despite trying to blend in? It's a strange mix of avoiding the spotlight yet always finding ourselves in the middle of it. Here we are, avoiding conflict, yet people always want to delve deeper into our thoughts. It feels like we're constantly tested ā it's exhausting and leaves us feeling misunderstood. Trying to stay under the radar somehow makes us even more intriguing. Welcome to the paradox of being an INFJ, where being quietly fascinating draws all the attention we weren't seeking.
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Views : 10,913
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Date of upload: Apr 28, 2024 ^^
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RYD date created : 2024-05-19T15:32:37.408183Z
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YouTube Comments - 121 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
People hate us for minding our own business, thinking that we're stuck up and aloof but we genuinely don't care about talking about other people behind their backs, because we understand that people have flaws and life isn't set in stone
77 |
So true. as a older person, a leo and now I know I'm an INFJ, 90% of the many issues Iv'e encountered come from jealousy, my family, my friends, business associates, everyone always.
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On the other hand, if people are so uncertain about the INFJ, then they are welcome to ask. If they are afraid for because it's too socially awkward for them, then it's on them. One can still engage with folks like the mysterious INFJ with respect, without needing to know how they can categorize them.
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Synchronicities and talking frequently with God turns the INFJs auras a very intriguing thing for people just observing us. I donāt blame them because I am very grateful for these privileges. I would say that ordinary people wouldnāt have any chance to understand where exactly we live.
29 |
I feel I set my boundaries and then these people start to enlist others to harass me. Anyone else have this experience?
18 |
I get so sick of this. Always someone wants to mess with me. And im super social at work. But always someone wants to push my buttons. I hate hurting others and i end up getting backed into A. uncomfortable conflict or B. getting bullied. Im 45 years old and this keeps happening in my life. Its crazy!! I dont feel comfortable with power dynamics and such. Im just me and i dont care about that stuff.
28 |
I definitely feel like other people feel I am a mystery a lot of the time, which is funny to me because I don't mind being open about my beliefs, views, interests, etc. So, is it that people just aren't listening when I express those views? I agree that inner peace has to be the most important thing. I find that I am now staying away from situations that don't give me peace and while it felt lonely at first, over time, it's gotten a lot easier to spend time on my own and away from drama.
9 |
16:48 This is where I am challenging myself these days: When I got that bubble in my throat to withhold expressing something- I always did not say it because I was going to hurt their feelings but now I say it - Because the alternative is me dying inside (no metaphor) because I only want to be able to be my authentic self - It is suffocating not fully expressing myself - I never gave myself permission because of the costs (there were real costs at one time - childhood - social acceptance etc) But the inner turmoil has become 10x more painful than the social rejection from others - the cost is too damn high (mental health etc). I never deny anyone else being who they are - I must practice this same value with myself.
35 |
I feel like both an enigma that people admire in a way, and also have to bring down because Iām different
Iām 62 and feel like moving to a cabin in a forest to live with bears and rabbits and be left in peace.
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Whoever were waiting to be strong for us isnt coming. We have to be strong for us
7 |
I have a lot of ppl testing me at work initially. They will usually make passive aggressive comments (competitive in nature) or trama dump bc I'm a great listener. I have to be assertive to the competitive types and stop being as invested in convos with the trama dumpers asap to interact with them betterš© great vid as always šš¾ā¤ļø
34 |
I donāt understand the need to try to alpha dog me in the first place.
25 |
I've developed the perfect armor for these sort of situations. I have been described by my therapist as "big and scary" (strictly a superficial observation, as would be expected); this description might be accurate for anyone that doesn't know me. Am I big? YUP (350 lbs and built like an islander)! I have a demeanor that says "screw with me and the apocalypse will just be a minor problem while standing in the line at the supermarket!". I dress in dark colors or clothes with descriptive slogans like "Sure! Let's do the stupidest thing possible just because it is easier for you!". And smile? Only when someone isn't looking.
But to the people that know me, I am usually described as "a big, soft, cuddly huggable teddy bear" (ughhh, talk about a decidedly UN-macho/less-than-masculine description. WHOOOOFFFF! Embarrassing).
My main defense against this bs? Keep a small company of people that are positive and enlightened (preferably without being goofball nuts!). I usually have a live-and-let-live attitude, but am a dragon. Know what they say about dragons? "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!".
6 |
This actually just happend to me just this morning. We say the simplest things that are neither a compliment or a put down and people either they are over sensitive or just looking for a scapegoat get offended and have no desire to actually talk things out. Boring in my opinion. Move on. Intersting world us INFJ's have to live in.
12 |
INFJs are often seen as insightful and empathetic, so people might naturally turn to them for advice, support, or understanding. This could lead to a sense of being tested or evaluated frequently. Also, because INFJs are known for their ability to understand others deeply, some people might intentionally seek their insights or reactions in various situations. It's important for INFJs to set boundaries and communicate their needs to avoid feeling overwhelmed or drained by constant testing or demands on their empathy.
14 |
We are tested in SO MANY CONTEXTS AND CAPACITIES. The list is endless... I've been tested by my sisters and parents, my teachers, my bosses, Men especially (the rigid and stuck in their ways type especially), sometimes even friends (or now what I see are frienemies - picking friends similar to my sisters), even DOCTORS, religions patrons, once even a Judge at jury duty.
I've committed to being as honest as possible and let go of my self-judgment. If it hurts them let them work that out with their therapist instead of me having to see a therapist for staying quiet and internalizing everything and being their "pseudo stand in therapist because they are too lazy to get one or because they never get the deep feedback they are looking for from their therapist."
If people ask or challenge they are getting the full honest truth. If they don't ask I just keep it to myself. Some of the people that are most sensitive to what I say are parents... specifically parents who don't see how they are negatively impacting their children.
8 |
Once you get old and cold enough you will start to enjoy living wide open and making people dislike you for stupid reasons lol. Say hello to Mr Hydeš
49 |
I remember having to deal with each one of these at different times in my life. I can see how #2 and #4 could seem contradictory to each other; we have good composure but we underestimate ourselves. Maybe that's why we are also #1 - a mystery, and can't be put in a box.
However, now that I'm officially a senior citizen, I'm happy to say that I don't struggle with that as much as I used to. When we age responsibly and well (which I think I'm doing, minus my arthritis š) I'm happy to report that it isn't the struggle that it used to be - or at least I now know how to cope with it better.
I think the reason is that I have accepted and even honored my introversion and I no longer feel like there's something wrong with me if I have to get away and rest. In fact, I have since found out that a lot of my old friends have to do the same thing!
4 |
I find it ironic that this video was posted today, as well as the prior video about INFJ's and narcissistic. I have been involved in a relationship with someone I love very much, but for the most part, all I've received is an almost daily dose of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. This is not a poor me statement, just a fact.
I feel that all of this treatment was due to their inability to understand me, though I did my best to be completely transparent with her. What a mistake. It only made me a target for her to attack and project her problems and insecurities onto me because she was unable to find a healthy outlet to help herself. It ended yesterday when I had to door slam her for good. Which is upsetting for me and especially bad for her as there are real-life consequences now that involve the law.
If I had simply set and protected my boundaries to begin with, this would have never gone so far.
Be careful with who you allow into your life.
As always, thanks for the free content/videos. They help to give me focus and do better damage control.
3 |
@Wenzes
3 weeks ago
What are your experiences with people testing you without you actively provoking them?
16 |