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809,361 Views ā¢ Premiered Jul 29, 2022 ā¢ Click to toggle off description
STREAM: maddiezahm.ffm.to/ifitsnotgod
EP PRE-ORDER: maddiezahm.ffm.to/youmightnotlikeherep
Directed by Gus Black
FOLLOW MADDIE
Homepage: www.maddiezahmmusic.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/maddiezahm/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@maddiezahms?l...
Twitter: twitter.com/maddiezahm
Facebook: www.facebook.com/maddiezahmmusic
LYRICS
Be pretty and
Donāt make it look like you're tryin
Told to be Esther
When I felt like Goliath
When they were wrong
I could never keep quiet
I'd search for the truth
And had faith that Iād find it
Set myself on fire
let myself be the liar
All the Sundayās I worried Iād disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood some types of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What father picks a few just to leave the rest
I heard a voice inside my head, they disagreed
So If it wasnāt God then thank God it was me
They called me a sinner
When I was a saint
Hiding in her bedroom
Praying depression away
Killin herself for eternal life
And losing her interests to be a good wife
Set myself on fire
I let them call me the liar
All the Sundayās I worried Iād disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood a type of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What father picks a few just to leave the rest
I heard a voice inside my head, they disagreed
So If it wasnāt God if that wasn't God it was me
Thank God it was me
BRIDGE:
If it was God
Then I donāt have to worry
Heāll know why I left
Why I ran in a hurry
So either way I choose
Iām not wasting my life
Cause the voice in my head
Has always been right
All the Sundayās I worried Iād disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood a type of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
No father picks a few just to leave the rest
CREDITS
DIRECTOR: Gus Black
PRODUCERS: Kelly Norris Sarno, Ashley Whelan, Gus Black
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY: Tim Toda
1ST AC: Jorge Olortegui
STEADICAM: Garet Lee Jatsek
2nd AC: Kody Newton
1ST ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: McKena Vigilant
2nd ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Ashley Whelan
PRODUCTION MANAGER | ASSOCIATE PRODUCER: Jacob Brumfield
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR: Tashia Yeates-Brumfield
GAFFER: Pat Metzler
BEST BOY: George Hysmith
KEY GRIP: Bill Zuehl
GRIP: Dan Misner
PRODUCTION DESIGNER: Nichole Stull
SET DRESSER: Coral Clark
WARDROBE: Amanda (Mariko) Hipperson
ASSISTANT WARDROBE: Amanda Fitch
KEY HAIR & MAKE UP: Carolina Ballesteros
ASSISTANT HMU: Amanda Woods
STILLS ASSISTANT: Lauren Withrow
PAās: Toni Hagan, Dre Denise, Nate Hardy
CASTING: Lynn Pattnosh, Catrine McGregor & Madalyn VanValkenburgh
BTS: Elizabeth Findley
LABEL: AWAL
VIDEO COMMISSIONER: Bianca Bhagat
SENIOR DIRECTOR, PRODUCT MANAGEMENT: Sarah Goodman
ARTIST MANAGEMENT: Christian Stavros and Heather Kolker
CAST
PRIEST: Nick Garcia
PASTOR: Lance Thompson
TEENAGE MADDIE: Laney Olson (trauma story 1)
YOUNG MADDIE: Wynter Woods
GIRL IN PARK 1: Kennedy Williams
GIRL IN PARK 2: Holland Stull
GIRL IN PARK 3: Tatijanna Woods
TRAUMA STORY 2 - GIRL WITH PASTOR : Sarah Tucker
TRAUMA STORY 3 - GIRL WITH FAMILY : Remi Stull
EXTRA STORY 3 - MOM WITH TAPE: Hollis Welsh
EXTRA STORY 3 - CHILD WITH TAPE: Sibelle Garcia
EXTRA STORY 3 - CHILD WITH TAPE: Aude Garcia
TRAUMA STORY 4: Dami Ashaye
COUPLE KISSING: Kylie & Rochelle Williams
EXTRA IN WHEELCHAIR: Yvonne Juarez
ADDITIONAL EXTRAS IN CHURCH AISLE: Myna Zahm, Kim Davis, April Kolman, Hannah Lacy
IF ITāS NOT GOD
WRITTEN BY: Maddie Zahm, Brian Brundage
PRODUCTION: Adam Yaron, Maddie Zahm
MIX ENGINEER: Matt Huber
MASTERED BY: Joe LaPorta
MASTERED AT: Sterling Sound
RECORDING ENGINEER: Adam Yaron
KEYS: Brian Brundage
CELLO: Tiger Darrow
VIOLIN: Chase Potter
BACKING VOCALS: Bre Kennedy, Sam Backoff, Zoe Clark
#maddiezahm #ifitsnotgod
Views : 809,361
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Premiered Jul 29, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.896 (606/22,613 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-07T22:59:57.915352Z
See in json
YouTube Comments - 1,086 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
This woman is speaking for an entire generation of traumatized church kids. KEEP GOING MADDIE.
3.8K |
"If it was God then I don"t have to worry. He'll know why I left. Why I ran in a hurry. So either way I choose I'm not wasting my life, because the voice in my head has always been right." That hits me like a ton of bricks.
1.3K |
āNo Father picks a few just to leave the restā is a WORD! š„
2.5K |
Maddie Zahmās lyrics alone can singlehandedly cure my religious trauma.
1.5K |
"Cause I never understood a type of love being wrong" is such a powerful line for me as someone who is apart of the LGBTQ+ community because I grew up as the pastor's daughter and I never understood why loving who you love was wrong. This song means so much to me and so many other people. Thank you Maddie
96 |
Had an immediate physical response to seeing the girls taped mouths while the men are free. Truly thank you for healing my spirit every few weeks this summer. You are changing lives with this work.
1.4K |
From an ex-mormon boy who took literal decades to realize I was bi... thank you. I'm crying at my desk, listening to all the feelings and thoughts I've had about this, sung so beautifully by you.
98 |
"No father picks a few just to leave the rest" <3
Damn girl. She really went off and said it.
176 |
SO POWERFUL. I was raised in a missionary Baptist family. I am not part of the LGBTQ+ community. I'm a wife and mother. But as a young child I NEVER understood how anyone could be an abomination for being who they were. As a young mom who suffered gravely with anxiety and depression who was told to "pray about it"....I'm so glad I broke free from that. So glad.
438 |
As someone who grew up a pastor's daughter in peak 90's purity and conservative culture, I thank you for this. Instant tears listening to these lyrics. Cleansing tears.
114 |
Who knew one song could reveal so many issues and make me feel validated for walking away from the church. Thank you for this and all your music
474 |
As an ex-Mormon, this song speaks to my soul. Thank you for so artistically capturing what it feels like to lose the religion we are raised inābut in the process, to find ourselves. ā¤ļø
160 |
It was always me. I was the one who pulled myself out of depression all those times. They may have convinced me god was the magician, but I was the one who held the magic. Thank you Maddie for this healing in my ā¤ļø.
I am free.
650 |
Okay but the tape on the mouth of the women and girls hit all the ptsd and trauma for me!
What a beautiful message, and thank God for you and the gifts heās giving you because this song is gonna heal a whole generation of once good church kids who are hurting.
727 |
We were told that our depression was the result of not loving God enough. Thank you for this. In 4 minutes you put into words what my sisters and I were never allowed to express ā¤
182 |
āWhen they were wrong I could never keep quietā šÆšÆšÆšÆšÆ āSomething inside me was always steering leftā yessss!!!
23 |
When I mean Iām SCREAMING ,āIT WAS ME!ā
Maddie, I wish I knew how to thank you, for everything youāve given us, in a time that most needed you!
I stayed home from work today just so I would be able to watch and process this!
I havenāt seen or spoken to my mom in months and itās been the some of the toughest days, but thanks to you Iām singing to myself how proud I am!
419 |
The line āI never understood a type of love being wrongā speaks volumes. I canāt understand how people hold such deep rooted beliefsā¦ to hate people for who they love. I canāt comprehend how people can cut relationships with family and friends over who they choose to love.
98 |
As an african american male musician raised in a militant christian home... this is confirmed and inspired me to take a more musically brutal approach to further elaborate on this beautiful message you brought. But telling it from a african american historical type point of view. Thanks Maddie
62 |
@MaddieZahm
1 year ago
what the church doesnāt realize is that when you teach a kid to sing with conviction, eventually theyāll grow up and find their own.
5.7K |