@haileymclaughlin3961

1 year ago

I used to volunteer for the Getty Museum, which has Munch’s version of Starry Night. Me and the other volunteers were being led by a staff member in a mindfulness meditation exercise and were told to quietly contemplate the painting and analyze the shapes, colors, movement, et cet, but we were also told to divorce the painting from its artist and to only to only rely on our own interpretation of what we were seeing. I was one of the few volunteers who had studied art history and had written a paper on munch and was well informed of his depression, mental Illness, personal life, and life in Europe in the early 20th century effected his art. I was struggling with my own mental health at the time and all I could interpret from the painting was that it barely seemed finished; compared to his other works the brush work was haphazard and thin, the painting felt unrendered. All I could think of was that he was so depressed and struggled with so much with anxiety that he didn’t feel like he could finish it, because what would’ve been the point? I was going through similar feelings myself and had to leave the gallery because I started sobbing, and when I returned the lecture he ended but as soon as I saw the instructors I started sobbing again. They pulled me aside and talked with me and I told them the above: that I couldn’t divorce the context of Munch’s painting from my own interpretation because I could recognize an artists work that was bound by the limitations of despair. After listening to me the instructor said that I did the exercise precisely as it was meant to be done, and asked if she could use my experience in her PHD. So ya not to brag but my art history induced anxiety attack is in an academic document somewhere.

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