Views : 104,414
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Dec 17, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.967 (47/5,659 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-16T00:09:13.631789Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
There are too many people out there who tend to ask you a lot of personal questions and for the most part they will use that information against you to spread false rumors or as a manipulative tool. It is important to maintain strong boundaries to protect your personal space and your reputation.
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Truth is tho, most people will probably not care about your boundaries and you might honestly not care about theirs. The only people who will comply with your boundaries are people that respect you. When it comes to putting your foot down with boundaries, just know you need to have the ability to walk away at any point, sometimes this might have harmful consequences depending on who you are dealing with. The whole thing is a power dynamic, so make sure you have the power in the relationships.
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As a late diagnosed autistic person, I appreciate you bringing light to the fact that we can end up saying something that might sound odd to other people without necessarely having ill intentions. I've always struggled with what is socially acceptable to say to people and have been silencing myself alot in my life because of it in order to not make others uncomfortable. While I often could tell if I unintentionally made someone uncomfortable, I wouldn't know why or how to fix the situation as people most often would just avoid me rather than addressing the issue so I could understand their point of view and take note for future social sitauations. It has been very isolating to not just be told what I did wrong instead of being shunned...
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1. Gossipers
2. Attention Seekers
3. Victim Mentality
4. Compulsive Liars
5. Enablers
6. Compulsive Liars
People who constantly belittle
7. People who make you uncomfortable
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Unfortunately, I continue to learn my lesson with setting and maintaining boundaries. But each time I learn and improve.
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I have a female narcissist in my circle. I must admit a female narcissist is harder to recognize. I never talk about anything deeper than the weather w her. Once i closed her off it seems she tries even harder to get information about me. Whatever she learns she will use against me. So we talk about the weather. 👍
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How to START? For example:
Step 1. Be as clear and as straightforward as possible. Do not raise your voice.
Step 2. State your need or request directly in terms of what you’d like, rather than what you don’t want or like.
Step 3. Accept any discomfort that arises as a result, whether it’s guilt, shame, or remorse.
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Ouch, the belittler one got me with my mom. She thinks she does it out of love but she nags and lectures to me endlessly and rarely if ever asks for my opinion on the things she says. I used to just ignore her more because of it but that never would get her to stop.
I eventually just had to tell her that I did not understand how she felt that she was being a good advocate for what she's saying to me because she continues even when I'm white clearly and happily ignoring her. I told her that it seemed as though even she didn't think that she was speaking to me as a person and that that was why it was so easy for me to ignore her. There was no inflection, no pausing for thought, no dialog. It was not communication it was a one way download that she expected me to take without any criticism, interpretation or push back.
Finally, regarding the nagging, I asked her what thing that she does poorly that she later does better when someone has repeated to her countless times to do the thing.
I asked her, did it take ten times for her to be told or twenty? What about thirty? At this point she got the point that she wasn't communicating and was in a way isolating herself with her language and that I was the one trying to communicate. I ended our conversation with a non judgemental, "this is why we talk about this stuff."
I'm 44 and I've never known how to speak to her about her pathological habits before and I'm pretty proud of myself because I didn't attack her but I attacked her strategy and was able to improve our communication without being judgemental.
Sure, old habits still die hard but we're all doing much better now. =)
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@kathleenfrances8808
4 months ago
Be careful who you open up to: after revealing at work that I've survived an attempted kidnapping at age 9, and fought off a home invasion as a newlywed in 1993, people at work treat me differently. Don't just open up to anyone even if you think it could help them because you don't really know them or what they've been through, or how they may use such information against you.
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