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104,414 Views • Dec 17, 2023 • Click to toggle off description
We also made a video on the things you should say NO to: • 11 Things You Should Say "NO" To
If you're wondering about how to set boundaries, we have a video on that as well: • How To Set Healthy Boundaries
Writer: Dylan Swanepoel
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera (youtube.com/amandasilvera)
Thumbnail Artist: Nina Draws (IG: ninadrawthings)
Thumbnail Manager: Michal Mitchell
Animator: micoflores
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong
1). Gossipers 0:32
2). Attention seekers 1:48
3). Victim mentality 3:18
4). Compulsive liars 4:38
5). Enablers 5:31
6). People who constantly belittle you 6:25
7). People who make you uncomfortable 7:29
REFERENCES:
Treanor, Katie Elizabeth, Defining, understanding and diagnosing pathological lying (pseudologia fantastica): an empirical and theoretical investigation into what constitutes pathological lying, Doctor of Psychology (Clinical) thesis, School of Psychology, University of Wollongong, 2012. ro.uow.edu.au/theses/3811
Hoyer, T.V. Pseudologia fantastica. Psych Quar 33, 203–220 (1959). doi.org/10.1007/BF01575451
Dunbar, R. I. M. (2004). Gossip in Evolutionary Perspective. Review of General Psychology, 8(2), 100–110. doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.8.2.100
Gervais, S.J., Vescio, T.K. The Effect of Patronizing Behavior and Control on Men and Women’s Performance in Stereotypically Masculine Domains. Sex Roles 66, 479–491 (2012). doi.org/10.1007/s11199-011-0115-1
C.Nathan DeWalla, Laura E. Buffardi, Ian Bonsera and W. Keith Campbel (2011) Narcissism and implicit attention seeking: Evidence from linguistic analyses of social networking and online presentation, Personality and Individual Differences Volume 51, Issue 1, July 2011, Pages 57-62
Gregory, Robert J. "Managing suicide risk in borderline personality disorder: distinguishing real risk from attention seeking." Psychiatric Times, vol. 29, no. 5, May 2012, p. 25. Gale Academic OneFile, link.gale.com/apps/doc/A288628656/AONE?u=anon~14231385&sid=googleScholar&xid=9ca02de0. Accessed 15 Oct. 2022.
Barry, T.D., Klinger, L.G., Lee, J.M. et al. Examining the Effectiveness of an Outpatient Clinic–Based Social Skills Group for High-Functioning Children with Autism. J Autism Dev Disord 33, 685–701 (2003). doi.org/10.1023/B:JADD.0000006004.86556.e0
Views : 104,414
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Dec 17, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.967 (47/5,659 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-16T00:09:13.631789Z
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YouTube Comments - 316 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
There are too many people out there who tend to ask you a lot of personal questions and for the most part they will use that information against you to spread false rumors or as a manipulative tool. It is important to maintain strong boundaries to protect your personal space and your reputation.
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don’t be afraid to set boundaries y’all ✨
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It's hard setting boundaries when you've grown up without them.
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Truth is tho, most people will probably not care about your boundaries and you might honestly not care about theirs. The only people who will comply with your boundaries are people that respect you. When it comes to putting your foot down with boundaries, just know you need to have the ability to walk away at any point, sometimes this might have harmful consequences depending on who you are dealing with. The whole thing is a power dynamic, so make sure you have the power in the relationships.
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Boundaries can be tricky to set when others ignore them
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As a late diagnosed autistic person, I appreciate you bringing light to the fact that we can end up saying something that might sound odd to other people without necessarely having ill intentions. I've always struggled with what is socially acceptable to say to people and have been silencing myself alot in my life because of it in order to not make others uncomfortable. While I often could tell if I unintentionally made someone uncomfortable, I wouldn't know why or how to fix the situation as people most often would just avoid me rather than addressing the issue so I could understand their point of view and take note for future social sitauations. It has been very isolating to not just be told what I did wrong instead of being shunned...
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This year I learned the lesson of setting boundaries! I wasnt taught this during my upbringings which explained a lot of trauma. Boundaries are EXTREMELY important when meeting people. Thank you for this video, God Bless
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If i come across someone eho actually says "daddy chill", I'm avoiding them like the plague.
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1. Gossipers
2. Attention Seekers
3. Victim Mentality
4. Compulsive Liars
5. Enablers
6. Compulsive Liars
People who constantly belittle
7. People who make you uncomfortable
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Unfortunately, I continue to learn my lesson with setting and maintaining boundaries. But each time I learn and improve.
92 |
Boundaries are always important, base on a experiences
32 |
I have a female narcissist in my circle. I must admit a female narcissist is harder to recognize. I never talk about anything deeper than the weather w her. Once i closed her off it seems she tries even harder to get information about me. Whatever she learns she will use against me. So we talk about the weather. 👍
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How to START? For example:
Step 1. Be as clear and as straightforward as possible. Do not raise your voice.
Step 2. State your need or request directly in terms of what you’d like, rather than what you don’t want or like.
Step 3. Accept any discomfort that arises as a result, whether it’s guilt, shame, or remorse.
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Thumbnail: “Daddy chill”
What the hell is even that?! 😂😂
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Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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That's a great point about people who lie not being able to secure attention and love through more socially acceptable means. Lying allows them to create their own reality, which covers up the discomfort of the truth. Sometimes we'd rather convince ourselves that fiction is better.
22 |
Ouch, the belittler one got me with my mom. She thinks she does it out of love but she nags and lectures to me endlessly and rarely if ever asks for my opinion on the things she says. I used to just ignore her more because of it but that never would get her to stop.
I eventually just had to tell her that I did not understand how she felt that she was being a good advocate for what she's saying to me because she continues even when I'm white clearly and happily ignoring her. I told her that it seemed as though even she didn't think that she was speaking to me as a person and that that was why it was so easy for me to ignore her. There was no inflection, no pausing for thought, no dialog. It was not communication it was a one way download that she expected me to take without any criticism, interpretation or push back.
Finally, regarding the nagging, I asked her what thing that she does poorly that she later does better when someone has repeated to her countless times to do the thing.
I asked her, did it take ten times for her to be told or twenty? What about thirty? At this point she got the point that she wasn't communicating and was in a way isolating herself with her language and that I was the one trying to communicate. I ended our conversation with a non judgemental, "this is why we talk about this stuff."
I'm 44 and I've never known how to speak to her about her pathological habits before and I'm pretty proud of myself because I didn't attack her but I attacked her strategy and was able to improve our communication without being judgemental.
Sure, old habits still die hard but we're all doing much better now. =)
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I'm the type of person who always asks for people's boundaries before going any further to a conversation when I first meet them.
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Came here to set boundaries now realising people have to set boundaries with me 🙂
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@kathleenfrances8808
4 months ago
Be careful who you open up to: after revealing at work that I've survived an attempted kidnapping at age 9, and fought off a home invasion as a newlywed in 1993, people at work treat me differently. Don't just open up to anyone even if you think it could help them because you don't really know them or what they've been through, or how they may use such information against you.
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