@cvillelister

7 months ago

Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened. I've been seeking for about 6 months because I had so many questions that I was afraid to ask due to my 47 years of Christian background, and I am completely blown away by all of the information I am learning as I continue to dig. I honestly feel that I am seeking in my heart and I am being shown the truth. All of this makes so much more sense and answers many of my questions compared to the answers I get from any religous follower that have more experience than myself or any preacher both local or all those on Youtube. Here are a few questions I had after "trying" to get through the first 5 books of the old testament without being confused for the 2nd time (the first time I tried to read , it scared the crap out of me, I put the book down and went back into my box.) Here I am, 7 years later trying again and I feel no different than I did back then: 1.) How or why are we automatically born into sin? An innocent child coming out of the mother's womb with no sin is still considered a sinner? What makes this so? 2.) Why was God favoring a certain group of people? Aren't we all God's children? Aren't we all created by God? 3.) Why isn't the Rapture talked about in Revolations? I always thought it was, but it's not. Where did this come from? 4.) Why in the New Testiment is there so much talk about food and sacrafice? There was so many references to sacraficing animals. 5.) Why were so many people, including children murdered by God? The reasononing I heard preachers state was that God created life and it is a privlage to be alive, so he can do what he wants. Those children would have turned out to be awful, murdering, and corrupt people, so he did a good thing. I find this hard to believe. There is so much corruption now, so what's going on with that? Why aren't the current corrupt being destroyed by God now? 6.) God spoke so much of being fruitful and multiplying yet suddenly we are to spend our entire life with one person, yet so many men had several wives. Most all men back then and even now can't go an entire day without thinking of sex at least once per day. If the purpose of sex is to pro-create bringing children into the world, why did God allow sex to feel so good? Why is an orgasim one of the best feelings a person can experience? Some may say that it's the devil making us feel like that, but I say it's a sensation that was given by God in our body and the devil had nothing to do with that feeling. They may also say that people wouldn't pro-create as much to populate if it didn't feel good, but most have this desire to start a family at some point in their lives and would do it regardless of the feeling in order to start a family. I don't like to work because it doesn't really make me feel good, but working gives me something I want (money), so I do it regardless, however sex feels so good and is a beautiful experience, so why is it looked upon as a sin if you aren't in a union with someone? Why would even thinking about a person sexually be considered audultry? Everyone for the most part has felt this way about someone else at some point in their life. Is this something created by the Romans to make us feel guilt and shame? I could go on and on with the questions, but my main questions that lead me down this road was "How do I pray properly" because so many of my prayers go unanswered. This is when I learned about the lost gospels that weren't accepted in to the biblical cannon. The others were "How was the bible created?" and "When was the bible first distributed?". When I realized that the Romans were the main people that "decided" on the scripters permitted, I was super confused and unsure of so much. The Romans were violent dictators. They killed for sport. They were huge sinners and did un-Godly things, yet Constantine decided he wanted to be a Christian so everything changed after that??? Hell, the first thing I think of when I hear the words Roman Catholic Priest is "child molester". How many have gone to prison for this? Many....how many Christian leaders have turned out to be scam artists, rapists, and sexual molesters? During my search on the history of the bilble, I learned about many other texts that were not accepted and wondered....why??? I wondered if any of these texts could have been edited, altered, or changed. Many may say, "of course not"., but I say "what if?"....is it possible??? Yes! This is likely why there are thousands of different denominations in Christainity. Why so many? Are we that far apart on what is right or wrong? I am now at the point where I just love Jesus and I love God as the creator. I believe that Jesus was awake and understood God and creation and was a messenger and taught us how to be in oneness with God and the way we should live and try to be, but I believe God is loving and wasn't as harsh as the old testiment says and is accepting of most all people. I don't know what will happen to the corrupt and evil people, but I feel I only need to keep myself happy, strive to be a good person, take care of my family, be fair, and most importantly, to LOVE all. I am so confused on this because I do attend church and I feel as though I don't belong and I don't want to raise my children in a belief that could be false as I believe I was through my family. I feel now like I did when my parents told me Santa wasn't real. I feel betrayed but I still have faith that God is everywhere and in all of us. Maybe I'm just crazy, but I have a feeling that when I die, I will still go up to be with God because God loves all of us more than we realize and God wants us to do the same. I feel it's really just that simple. Great video by the way!

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