The Onion
199 videos • 1,228 views • by Glee-chan
1
Internet Scam Alert: Most "Kickstarter" Projects Just Useless Crap
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2
Nike Releases New Olympic Track Suits Designed To Limit Penis Wind Resistance
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3
Romney's Numbers Skyrocket After Prostitute Reveals She Paid Him To Sleep With Her
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4
Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air
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5
Sex House - Meet The Nymphos - Ep. 1
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6
Lake Dredge Appraisal - Chicken Wire/Muddy Pot
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7
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8
Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
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9
Man Who Crossed US In Balloon Only Talks About Horse Abuse
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10
12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams
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11
Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars
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12
Software Indicates Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now
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13
FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan
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14
Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters
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15
Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation
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16
Zebras: Nature's Ultimate Prey - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 1
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17
27 Men Killed in Afghanistan - ONN Autistic Reporter
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18
This Week In History: Statue Of Liberty Arrives From France, Moves Into Cramped Tenement Building
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19
Brooklyn Bridge Opens, Completely Revolutionizes Suicide In Fetid Hellhole Of New York City
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20
This Week In History: First McDonald's Opens With A Young Grimace Just Starting Out As A Cashier
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21
This Week In History: V.E. Day Commemorated With Historic Radio Address From FDR's Rotting Corpse
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22
This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof
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23
'The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust' Release Popularizes Glam Rock, Glam Education, Glam Politics
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24
Failed Musician Comes Crawling Back To Hometown
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25
Kanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria
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26
Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone
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27
Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them
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28
Teen's Death Hits Reporter Hard
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29
Black Conservatives Support Candidate Whose Religion Believes Black People Bear Mark Of Cain
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30
Obama Replaces Costly High-Speed Rail Plan With High-Speed Bus Plan
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31
Dead Wife And Kids Replaced By Miniature Horses
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32
This Day In History: The Invention Of The Handjob
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33
Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall
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34
Ashton Kutcher Caught Canoodling With Ancient Disc Made Of Pure Evil
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35
New Robot Warns When Someone's About To Walk In On You Masturbating
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36
Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal
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37
Pedophiles Upset at Girls Field Hockey Team Uniform Change
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38
Popular 1920s Dance Originated As Way To Terrorize Jews (Season 1: Ep 6 on IFC)
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39
Shelby Cross Takes On Public Indecency By Videotaping Teens Having Sex (Season 1: Ep 7 on IFC)
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40
Supreme Court Revokes Annoying Man's Free Speech Rights (Season 1 Ep: 3 on IFC)
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41
World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100
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42
Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?
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43
DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack
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44
New Ad Urges Hipsters To Go To Applebee's Ironically
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45
Ron Paul Makes Campaign Stop In Whimsical Jalopy
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46
Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish
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47
How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him
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48
Missing Teen's Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates
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49
Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"
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50
Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile
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51
Chimpanzees: Dumber Than All Humans - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 2
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52
New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'
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53
Captain Actual America Overweight, Hopelessly In Debt
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54
HP Offers 'That Cloud Thing Everyone Is Talking About'
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55
This Week In History: Holy Shit, Man Walks On Fucking Moon
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56
Tidal Pools: Nature's Putrid Sewers - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 3
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57
The Onion, FDA Commissioner: I Give up on you Pigs
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58
FDA Official: "Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable"
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59
Embarrassing Bounced Check From Greece Taped Up In IMF Headquarters
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60
Reporters Struggling To Maintain Energy Until Election
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61
World's Youngest Person Born
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62
Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall
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63
Robins: The Perfect Murder Machine - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 4
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64
Horrible Couple Really Wants Wedding To Reflect Their Personalities
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65
God Tells IOC President To Build Ark, Gather 2 Olympians From Each Sport
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66
Spiders: Christ, Fucking Spiders - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 5
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67
Fat Kid Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt
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68
Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids
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69
Cheap, Clean Natural Gas: Earth's One Good Feature - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 6
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70
Jailed Nelson Mandela Becomes Fully Rehabilitated Through South Africa's Stellar Penal System
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71
Animals Spread Disease Constantly - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 7
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72
Obama Up Early Cooking Breakfast In One Of Michelle's Extra Long T-Shirts
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73
This Week In History: The Beatles Play Shea Stadium In Huge Gig Opening For The Mamas And The Papas
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74
Putin Learns Putin Behind Plot To Assassinate Putin
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75
Deer: Deer Are Fine - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 8
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76
Everyone Unaware How Much Freshman Doing Keg Stand Secretly Misses His Parents
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77
Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing
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78
The Desert: Where Life Goes To Die - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 9
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79
Meteorologists Predict Worst Autumn Ever
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80
Snake Eggs - Lake Dredge Appraisal
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81
Manatees: I Saw Manatees Gang Rape A Crippled Manatee Once, Really - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 10
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82
Joe Biden Hitchhikes To Democratic National Convention
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83
What Is Your Amateur Porn Telling Employers About You?
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84
Mice: Nature's Disposable Animals - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 11
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85
Personal Trainer Making Area Man Put On Humiliating Little Show For Entire Gym
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86
White House Officials Confirm Malia Obama Now Seven Feet, Nine Inches Tall
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87
Onion News Network - Future Batman
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88
New High Tech Voting Machine Lets Voters Mutilate Candidate They Oppose
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89
How To Avoid Unbearable Facebook Bullshit On Election Day
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90
Kim's Dark Mirror - Lake Dredge Appraisal
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91
After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016
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92
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show A Hit Among People Who Don't Know That Pornography Exists
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93
Apple Promises To Fix Glitches In Map Software By Rearranging Earth's Geography
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94
38-Year-Old Little Boy Posts Picture Of Fast Car He Likes To Facebook
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95
Man Has Such Good Friends They'll Let Him Drink Himself To Death Right Before Their Eyes
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96
Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit' Stays Faithful To Original Book, Denny's Menu
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97
America's Breathiest Singer? - America's Best - Ep. 1
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98
Scientists Debut Smug Robot That Can Run Half-Marathon, Brag About It
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99
Modern-Day Robin Hood Living In Woods, Shooting Rich People With Arrows
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100
Year In Review: 2012
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101
Man Has Alarming Level Of Pride In Institution That Left Him In Debt, Unprepared For Job Market
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102
Psychiatrists Warn Nation's Used Car Salesman Going Insane, Practically Giving Cars Away
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101
Man Has Alarming Level Of Pride In Institution That Left Him In Debt, Unprepared For Job Market
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102
Psychiatrists Warn Nation's Used Car Salesman Going Insane, Practically Giving Cars Away
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103
Jodie Foster Inspires Teens To Come Out Using Vague, Rambling Riddles
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104
Lance Armstrong Admits Drug Use, Plans Return To Cycling As Flamboyant, Fan-Hating Villain
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105
Diane Sawyer Introduces New Foul-Mouthed, Cigar-Chomping Character To 'ABC World News'
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106
The Onion's Today NOW! Host Jim Haggerty on Good Day NY
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107
Health Officials Urging Americans To Do Something, Anything For 30 Minutes A Day
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108
Local Burger Feels Especially Disgusting Today
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109
Taylor Swift Releases New Breakup Song Slamming Winner Of 'Win A Date With Taylor Swift' Contest
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110
New Orleans Police Struggle To Contain Rioting Ray Lewis After Ravens' Super Bowl Victory
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111
SeaWorld Unveils New 20 Whales Stuffed In Pool Show
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112
Reclusive 'Terrence Malick Of The Beltway' To Release First New Law In 20 Years
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113
Nation's 24 Middle Class Citizens Glad To Hear Obama Looking Out For Them
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114
Devoted Abuser Stops By Girlfriend's Office To Deliver Surprise Threat
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115
Man Didn't Expect Sex With Prostitute Would Be So Emotionally Fulfilling
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116
Study Reveals Conditions In Women's Prisons Deplorably Unsexy
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117
America's Best Huqin Player? - America's Best - Ep. 9
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118
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119
Congress, 1924: Rep. Demands Horses Wear Dresses To Hide Foul Penises
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120
God Airs History Of Workplace Tension With Pope Benedict XVI
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121
Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For Once
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122
Winter Storm Rocky Expected To Hit Kevin Hodges Of Joliet, IL Hardest After The Year He's Had
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123
Retiring Pope Half-Heartedly Suggests Grabbing Lunch Sometime With God
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124
Shady New Wendy's Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions Asked
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125
The Gunman Tragedy: A Recap Of The Onion's Coverage
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126
Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing 'B.A. In Communications' On Résumé
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127
Finance Expert Saves Struggling Zoo By Firing All Employees, Getting Rid Of Cages
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128
Proud Time To Be A Cowering Sack Of Shit As Democrats Back Off Assault Weapons Ban
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129
Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl
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130
VIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court Shot
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131
VIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court Shot
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132
Brad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead Hair
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133
Malicious Focus Group Convinces Marketers Cinnamon Mountain Dew Is The Next Big Thing
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134
'The Internship' Poised To Be Biggest Comedy Of 2005
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135
Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'
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136
The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'
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137
Bird Hunted To Near Extinction Due To Infuriating 'Fuck You' Call
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138
Study: Pregnant Women Can Drink One Bottle Of Wine A Day If Fetus Can Handle Its Shit
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139
New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick
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140
Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts
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141
Candlelight Vigil Held For Legal System
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142
A Recap Of This Week's Royal Baby Coverage
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143
Report: Economy Just One Speech Away From Recovery
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144
Black Part Of Town Moves Across Town
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145
Back Of Library Smells Like Weed
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146
Colorado Boy Asks Nation Not To Find His Missing Little Brother
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147
Mentally Unstable Man To Exhibit 1 Or 2 More Warning Signs Before Finally Doing This
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148
Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink
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149
Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House
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150
Anthony Weiner Announces Bid For Whatever's Left
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151
Small Town Throws Pride Parade For Only Gay Resident
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152
The Onion Looks Back At 'Jaws'
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153
Story Of Small Businessman Struggling Under Obama Administration Draws To Close
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154
The Onion Reviews 'Gravity'
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155
Petty, Shortsighted Americans Outraged At Legislature That Represents Them Perfectly
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156
Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter
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157
The Onion Reviews '12 Years A Slave'
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158
Anonymous Source Tells Reporters That He's Tired Of Being Speaker Of The House
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159
White House Thrilled With Record Number Of People Who Thought They Signed Up For Healthcare
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160
The Onion Looks Back At 'The Shining'
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161
How To Get Your Son To Remove His Halloween Costume
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162
FAA Shocked They Made Lead Story Of This Week's Onion Review
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163
Hollywood's Biggest Stars Rally To Save Their Children
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164
Twitter IPO Price Drops After Investors Realize It Means Partly Owning Jeremy's Feed
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165
Seasons Turn Gracefully From The One That Kills Old People To The One That Kills Homeless People
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166
The Onion's Tips For Succeeding As A Woman In The Workplace
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167
Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia
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168
Town's Teen-Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth
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169
In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation
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170
Christina Aguilera Tour Canceled Due To Fan Exhaustion
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171
Buddhist Extremist Cell Vows To Unleash Tranquility On West
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172
The Onion Reviews 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire'
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173
The Onion's Tips For Decorating A Christmas Tree
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174
The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug'
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175
Onion Year In Review
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176
The Onion Looks Back At 'It's A Wonderful Life'
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177
The Onion's Tips For Last Minute Holiday Shopping
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178
Weather Forecast Says It's Windy As A Bastard
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179
The Onion Looks Back At 'E.T.'
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180
Blanket Of Snow Creates Illusion That Town Not A Total Shithole
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181
BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash
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182
Study: Human Imagination Capable Of Magnificent Things During Masturbation
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183
Horrific Wall Street Allegations Reveal Junior Bankers Forced To Survive On $6,800 Per Week
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184
Nation's Lunatics Lament Rising Cost Of Car Meat
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185
24-Hour News Cycle Seems Like It's Taking Forever
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186
Increasingly Worried Man Hasn't Yet Come Across Any Guacamole In Burrito
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187
Nation Terrified After Millions Lose Consciousness For 8 Whole Hours Last Night
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188
New Study Shows That Bones Are Incredibly Cool
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189
Media Company Lays Off Dozens Of Unskilled Bloggers
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190
Russia Applauds America's Efforts To Exclude Gay Athletes From Professional Sports
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191
Report: Rising Number Of Weak, Emasculated Men Working As Stay-At-Home Dads
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192
Nation's Parents Release Annual Ranking Of Top 50 'Perfectly Good' State Schools
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193
United States Settles .000000012% Of China Debt With Autographed Photo Of Jon Hamm
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194
The Onion Reviews 'RoboCop'
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195
Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other
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196
Middle-Aged Waiter Sadly Not Involved In Any Creative Endeavor
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197
Sheltered Suburban School Already Knows They're Going To Fuck Up Black History Month
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198
Sochi's Euthanized Dogs To Be Returned To Streets After Olympics
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199
New Report Shows Record Year For Births Of Test Tube Abominations
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