This message may be thrown in the void, never to be seen again.
Or I might post it and somehow people actually care to read.
Who knows?
I honestly just want to express some things I've been meaning to get off my chest.
You may know me as ClassicDanceMoms, a youtuber who posted rankings from 2017-2019. Or hell, some ogs may know me from when I posted Dance Moms interview videos from meet and greets during 2013-2015. To my closest friends who I met from here, you know me as just Tori.
So for those who remember, my ClassicDanceMoms era was a big part of my life. However, I had left in September 2019 bc I felt it was time to move forward as I was now living on a college campus. I didn't know the same day I posted my goodbye video, would be the same day my life would forever be changed.
I don't wanna get into details, but something traumatic happened. It was bad, and it still haunts me to this day.
I was going kind of downhill for a while, but that ended up changing my entire life forever. My whole future was based on this event.
So the next few years cause havoc on my life. There was a few good periods, but otherwise mostly hellish. I don't wanna share my entire life story, so please don't ask. Long story short, I ended up being at a very low point in August 2022.
I was rewatching my old videos, something I hadn't done in YEARS. I realized I missed making videos, and just like that I decided to start thinking of video ideas. Next thing you know, I attempt to do a comeback.
It was short lived unfortunately. There was a few reasons why I stopped. However the main one was infact YouTube the company. Now I had beef with YT before I left, but things got so much worse. What pissed me off is them shutting off comments without letting me know when I clearly clicked on comments being turned on. Yes, the dances feature kids, but Dance Moms as a whole isn't a kids show. Ik many people (myself included) did watch it as kids, but it's not a kids show. I believe in the right of free speech, so this aggravated me. They would also randomly shut down my lives. Ik my lives were CRINGE but come on, I wasn't doing anything wrong. However what made me really snap was YT making multiple videos of mine either unviewable or just private them WITHOUT LETTING ME KNOW. What kind of company does that???
Yea, I was done.
But then, the ALDC auction came out, and I spent A LOT of money on items. Trust me though, I am NOT rich. I just had money saved up from a previous job and I'm a little crazy.
Auction day was insane, I was READY to fight! I ended up winning three items. Those were:
-Various ALDC recital books (came in a bundle)
-The Pink Lemonade Hats (also used in Nia's Breaking My Heart solo)
And the best of all...
-The Black Swan Tutus! (my favorite duet since I was 10)
Don't ask me how much I spent... please.
So basically I was ready to do three videos videos: one to show off the items, another of me recreating the Pink Lemonade hat drop, and another to feature pictures from the yearbooks (a collab with me and another person in the fandom). However it took a very long time for the items to come in.
...And during that time, I did something awful
Again, not gonna say much, this is still a recent wound. Somehow it was worse than the previous story I mentioned.
I did manage to make the second video, posted on my Tik Tok and a few other places. The first one was made and almost done, but I never posted it as I was dealing with HEAVY trauma. The third one also fell apart bc of my mental health, but I did take the photos. I still feel bad for just dropping the idea bc another person wad involved. If they somehow find this, I'm geniuely sorry.
I've done some healing since then, and as you may know the Dance Moms Reunion will be airing May 1st. I am excited for it and planning to watch when it airs. However as much as CDM means to me, I will not be posting. Not gonna lie, I still get video ideas once in a while, but I think I've grown up so much since that time. It was a memorable era, and I hold onto the great memories and life lessons I've learned along the way, but I feel at peace with the era I'm in rn. Sure, writing this might sound a bit hypocritical, but it's bc I wanted to let this off my chest as an official farewell.
Thank you all for the memories. Words can't truly described how grateful I am for all this. I may be different now, a bit older and wiser, but it doesn't mean this experience was for nothing. It's worth so much to me and I hope you feel the same way.
-ClassicDanceMoms
(P.S. Don't judge me if I post a swap once in a while on my backup. Usually I do that if I'm really inspired, but I'm not gonna do anything daily)
Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Long story short, on top of needing to do some school work, I'm having an issue with my eye where it's very irritated. It feels like a tiny needle is constantly stabbing at my eye. My Doctor told me to keep that eye closed, so I've had to wear a patch and I'm currently typing this right before I get checked out with one eye open. Spoiler alert, it's a pain in the fucking ass. New video will be out today or tomorrow depending on how this goes.
Whether you are still a DM fan, or haven't watched the show in sometime, it doesn't matter. What matters is Jojo Siwa along with her partner Jenna Johnson will be competiting in the finale of DWTS tomorrow at 8PM EST on ABC. I have a made a playlist of all of her performances if you wanna check them out. She has improved so much in the past ten weeks so please make sure to vote for her! Not only because of her improvements and bc she is from Dance Moms, but also bc she is the first woman in DWTS history to ever compete with a same sex partner. Despite having to deal with homophobia, a breakup, and other kinds of hate, she has truly risen to the challenge and has been performing great week after week. All of these attributes together prove she truly deserves to win. Let's do this guys!!!
QOTD: What's your favorite Jojo and Jenna duet?
Personally, I have a soft spot for their Cinderella themed duet. I think their partner work is great and seeing a more romantic dance between two women is something that just warms my bisexual heart.
Once again Youtube messed up my livestream. I just wanted to connect with y'all and it's extremely frustrating that my lives get random deleted. At the end of the day I just wanted to tell you that I still care about this channel and it was one of the best things I've ever done and with my subs, I'm proud I created something beautiful. Stories may end, but we can always rewatch the journey. Anyways, I hope you are doing well during the Coronavirus. Make sure to wash your hands and wear a mask in public. Idk about y'all but Connecticut got hit real hard due to the fact that we border New York (where a large majority of coronavirus patients are). It's sad to see everything close down, but I'm trying to be hopeful that we can get summer back.
QOTD: What is online school like? I took the semester off before this all went down (gotta love mental health) and I've been hearing mixed reviews. I'm also taking a summer course online so don't hold back any info, lord knows I'lll need it!
Thank you all so much for those who continue to watch my channel. Forever grateful to those who still find joy in my content. Have a goodnight!
xoxo,
Victoria
To anyone who tried to watch my lives that legit just happened:
So my 3rd live got taken down again bc of "copyrighted content" (aka me talking).
Yet when bots spam "ew", basically harassing me, it doesn't get fixed.
I'm so sorry we couldn't talk longer, ily you all!
Too bad YouTube as a company sucks.
-Victoria
Hi guys. So as you know, I haven't posted actual ranking videos in months, but I've still been watching videos on this account daily. I recently realized though that whenever I see DM content, I get really depressed. It makes me miss a lot of things. Now it's all gone and yet the old times still haunt me. I wish I could go back to the days where I was 10 and I saw the main cast as superstars. That feeling has been long gone though as I've grown up. Still, when I rejoined the fandom as ClassicDanceMoms in 2017, I was able to make amazing friends who I talked to daily. I may not have been a huge fangirl over the girls, but having connections with others kept my passion going. Now that they have all moved on, I'll be logging off of this account permanently. There is no point being on here anymore. I'm sorry to all of y'all who still like my channel, but it's for the best.
Xoxo,
-Victoria, ClassicDanceMoms
Just wanted to say I miss you guys. Hope you are doing well!
Hi! My name is Victoria aka ClassicDanceMoms. I'm just a small town channel hoping to make it in the big city of the Internet. If you enjoy anything Dance Moms related, it's all here on my channel. If you want high quality, well thought out content, you've come to the right place.
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