1.1K - 94
i want to stream a path of exile character from scratch
which one of these sounds more fun
(if you dont know anything about POE just pick whichever one sounds funnier)
133 - 55
I've attempted to confide this with those I hold close, but I don't think I'll experience any true relief until I talk about it out loud. This is going to suck, but I trust you'll be alright with it.
To be completely and brutally honest, I'm worried about myself. I've been battered with suicidal urges and ungodly long fantasies of hurting myself at night that I no longer feel normal when they pass. I wouldn't say I'm dangerously suicidal, I actively hate the idea of ever acting on anything like that, but this is the worst it has ever gotten in my life so far. If you want the truth, the streaming I've been doing so frequently has been a somewhat dubiously healthy way of coping with how bad it has gotten, as it distracts me enough from my thoughts that I can feel normal for a time. I call it dubious because I've overexerted myself in the process of doing them daily as I have so far, my throat is in tatters. I've felt like I have to stream lately, not for any reason other than when I'm not, or when I'm not hanging out with a friend, I have to handle the thoughts. It's especially bad in the mornings, hence why I tended to always start streaming in the morning.
I think I *have* to take time off for a little bit, at least for a little bit. If I don't, I'm worried I'll push myself even further and end up feeling even worse. And given the dire nature of what I'm handling, feeling worse may lead to something damaging if I'm not careful. If you see me streaming at any point between now and the 15th of August, tell me to go the hell back to bed.
Unlike usual, I can't promise you I'll be completely alright. But I *can* promise you that I'll try my best to come out of this untouched.
2.7K - 272
blap blap
1.1K - 92
i know you all tend to talk about how my videos instill vocal stims into you that become a part of your vernacular like a parasite, so im giving you fair warning now, my next video may actually be the single worst example of this and will be an hour+ of handsome jack going "blap blap"
1.1K - 87
jesus christ its been two days and you've already donated enough money for us to, with insurance payouts, easily grab another car and pay for the insurance on it as well
i really mean it when i say i almost cried tears of joy seeing some of the bigger donations and some of their attached messages, you made me and my family feel very cared about and safe, and i wont be forgetting this any time soon
ill have to pay you all back somehow, i just dont know how lol
2K - 94
this is a bit of a serious post for once, recently we were involved in a super bad car crash that completely totaled our vehicle and has left us without any form of transportation until we can get a new one, but it's completely uncertain if we're going to receive any compensation as we had no insurance and we don't know if the other party involved has it either
its not urgent, its not going to determine life or death, but if you would like to help me and my family, we'd love you eternally for even the smallest amount of support
ko-fi.com/spazmaticbanana
1.6K - 63
next video will be 30 minutes of a buff argonian slapping people and driving cars to his death
930 - 51
the final fantasy 7 video is rendering right now
813 - 71
in a hypothetical scenario in which i played an entire playthrough of modded skyrim, what are some wacky mods i should add (gameplay, sounds, music, etc)
((the buff argonian mods are non-negotiable))
1K - 174
i do things sometimes, that's about it
(pfp by slushie soda youtube.com/channel/UCgbNgZz0JwPIH8ZIPhLEH0w )
twitter: twitter.com/SpazmaticBanana