Welcoem to posts!!
in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
3. You are overwhelmed by guilt. Something earlier in your life made you conclude that you are a terrible person and deserve to be punished. This can include survivorâs guilt (including being the âbetterâ sibling and watching your sibling struggle with your parentsâ poor treatment of them, with mental health issues, or with addiction), a history of treating others badly when you yourself were suffering (e.g., with addiction, untreated depression or borderline symptoms, etc), or having a parent who grew up in poverty or in an abusive home who always made you feel that you didnât appreciate your âopportunities.â
www.drpsychmom.com/7-reasons-you-think-you-dont-deâŚ
3 - 0
The moment that people who have low self-esteem in this way find a partner who âchecks the boxesâ that they had always had in their mind for a potential mate (most often being a good parent to future kids, so that their own kids will never have the childhood they experienced), they feel tremendous anxiety. Instead of feeling relieved and happy, they instead start worrying that this person will get away, and their only chance for getting married will be gone. This anxiety crops up no matter how old the person is or how many people actually do find them attractive. This âscarcity mentalityâ is rooted in childhood dysfunction, not a realistic assessment of chances to find a partner, and it is something I discuss here. People in this situation exhibit a preoccupied attachment style, often acting jealous or controlling, trying to ensure that the partner does not get away from them.
www.drpsychmom.com/the-elephant-in-the-room-of-youâŚ
6 - 0
Here are anxious ways to frame a topic and non-anxious changes to that frame that are much healthier and objective:
âMy child needs me to feel safe enough to sleepâ â> âMy child and I enjoy cuddling.â
âMy child hates when I leave because they are scaredâ â> âMy child hates when I leave because they are bored.â
âMy child needs my hand on his backâ â> âMy child likes my hand on his back.â
âMy child doesnât feel safe enough to sleep in my absenceââ> âMy child hasnât had enough practice yet at being an independent sleeper in order to sleep well in my absence.â
âI am a bad mom if I make my child feel unsafe by letting them fall asleep aloneâ â> âI am a great mom to tackle my own fear of my childrenâs negative emotions and teach them frustration tolerance, which is an essential life skill.â
www.drpsychmom.com/your-kid-doesnt-feel-unsafe-wheâŚ
4 - 0
This disparity in aspirations occurs more often than you might think. It can manifest in any of these scenarios:
One partner believes that the bulk of their earnings should be saved, and they should live beneath their means, and the other partner wants to enjoy what they consider âthe good lifeâ that they always wanted as a kid
The partner with more education or a âfancierâ job wants to move âupâ to the next class, but the other partner is more comfortable hanging out with people of the class they were previously in and therefore wants to remain in the same neighborhood and not alienate these friends by conspicuous displays of wealth
One partner wants to get off the âhamster wheelâ of earning more and more at a stressful job, and wants to downsize, and the other thinks this way of thinking is lazy or not doing their best for their kids
And more in the post!
www.drpsychmom.com/when-your-partner-wants-to-jumpâŚ
3 - 1
Beware!!
5 - 0
Many women are under the misapprehension that if their husband is more âexperiencedâ than them, then they know most things about sex and they will teach them how to enjoy it. Lots of women donât masturbate, watch porn, read erotica, or even have explicit fantasies because they think these things are bad or dirty, so they are waiting for a transformative sexual awakening from a 25 year old man who has had three one night stands and two long term girlfriends both of which were too shy to tell him that he never gave them an orgasm. This is not the pathway to sexual salvation.
www.drpsychmom.com/are-you-really-not-that-into-seâŚ
#marriage #relationships #love #psychologist #therapist #intimacy #couples
10 - 1
Just in time for upcoming holidays!!
Did your parent(s) struggle with depression, substance abuse, anxiety, traits of Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder, and/or a conflictual or unhappy marriage?
Do you feel like your upbringing stopped you from learning what "normal" is?
Are you sometimes angry or disappointed in yourself that you can't just "get over" your experiences as a kid?
Do you still struggle with interactions with your family members today, and/or have you gone low/no contact and struggle with this?
Do you feel that you are constantly seeing links between your childhood and your current functioning, in relationships, as a parent, at work, and more, and this is frustrating and upsetting?
Does your partner, who grew up differently, sometimes not understand why some things are so hard for you, despite you seeming so "normal" most of the time?
Then this group is for you!!
www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/adult-children-dyâŚ
3 - 0
Would you want your daughter to have to manage the childrearing, chores, and finances on her own? Would you want her to walk on eggshells because her husband may explode at any moment? What about a man who cheated or lied to her? Someone who drinks every night and/or watches sports for ten hours every weekend day while she manages the kids? Or even a man who doesnât look up from his phone when she tries to talk about her day? If the answer is no, then you must work on any similar traits that you exhibit. I am sure you want your daughter to find a man who values her and respects her, and to immediately leave any man who doesnât because it is so distasteful and unfamiliar to her to be with a guy who doesnât act nice to her. But she will never have this confidence if she sees you treat her mother poorly. If you act selfish and irresponsible, or dishonest, or lazy, these traits will form the basis of what she is drawn to in a man later in life, despite her best efforts otherwise.
www.drpsychmom.com/would-you-want-your-daughters-hâŚ
5 - 0
Finally!! Partner's guide is out pre-recorded!!
checkout.square.site/merchant/ML98Q9FN0QPXK/checkoâŚ
3 - 0
There are situations where the adult children beg the âvictimâ parent to leave the other, but the parent consistently responds that divorce would be terrible for them, for the grandkids, for the other parent, for their finances, and any other reason they can invent when cornered. They often are unaware of how dependent they are on the âdifficultâ partner for identity and validation (e.g., the validation they get from friends/family from how hard their life is, or the self-validation from being a martyr).
www.drpsychmom.com/why-do-people-stay-together-forâŚ
7 - 1
Dr. Psych Mom is Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, a clinical psychologist in private practice! She is the founder of DrPsychMom.com, and her podcast is The Dr. Psych Mom Show. Born in Brooklyn, NY, Dr. Whiten lives with her husband and three kids in Maryland and is the director of Best Life Behavioral Health, a virtual therapy practice with an awesome team of therapists. Dr. Psych Mom is known for straightforward, no BS views about relationships, parenting, and more. Buy my newest book Couples You Meet In Counseling here: amzn.to/3AnUCSf
Email me at samantha@drpsychmom.com to be my client or check out all the awesome therapists and coaches who work for me at bestlifebehavioralhealth.com!