Welcoem to posts!!
in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
And even though my computer was taken away, I found a way✨
And I'll be back soon with a new video after 10 months of absence 🤍
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My Miller's Girl video was blocked in some countries and and copyright appeared. So I'm wondering if I should try reupload it.
In the meantime, I made shorts.
youtube.com/shorts/m_j5qAiP2O...
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It hurts too much 💔
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Watch my new video in YouTube shorts
Bruce and Keila ❤️🔥
Link: youtube.com/shorts/VK4oaeeqrY...
#BerlinNetflix #Berlin #lacasadepapel #MoneyHeist #fanvidfeed #edits
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January 2, 2024. Morning.
I woke up to an explosion. And I stayed awake the rest of the time, as Ukraine was being pelted with missiles all morning. Kyiv was just endlessly attacked, as well as Kharkiv. There are no words to express my tiredness and anger. More and more often there is no strength. I thought it was just a malfunction in the body, but no, it's the nervous system that takes care of you, sending you to sleep more and more often.
Every time I start the illusion of life, I forget that it's not life at all.
December 28th was my birthday, I cried standing in the shower at night. Holidays are absolutely no joy, it's just an excuse to worry more. There is only one wish - that this would all be over soon. But there's no end to it.
I cried tears of despair today, too. Every once in a while, when I see people who are just LIVING, I feel bad. Especially after rough nights and mornings. It's not that I'm jealous or angry at these people, no, everyone has their own life. But when you've lived in this environment for almost 2 years, there are times when it can all come to a head and break you. And you think, here I am, I've turned 30 years old already, and I'm just wasting my time and can't live life to the fullest. I'm not even talking about going on vacation or something like that.
You're forced to sit through a war that doesn't end and look for joy in everyday life, distract yourself, work, but then there's massive shelling or you just think about life and it immediately crushes you. And plus you also start thinking: how much longer like this? Yeah, thanks for being alive, sure, but when you're most of the time - existing, it's hard to call it life.
Instead of the main problem being making money for joy, you're going through it all... And it doesn't end.
Years go by, and you're still standing. Life is at a standstill, but the clock keeps going.
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Happy #Halloween! 🎃
In honor of this holiday, I made #StrangerThings horror video about #MaxMayfield and #Vecna that I couldn’t finish for a long time. A great reason to finish it. Go to my channel and watch the new video.
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At the beginning of September I went to see my beloved @MargaritaLife to Kyiv for a week.
The last time I saw her was before the war. And now I had the opportunity to come, just in time.
During this time I was able to relax and experience life differently. I turned off the sound on the air raid app and tried to rest as much as possible and enjoy some downtime with my beloved friend.
Luckily, during my visit we didn’t have to experience anything terrible and there wasn’t even any air raid during the day. We walked a lot, went to important errands and beauty stuff, chatted a lot, went shopping, etc. It was a wonderful feeling of a fresh breath of air that I had missed so much over the years. Time for yourself, good sleep and enjoying a quiet life. It was wonderful! I remember this feeling when we were walking in the park, people were relaxing, swimming, eating, having fun. It was as if I had entered another world where all this horror do not happen.
A healing trip. And thank you, my dear Maryna, for giving me this wonderful time and emotions 🤍
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MASTERPIECE🔥
Witcher Henry will forever be in my heart.
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Addition to the last post and a lot of personal.
First of all, the video is still "coming soon", ofc, but not as I planned. A little bit. I thought I'd post it tonight or during the day. But I have to stop for a while. Why?
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THORNY'S NOTES.
28th July, 2023.
Friday.
Lost in time.
───────•••───────
'Cause during these two days I hardly slept, or rather, if I slept, then maybe an hour. And... I'm not really sure in this.
It's moral difficult days, no healthy sleep. I'm constantly pulled out of sleep either by a fu..freaking air raid alert, or threats of drones, missiles, ballistic missiles.., or the weather, especially a downpour with thunder, I really like it (no), then my fu..freaking upstairs neighbor who loves to knock and make noise, especially in recent days, then nervousness, which I have no control over, or alarm clocks...not mine, or some other stuff...
Today, too, things didn't go according to plan. Since last night. Insomnia, then a semblance of sleep, then nerves, then I saw that The Witcher (3 vol. 2) had come out. And there is no time for sleep either. I went to download and prepare these final series for editing + also editing. I think I'll finish it, I'll sleep...I didn't finish it. And... Spoiler alert: I didn't sleep.
I’m probably already like a zombie, I don’t really think, I’m here now in reality only thanks to adrenaline and emotions. As a result, I decided, okay, I’ll finally sleep, tomorrow I’ll calmly sit down with a fresh head and finish the video. And here...
My husband is covered with a wild toothache. What is "sleep"? Does it even exist? And also, it’s very hard when a husband at the time of illness looks like Sheldon Cooper 🥲 (for those, who understand🤗).
I won't go into details, but all night I ran and read Google and looked for something to ease his pain. The pain didn't calm down. As a result, we found at least something saving and he fell asleep. But not me. Why?
My psyche learned the lesson so much these days: sleep/calmness/rest = lack of silence/nerves/what did you say? Sleep and relax?😁f-word you, female dog.
That my psyche decided: probably it's better not to sleep at all?
According to the law of meanness, what do we have? Silence this night and morning, no air raid alerts and threats, surprisingly acceptable weather by sounds, the neighbor is silent, the husband is sleeping, the alarm clock does not ring, and I do not sleep 🥲 Because I have a feeling that if I fall asleep now, then my peace will destroy something from all of the above, and maybe something else new. For example, now also heartburn...
Help🥲 How to live with it? I so dream of a restful sleep now without any extraneous irritants. I so want to sleep without interruption, without unnecessary sounds, nerves and worries. To tears... From lack of sleep, my psyche became too receptive.
What's positive?
I quit smoking. If anyone is interested, I will write more later. Of course, it's only been about a week. And I sometimes save myself with Tic-Tak or Halls Mini Mints (my temporary new addiction 😁).
But I won't go back to it. The decision was made firmly and after reading Allen Carr, there is no point in going back. And it pleases me, especially that I don’t break even on such difficult days. The decision was made firmly and after reading Allen Carr, there is no point in going back. And it pleases me, especially that I don’t break even on such difficult days.
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✎﹏ So it goes. Lots of text, but I wanted to share it. Information about the video is at the beginning of the text, the rest is just my little cry of despair.
I would be glad if people who need support could find it here, maybe there are people who lack this support. Feel free to find a safe place here and maybe your people.
───────
P.S. I hope I can get some sleep now..
Sincerely yours, Thorny Rose 🌹
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My name is Xenia. Welcome to my channel!
Each of my videos is my soul. I am extremely glad that I can share a part of myself and find like-minded people.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting my videos!
I'll be very happy if you subscribe to my channel 🌹
birthdate: 28.12