I've seen other replies/comments linked to mine about Adalia Rose: considering as disrespectful as other people thought about my reply. Over time, not only did other people not like my reply, but they somehow managed to go into my channel (this channel), kept disliking some of my videos and even comment about my reply on Adalia Rose, which is (somehow) overwhelming to me, especially as an autistic person. So it's finally time to explain why I did this.
For over a year, I have been insecure as it all started since I 'alternatively' watched a short video about NATO caring for Ukraine, but not for most Middle Eastern countries like Syria, Palestine, Iraq, Yemen and Afghanistan, which somehow made me lose hope in humanity before I sincerely heard my brother talking to his girlfriend about a man terrorizing a mosque in Quebec city 7 years ago, which, in addition, heartily turned me against humanity. [I've made some contents about me terrorizing the world as a "post", especially losing hope on humanity, in my other channel @TC-1101 - https://youtu.be/rG4t3AgWry8 , https://youtu.be/9Ufsn-C6u1c , https://youtu.be/1L2vG-cIKhA , youtube.com/post/UgkxyypDUnEZkU9ygO6hcjWz2-lrol421… , youtube.com/post/UgkxKVjG8lED-xyxxlrQOnzoZO1c5pY8e… , youtube.com/post/Ugkx3SL9EHStMcTAhs7d9DiWw0QSYuY9f… , youtube.com/post/Ugkxc9PUPTTsGko4lBnbufd_tvdOCmzes…]
Over time, I've started to notice most of my body parts that would often make me feel insecure: my lips, my eye shapes, my nose shape and my skin tone [I've been this insecure for 11 months, which had somehow caused my depression to trigger]. Not only was I insecure, but I was also ashamed of being muslim due to social anxiety, especially comparing my body to other white/caucasian people. But luckily, no one was ever islamophobic towards me. [However, they may sometimes discriminate me, but I don't take that seriously. Although it could be].
6-7 months later, my insecurities got so bad that I started to feel insecure about being autistic: wanting to be as neurotypical as other students in my school [13.3% autistic and 87.7% normal]. And until December, that is the moment where I commented something so disrespectful to Adalia Rose to the point where others criticized me because of this, including my new viewers.
In short, the reason why I "disrespected her death" is because I was insecure with being autistic like 4-5 months ago for I tried to be like a 100% neurotypical person (like the students in my school) like the 'school bullies' before I simultaneously realized the wrongdoing of a neurotypical person, though I am autistic.
Unlike other people with autism, I am one of the only ones who doesn't mind being touched, asked, or joked [however, it kinda feels a bit awkward for me being touched by someone else, especially asking me for something.] Hence, I am sorry that the viewers who did not like my disrespect to Adalia Rose, not for her death, but for her appearance. And I am lucky that God created me beautifuly.
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Just a picture to download.
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