I'm Jake. I've struggled with social anxiety my entire life. I never grew out of it, like people told me I would. It only got worse. I dreaded every interaction, knowing I'd do something to make myself look boring, stupid, or useless - knowing everyone would notice. I constantly felt physically sick, and couldn't stop myself from visibly shaking when confronted with simple conversation. I would dwell on the shame of minor embarrassments for days. I couldn't enjoy anything, and I hated myself.
A diagnosis of social anxiety disorder in 2018 didn't offer me any real answers. But when I finally learned about avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) in 2020, I began to understand what was happening to me, and why. I developed an empathy for myself that I had completely lacked before, and it literally saved my life. I was officially diagnosed with AvPD in 2021. Now I know who I am, and who I want to be. I'm here to share what I've learned about fighting to feel like the normal guy I am :)