Welcoem to posts!!
in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
Do tell, what ails you now, my unemployed little freeloader ? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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If partners in crime was a photo. 😆
145 - 4
He’s contemplating whether or not he’ll fit in the feed room - spoiler alert he won’t
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Why be a horse when you can be a zebra??😂😂
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𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬?
Lately there has been quite the scandal & discussions in the horse world. It always seems to be heightened around the Olympics
And while there certainly are some things that we’ve seen that are outright horrible, I find myself struggling with the online attacks of other human beings, the desire to destroy them, or even in a lesser intensity the people that go looking for problems to highlight in every event , to find the one thing wrong so they can make an outraged post about it.
I saw a post today that listed all of the accounts to follow to keep up-to-date with everything that’s being done wrong at the Olympics….
Are there legitimate horse welfare issues for some participants? Yes.
Are there things on social media or even in the communities around us that aren’t cool? Yes.
But attacking other humans with such a mob mentality, doing videos to “discuss” how awful they are, looking for everything that you can find to criticize , and work up the comments into a frenzy of angry people in an effort for what?
While it’s heightened due to the Olympics, it’s not limited to it.
There are many channels and social media accounts that are devoted to attacking others in the name of “horse welfare”.
I refuse to watch them because in my mind they’re not “feel good” channels. They’re toxicity wrapped in self righteousness
There’s one popular YouTuber who has made a whole career about and I quote her words “exposing people I hate” and goes after people including a whole series on a CHILD
Making examples of other people (even if they’re in the wrong) for clicks, likes and reievancy is not advocacy.
That’s aggression.
It’s done to raise their own self importance. It’s done with an “eye for an eye” mentality. It’s meant to destroy a persons life.
It does nothing to help horses,
Especially if the trainer or athlete has already had professional repercussions. They’ve paid the price. They’ve faced professional consequences in the appropriate forum.
Why the personal piling on? What does it actually accomplish? Other than having an opinion and make the one doing the piling on “feel” like they’ve done something? How does it “really” help horses to do a scathing commentary ?
Feeling disdain & disgust and anger is normal and rightly justified at times. I’m one who believes that feelings - no matter how intense - are never wrong.
But while feelings are an involuntary & natural nervous system response - behavior on the other hand is 💯 a choice.
Sometimes the world of “kind” horsemanship are the most toxic and emotionally violent to other humans.
Everyone seems to want to call someone an abuser, or that something is wrong with their horsemanship, or that they’re selfish etc
While I’ve never directly called anyone an abuser, nor have I ever criticized another’s persons horsemanship either on line or to their face, I’m still guilty. Because some of my past videos, instead of highlighting what I was doing and showing what I am
Doing, would ALSO be critical of what I perceived the masses to be doing.
I realized it was bordering on toxicity, and not helpful so I stopped it.
Many times our opinions are just that - opinions colored by our own biases. (Even educated professionals who claim to follow scientific principles still have biases!!!!)
My eyes were really opened last year when someone who presents themselves as an advocate for horses said a lot of hurtful and awful things to me in the name of “speaking up for the horse” - my big sin? Following my veterinarians advice and not their alternative “opinion.”
It was devastating to me to think that someone could hold and vocalize such a negative opinion of me simply for not doing things their way.
That was on a small individual scale and it almost broke me, I can’t even imagine the cruelty felt by people who are publicly shamed, vilified , and cancelled under a mob mentality. Especially a global one.
This. Is. The. Type. Of.Bullying. That. Causes. People. To. Unalive. Themselves.
People need to stop and think before they push record or post!
Yet, it’s all justified in their minds because of someone’s behavior. And yeah sometimes that behaviour is awful. (And many times it’s just a simple difference of professional opinion,) And yet those same folks would agree that no matter how a horse behaves, even if it’s dangerous, that their behavior never warrants aggression and violence.
So why is it ok to a human?
The same people would agree that it’s important to understand what’s causing the behavior and why it might make sense to the horse. If you can understand what causes the behavior You can help change the behavior instead of punishing the behavior
So why is the same grace not extended to humans?
They are literally doing the same thing they are speaking out against.
It’s complet incongruent.
The crazy thing is that as humans our subconscious minds need to be in integrity. And when it comes to our subconscious mind integrity means living by our values, so that what we say and what we do and what we believe are all in alignment. And so we will always come back into alignment of what’s true for us.
And so if a person is aggressive to another human, it WILL show up (if only behind closed doors) with theirs or others’ horses. In the example I gave of my own situation above, that person ended up consciously making a decision that was actually harmful to my horse, because if I wasn’t going to do it their way they didn’t really care about the horse. They actually told me their NAME mattered more.
And when I see how many people jumping on the bandwagon to attack another horse person online through videos, or through posts, it really seems to me like this is more about THEIR name and THEIR relevance
And I know, that even saying this, I’m gonna have a lot of people jumping on me saying that I’m defending horse abuse, or harmful practices.
I’m not.
At all.
I see a lot of things that make my stomach turn.
And I also know that my journey to where I am was paved with good intentions, but walked over with a lot of errors.
And I’m pretty sure most of the people that are jumping all over others have also done things they’re not proud of , just not on camera.
And when they learned better, they did better, and as they learn more and I learn even more about how to do better we do better.
Doing better by and for our horses is a lifelong journey.
And we all pray for grace and compassion for our growth, our errors and our learning through the process.
Anger and aggression has never made things better in anything.
Yes a lot of practices need changing.
AND
We can be advocates without aggression.
We can condemn behavior without condemning humans.
We can hold compassion for the human with out condoning their behavior
We can showcase through our own platforms what is possible.
We can highlight our training and husbandry without implied criticism or ridicule of those who do it different.
If we truly believe in kindness, gentleness and softness, it’s starts with US in all things and extends to all species.
As horse people, what would happen if realizing that while everyone screws up, we took the position of assuming the best in people instead of the worst.
What if we took the position that everybody knows something and that we don’t know everything?
What if we didn’t always need to be right or relevant?
What if we realize that leaving a snarky comment on somebody’s video, Or doing a rebuttal to a video, is likely not going to do anything to help the horse that you’re seeing in that video?
Yes, somethings are really hard to see, and I understand the feelings of outrage, I’ve had them too.
And if instead of taking keyboard action on the outrage, you took that energy and channeled it to something you actually could change, no matter how small, And starting in your own barn, what would it be?
If you truly feel called to do more, then DO more - get training, teach, host a clinic, donate your time AND money, rescue or rehab a horse, start a grass roots organization, refuse to watch videos that perpetuate harmful practices, don’t shop sponsors (and you can make that personal choice without trying to publicly destroy them too) , etc
𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 “𝙨𝙖𝙮” 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚
There are so many ways to effect positive change.
What if we approached everyone with a desire to support them? What if we respected boundaries ? What if respectful dialogue was the norm?
I’ll conclude this tome with the same question I started with
𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬?
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Adira “debuting” her career.
When our horses work in our equine coaching programs, we operate on a consent basis so if they don’t feel it and don’t wanna show up or feel intimidated, they don’t have to work.
Up until now, I really haven’t asked Adira if she’d like to work - she did briefly a walk with a client last year, but I just been feeling this year that she just wasn’t really feeling up to it, but I noticed that this week there was something different.
She’s been curious and watching so much that we as a group decided to invite her to join on her terms.
We gave her lots of space. Mostly over the fence. Anyone that went in to the actual field or paddock, with her she already had met before and kind of knew
It really was a gift when she briefly laid down in the field with my client in the field as well (albeit at a distance that Adira felt safe)
The beauty of this work is that our horses hold space for our clients to heal and come into wholeness within themselves
And the other gift is that Healing works both ways.
So grateful to my clients to agree to be there to hold space for Adira, in this next part of her journey
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Hey everyone - I know this isn’t my usual type of content but wanted to share here in case anyone wanted to hear my story.
A few years ago after we bought the ranch and started our equine programs I hired a publicist to get the word out.
But that never happened even though I paid her 30K. Yep you read that right. I’m still paying off the debt it created and I try not to judge or shame myself for it and for my gullibility.
I was so embarrassed and ashamed I never told a soul other than my husband, my mentor and a couple of close friends.
5 years later I’m finally sharing my story and was interviewed on the Red Flags podcast.
If you want to listen the link is in the pinned comment
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Somebody had her first bath of the season today. She did great
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They’re sharing mash…..
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I saw a post today saying the greatest gift we can give our horses is peace. I was nodding along until I got to this part:
“When the horse is doing the right thing we offer peace. When they are not doing the right thing - we don’t.“
It made me sad. It’s a form of the popular saying “make the right thing easy & the wrong thing hard”, which I also don’t like. But put like that it really makes clear what is underlying it
Our horses depend on us for everything, physically, emotionally & functionally(ie they need to be trained & safe)
But peace should never be a reward only for doing what we want
Becoming a space & source of peace for our horse means they feel safe with us & can look to us for comfort when they’re worried, guidance when they’re confused, & protection from what scares them. If peace is conditional - we are not offering true peace
Yes:
You can set boundaries from a place of peace
You can be firm & still be peaceful
You can redirect or correct unwanted behavior & do it from a place of peace
You can ask them to do something they don’t want to do & still give them peace
You can challenge them & ask for more from a peaceful heart
You can even escalate pressure, though I prefer to step back & break it down more, but if it’s necessary (and sometimes it really is) it can STILL be peaceful
You don’t ever need to make the wrong thing “hard” to help them learn how to do the right thing
It doesn’t matter what species it is, even human, doing something because it’s easier than the alternative does not create a peaceful mind or spirit. It just suppresses emotion that eventually WILL be expressed in an unhealthy way
If a horse isn’t doing what we want there’s always a simple explanation:
They don’t understand
They’re scared
They’re frustrated
They’re in pain
They have a negative association with what’s being asked
They might just want to chill with their buddy
It’s a reason that makes sense to THEM. It’s not that they’re not doing the “right thing”. But rather in that moment they’re struggling. It’s up to us to help them through it.
So I agree the greatest gift we can give our horses is peace, and even moreso, ESPECIALLY when they’re struggling
Peace should be the baseline. Not a reward.
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Just wholesome fun behind our day to day life, training, working, playing with and taking care my herd of 4 healing horses, 3 of whom are not rideable and/or retired.
Our adorable “farm dog fail” Murphy the Pug will make the odd appearance too.
My horses all work as coaches in our equine assisted learning & coaching programs.
While I do love to ride, I also love not riding. While I’m not a professional trainer, I do work with and train my own horses of varied backgrounds. My hope is to raise awareness for kinder training methods, and for the rich and rewarding life we can have with horses even without riding.
Our new mare that we just rescued is unrideable due to a medical condition, but perfectly healthy otherwise. And that’s just fine by us. She doesn’t need a rider on her back ever. The last couple years of her life before living here were harsh. I hope you’ll join as we go through her emotional rehab and transformation.