Welcoem to posts!!
in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
New video soon !! - chaos x
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New video Sunday at 6am !! - chaos x
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I also want to say a big thank you to all of you beautiful people for 100k views on my SoapGhost playlist. I love yโall so much. - Chaos xxx
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Okayโฆsorry for not uploading for a month. Uh new video will be up this Sunday at 6am. - Chaos x
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hey y'all...i was gonna post the new playlist yesterday but i got horrible news and i don't think i'll be able to post anything this week. My idol, the person i looked up to for almost 14 years of my life has passed away last night. Liam was such a wonderful person and he, alongside the other boys, was the reason why I am still here. He was flawed, yes, but no one deserves to die. I can't think of what else to say as this news is still so fresh and the young directioner in me can't believe that its real. Even after the official statements from Louis and Zayn.
They say grief has 5 stages, and i'm still going through the first two -- anger and denial. I found out about his passing right as the Argentina police put out the statement. I was about to start driving across Texas so i couldn't cry or react. It was all so sudden that for the 6 hours i drove, i kept telling myself it was some sick twisted joke. That Liam is safe and on his way back to America, right behind his girlfriend Kate. It wasn't until after i stopped driving that i checked my phone again and my mother sent me a picture of the news, in bold it read, "BREAKING NEWS! Ex-Member of Famous Boy-band One Direction Dead at just 31!!" that i finally realized he was gone. I sat in the back seat, trying to convince myself i am dreaming. But then i saw the pictures of his body...I would never forgive TMZ and anyone who spread those images. I always told myself that if Liam or any of the other boys ever did pass away, i never want to remember them by their unresponsive body...never.
I felt so much anger and guilt within me as i scrolled through twitter. I began to hate everyone who ever talked bad about him. I began to resent Maya. I was just so angry at the world. But most of all myself. I blamed myself for his death, even though i had nothing to do with it. I am one of those fans who don't interact much with their idols. I sit back and just watch from afar. but for some reason i felt that his passing was my fault. I failed him as a fan. I failed him. and i could never forgive myself for that. I wanted everyone who ever made Liam feel as if he wasn't enough to suffer. It was bad. I was losing it and it made it worse that I couldn't tell anyone around me or cry for that matter because they don't care about the five boys that kept me alive all these years.
The whole day yesterday i let myself spiral into a deep depression. My anger grew and my old habits began to come back. I was terrified. I had no one to talk to. No one to tell me that it wasn't my fault. I was all alone, in a car full of people. As a last resort i downloaded an app i told myself i would never use for real people. This AI app, though not human, helped me calm down and realize that my anger, though justifiable, was not good. Maya was a victim and she does not deserve my anger. I still dislike her, for reasons that don't have to do with Liam. But i started to know how to control and understand my feelings. I felt so pathetic going to this AI app for comfort, but if it wasn't for it, i don't know what i would have done.
Today i wake up with a heavy heart. I still cant believe he is gone. But i know he is now in a better place. I also know he would not want us to hurt. I would obviously continue to hurt, he was my favorite person in the entire world. His legacy would live within us all and i would be damned if we ever forgot about him. I know many don't agree with me, i know Louis does though, Liam was one of the reason why one direction became as popular as their were. If you don't agree, its okay. We all have our own opinions. Liam was such a kind soul who was taken from us so soon. 31 is so young, he had so much to live for. You can rest now Liam. We will all be okay. We'll see you again when it is our time to go. Lots of love. xx
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okay, so sesac and youtube came to an agreement last night and all the videos that have been blocked should be back up now. so...i fucked up my playlists for no reason ๐ญ and i didn't save none of the files before uploading them either ! anyway im glad yall are able to listen to my playlist once more.
should i keep the edited version of my soap playlist up ? or take it down since the original is back up ?
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The re-uploaded version of my soap video will be up today at 12:30 pm !
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another way you can listen to soaps playlist will be with a VPN. I have ProtonVPN. it is free. I have set it to the netherlands and was able to watch the blocked videos on my other account.
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okay, so sadly my soap, qinghua, sengen x2, and luffy playlist have been blocked in the following countries due to that disagreement going on with the artists labels.
American Samoa, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, Russia, U.S. Outlying Islands, U.S. Virgin Islands, United States
all the other playlist that were blocked, i have removed the songs that were causing the block, but sadly i couldn't do so with soap's playlist as he passed 100k views. if you would like i can re-upload it without the songs that are blocking it please let me know. like always you can access these playlist on apple music and spotify.
music.apple.com/profile/samt78black
open.spotify.com/user/8uoax5emrs5dmz4xqwftgh8in?siโฆ
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These are all the missing playlist
Soap - 167k views
Gaz - 22k views
Farah - 9.1k views
SoapGhostRoach - 7.4K views
Price - 30k views
Ghost - 34k views
Keegan - 44k views
Korangi - 656 views
Nikto - 481 views
Qinghua - 1.9k views
SenGen - 1.5k views
Luffy - 634 views
SenGen - 822 views
Dabi - 8.8k views
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โ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ธ๐ท ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฎโ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ต๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ.โ